Once a cheater always a cheater.
This is true.. However its not the end all. Being a cheater is not unlike being an alcoholic, you have to come to terms with it. Recognize what it is and avoid situations that temp you. The urge never leaves you,,,, you just control it when you find the one you love..
This is probably not going to make any sense to most is it? *shrugs*
Exploit the earth or die..
It makes sense, Faller, but the reality is for most people once that line is crossed it hard to go back.
It seems like you want to go back with her.
If not just ask her to stay away for a while and avoid her, get a lawyer, split your stuff, move on and maybe in the future you can have an amicable relationship.
If you want to go back:
go to a public neutral place and talk. no yielding, no screaming talk like adults should do and ask her what happened.
what is her take?
What does she want?
How does she want it?
Walk away and think with a clear head and then decide if it is worth trying once more.
Maybe monogamy is not what would work for you guys (negotiate your terms)
Maybe you will never be able to trust her again
Too many maybes think about what you want, how you want it, ask what her take is, what type of relationship she wants with you ask her a week to think and them make up your mind.
Don't rush into anything that you would regret in the future.
I don't really trust her. I caught her once sending nasty text messages (long ago), cyber sexing some loser on facebook (who lives in europe) but she tried to lie to me about going to a movie with a friend and she was actually going with a boy. I am really unclear if she did anything other than live in some really offensive, untrusting fantasy world. I told her she could live in the house because its half hers but she gives up her cell phone and takes over the finances of the house (which might sound backwards but she is resentful that she can't buy anything she wants because she has no idea what bills we actually have and when they come out).
We discussed councilling but I am stubborn and can't see why I'd need to go, she has issues she needs to fix before I start making deals.
Bad communication
lack of trust
immaturity
what else?
What do you mean "what else?"
You said you can't see why you would have to go,maybe the counselor could see something?