My days of training may be over - FAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKK

[Hosehead]

So i found out last week that I may have permanent nerve damage to my long thoracic nerve. If it isn't completely severed then it's at least badly damaged. I have no right lat at all , it's gone. Had an EMG last week and there is zero action in the lat when stimulated. The serratus anterior is not firing and subsequently I have a winged right scapula. I can barely raise my arm above my head but I have not experienced any pain, which is fairly common. Because I am rehabing my left elbow/tricep I don't know how weak my right side is. Typically there should be weakness in the affected side but when I was doing bent rows the other day I was just as strong on both sides with 225lbs. Felt a little off as I couldn't get a pump but strong enough to move the bar. I have a feeling all my pushing moves will go by the wayside-perhaps forever. Prior to this happening I was in the best shape of my life !The literature is not making me very optimistic about recovering from this. If the nerve is still somewhat intact it can heal at a rate of one inch a month. Or I'm totally ****ed. Legs are still gtg and perhaps I can do some arms work at some point. Add to this that I am going through a divorce and rarely see my 18 month old.
I've been having suicidal thoughts for months now so my doctor put me on an anti anxiety and an antidepressant. The gym has always been the one thing in my life that has kept me going through the tough times - and I've had a gun in my mouth before. I'd never do that to my son but it's a miserable ****ing time.
I am pretty sure that the injury occurred from my wife walking on the back. I was too lazy to go to the chiro and thought she could pop my upper back . She is about 170lbs and was grinding the balls of her feet into my shoulder blades. Then I got a deep tissue massage a few days later and apparently if its aggressive enough you can damage the LTN. This nerve is susceptible to injury because of it's length and location. There probably isn't any point in rehab because there is no rehab for this degree of nerve damage except rest. I ain't good at that but I won't be doing any compression exercises for a long long time. I am not a spiritual dude but I am looking for a ****ing miracle. I've done a lot of shitty things in my life and I wonder if I simply had it coming to me. Might have to take up biking or swimming instead.
Life sucks but I have a beautiful little boy. It could be much worse.

End of rant.

[Primal]

Jesus man... sorry to hear about your wife.. that's rough. Keep hanging in there though, you've still got a lot to live for man. How will you kid feel growing up without a dad? What if your wife gets another guy and he's the only thing to a father he has? I'm not trying to pry into your life, but that would be hard for your boy... picture it in his shoes. He grows up not even having any memory of his biological father only what his mother tells him and maybe a few pictures. What about parent teacher conferences or seeing him grow up? What about seeing him graduate from elementary school and then high school or getting his license? All of that is so, so important and that's cruel to him for not giving him an opportunity to even to meet you. My mother died right before I turned 17, my dad was in another province at the time and came back for the funeral and that was it. I didn't have any family there when I graduated from my high school, and I lived with my friends parents and him in the last year of high school. I didn't have any family that attended when I graduated at convocation or at my prom. I didn't have any family when I got my license or when I got accepted into university. This isn't meant to be a sob story, all I'm saying is it's f****ing hard losing a parent. And I'm lucky enough I got to spend my childhood and my early teen years with my mother... I couldn't even imagine growing up not even having a memory of my biological parent and constantly wondering what he was like, what his opinions were on matters, how he'd think of all that'd I'd accomplished etc.

Maybe I'm being too invasive and upfront, I have no idea what it's like to be married and have my spouse walk out on me, I don't know what it's like to have an injury that prevented me from training and I'm not trying to take away from that. That is some hard shit to take.. but you've got to keep looking up man, especially for your son. He needs you know and more than ever later on in the coming years. Just my opinion on the matter,take it how you want.

I doubt your lifting days are over my friend, if paraplegic people can do bodybuilding, so can you. You just need to work around the injury! Like I said before, I'm not a doctor but I've taken a fair share of anatomy and physiology on this stuff (training for athletic therapy, 2nd year kinesiology). To be honest, your wife standing on you is a pretty good bet of what did you in, think about it, 170lbs + the force of gravity on your spine in a small area of contact (your wife's feet) loaded onto your spine in a way that it's not even supposed to handle that much force... Even with a thick back that is a lot of weight on the spine in the wrong direction. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to tell if the nerve is severed or just damaged until a few months in, this is when it'll start healing if it does. Anything requiring an overhead movement I would avoid in general, just in case. If I had winged scapula I wouldn't be doing swimming personally, bringing my hands above my head and stretching from my lat up to my arm seems like a surefire way to damage it even more if possible. I know you probably don't want to hear this but taking it easy and not lifting for a few months may be the best bet, just to be safe. It frigging sucks but think about it, if your nerve is only damaged and can heal, why run the risk of damaging it or severing it permanently and losing the ability to workout properly ever again just because you were too eager to get back into training? Also, another story I picked up: A person I knew got really drunk one night and fell asleep backwards in a chair. He had his arm slumped over the chair and onto a table and his whole body was leaning onto the chair. When he awoke the next morning, he couldn't feel his arm and it turned out he had badly damaged his LTN too. So be careful of that (not saying you're going to get drunk and damage your LTN even more, just watch where your arm down and in what position)... also apparently sleeping on it the wrong way can also really damage it too. Try sleeping on your back with your arms at the side. Once again, not a doctor of any kind, I just listen a lot in class...

Hope this helps, hang in there man!

-Primal

[Hosehead]

Thanks for the advice dude. That is terrible what you had to endure. I would never off myself dude , even if I didn't have a son. I work is a federal pen and we guards talk like that. It's the nature of the gig. I am taking your advuce and I will drop any stretching or compression exercises. Swimming is bad - good call. I will train legs and ride the bike , some abs and maybe some arms . I'd like to be able to do flat bench or flyes but that is probably a bad idea too. I had the EMG three months from the injury and there was no activation of the serratus anterior or lat. I go back for another in two months which will bring it to five months. if there is no life in the lat or serratus at that time then it's likely severed and I'm done. Generally the best scenario is three months and you are GTG and the other end of the scale is 9 months on average. If it is severe damage then you are looking at two years. Anything beyond that requires surgery and no one ever returns to their sport. Looks like golf and biking for me if the snow ever melts lol . Thanks again dude. BTW- would you reccomend chiropractic at all ?

[Primal]

No worries man! Just lookin' out for a fellow lifter! Damn, being a pen guard would be rough, props to you on that job, I could never do that.. Yes, best to take lifting off till the next EMG just to be safe and give yourself the best chance. Let's hope that it's only some minor damage and you can recover quickly but we will have to see. I know you want to get back into it quick again but recovery is definitely the most important thing on the plate right here so just try to remember that. If it is damaged, not only will it affect your training but your life outside of it as well, like reaching for high up places and sitting correctly and other things.. so a lot could potentially be on the line here. I think you will be OK though man, just keep looking up!

To be completely honest, I don't have much information on the topic so I can't give a good answer. I know a few people that go to a chiropractor for alignment issues and they say that it helps them greatly. On the other side however, I see the motions that they do and to be frank, it looks scary as hell. Just go and YouTube some stuff and you will see what I mean. One motion they do is take your neck with both hands and yank it to the side very violently and your neck makes a huge cracking sound. The people come out fine, they actually report feeling better and more loose but still... I would think there is a lot of potential for injury in this field. So I am undecided... I would ask some of the bigger guys on here like Prae or Steve, they have a lot more experience than me and have possibly tried it once or twice.

Stay strong man!

-Primal

[Want2lift]

I use a chiro and love it. That being said I have been to several chiro's before I found my current one and was always unimpressed. If you don't leave the chiro feeling better then when u came in, what's the point? My chiro has helped me out big time and I love going to see him.

[Hosehead]

No worries man! Just lookin' out for a fellow lifter! Damn, being a pen guard would be rough, props to you on that job, I could never do that.. Yes, best to take lifting off till the next EMG just to be safe and give yourself the best chance. Let's hope that it's only some minor damage and you can recover quickly but we will have to see. I know you want to get back into it quick again but recovery is definitely the most important thing on the plate right here so just try to remember that. If it is damaged, not only will it affect your training but your life outside of it as well, like reaching for high up places and sitting correctly and other things.. so a lot could potentially be on the line here. I think you will be OK though man, just keep looking up!

To be completely honest, I don't have much information on the topic so I can't give a good answer. I know a few people that go to a chiropractor for alignment issues and they say that it helps them greatly. On the other side however, I see the motions that they do and to be frank, it looks scary as hell. Just go and YouTube some stuff and you will see what I mean. One motion they do is take your neck with both hands and yank it to the side very violently and your neck makes a huge cracking sound. The people come out fine, they actually report feeling better and more loose but still... I would think there is a lot of potential for injury in this field. So I am undecided... I would ask some of the bigger guys on here like Prae or Steve, they have a lot more experience than me and have possibly tried it once or twice.

Stay strong man!

-Primal

I've been going to a chiro for about 15 years off and on and he's great for neck adjustments and alignments . He fixed my herniated disc 15 years ago. Unfortunately , I think this current injury just needs rest. All those years of neck adjustments (which feel great) might be a contributing factor but after all the squats , deads , presses etc it's hard to determine exactly what caused this. I do have three degenerating discs in my upper back , which could be the cause, but I would have figured there'd be some symptoms leading up to the paralysis. I think it was the wife followed by the massage.
Being a pen guard is the easiest gig I've ever had . I make 80k without a lick of OT and some of my co-workers make well over 100K a year. Cons aren't like they used to be. Before this injury there wasn't a con in the place that was my size , not that it makes me a tough guy. There are a few that can still use their fists. We had a con who finished second in the second UFC ever. This dude was ****ing scary. Good thing he liked me.
I was a cop for a little over three years. THAT is a tough gig. Those people are underpaid. I am overpaid but I'm not complaining.
Thanks for the advice dude.

[Primal]

Oh, you've been going to the chiro before I see. Whatever the cause, I'm sure the wife incident didn't help it any. Just take it easy man! This will sort itself out soon enough.

Wow... you guys make good money! I couldn't do a pen gig OR be a cop, I don't know why but I am very soft-hearted which is weird because when I train I turn into an animal (hence the username Primal). Grunts, saliva, sweat, you name it; But afterwards I'm down to chill and talk about life till 3 in the morning.. All the fights I have been in never resulted in a punch thrown ever. If they get too rough I just push them really hard and they always back down, which is good I guess. I'd be terrible at a pen, the convicts would see my weakness, I'd imagine you gotta have a tough demeanor to work around guys like that. I remember when I was young and my dad would always tell me stories about the cons in the Kingston pen...we had a few famous names if I recall. Still got to go back and check it out, it's a museum now I think.

-Primal

[Hosehead]

Oh, you've been going to the chiro before I see. Whatever the cause, I'm sure the wife incident didn't help it any. Just take it easy man! This will sort itself out soon enough.

Wow... you guys make good money! I couldn't do a pen gig OR be a cop, I don't know why but I am very soft-hearted which is weird because when I train I turn into an animal (hence the username Primal). Grunts, saliva, sweat, you name it; But afterwards I'm down to chill and talk about life till 3 in the morning.. All the fights I have been in never resulted in a punch thrown ever. If they get too rough I just push them really hard and they always back down, which is good I guess. I'd be terrible at a pen, the convicts would see my weakness, I'd imagine you gotta have a tough demeanor to work around guys like that. I remember when I was young and my dad would always tell me stories about the cons in the Kingston pen...we had a few famous names if I recall. Still got to go back and check it out, it's a museum now I think.

-Primal

Most guards are ****ing useless aka female officers. Same goes with female cops. There are no longer any physical standards for guards and half of the kids who come in now are fat and lazy. Most of the cons who were at KP are now where I am - the only max in Ontario. It's fast becoming a PC pen because they are shipping all the gang bangers elsewhere. It's basically KP West (meaning we are west of Kingston)It's better being a guard who can't fight and doesn't have the instinct because there are cameras everywhere now. IMO its a good thing overall but it allows the punk cons to chirp at you when they know they wouldn't stand a chance. Most of these idiots use guns or knives - not their fists. They don't have a tough bone in their body. Few do. They rarely have anything to say to me. I don't put up with anything and I don't give them a hard time. I clock in and clock out.
Anyone can be a guard and it doesn't take much effort to be a good one.Being a police officer , on the other hand , requires an ordinary person to do extraordinary things. It's very rewarding and very difficult , especially nowadays. There are terrible people doing a terrible job , but you can say that about doctors , teachers , lawyers, ROOFERS . etc . I found that 75% of all cops do a great job. Anyone can hand out shit tickets to a child molester. Few people can sit down and interview the child that that creep molested. That shit stays with you forever.

[Primal]

I have never had an encounter with a female cop before, but I suppose it is good to have diversity in the police force and other areas of society as well. While I don't know of the physical standards of the police nowadays, I do have to admit that I've seen plenty of cruisers in front of a Timmies every time I drive by in the mornings... I guess some stereotypes exist for a reason. But I don't really understand why people have such a distaste/disgust for the police force in general. I know that if we didn't have as strong of a police presence in my city the crime and murder rates would be much higher than they are now.

I used to know a police officer who lived down the block from me at one of my old houses. Rumor was around the street at that time that he was getting a divorce from his wife after a few years of marriage and they had a small 2 year old already. He came in to speak at our elementary school for a class assembly one day. He finished talking about his presentation on drugs when a kid asked him a question of what it was like being a cop. I'll never forget what the guy said; "Being a cop is a very important and responsible job, yes you do get to carry a gun and yes we do get to drive around in 'cool' cars but it is a very, very hard life. Police officers deal with the meanest and most dangerous people on the Earth and it is very hard to deal with that on a day to day basis and live a normal life with normal, happy people and not allow your job from taking over into that as well." I can only imagine how hard it would be to have a family and then go to a job everyday that deals with people like that.

Why'd you stop being a cop? Too hard or not paid enough for the job or both? I find it funny that we totally deviated from the original topic of this thread but whatever, it's cool to talk about this stuff.

-Primal

[Hosehead]

I spent 8 years in civil court suing them for wrongful dismissal. Short career , long story lol. I'd still be there if I could but I took a settlement instead. Hard to go back when you've sued them. They probably would have set me up at some point.
Cops get tonnes of pussy. I cleaned up lol. I miss the job but I miss the pussy more.