My wife has breast cancer

We are at an extremely low point in our lives. My wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer in November and has now undergone a double mastectomy with reconstruction. We had been led to believe by the first surgeon / specialist, that it was likely only a very small tumor, 1.5 cm and that no lymph node involvement was likely. He recommend a lumpectomy and that he would test the sentinal nodes at that time. My wife wanted a mastectomy, double in fact, as this tumor is exactly where over 2 years ago the mamogram had found a suspicious lump. At that time a stereotopic biopsy was ordered, and after a long wait to get in, they refused to do the biopsy on the basis it was too close to the nipple, and that using ultrasound, they could rule out cancer. Well, it was cancer, and now it has spread.

To get the mastectomy, we had to go see another specialist. She biopsied the axillary lymph nodes and found the spread and agreed to perform the double mastectomy.

We just got back from the meeting with the Doctor today to go over the pathalogy report. The tumor was 3.8 cm in size with satellite nodules 0.2 to 0.4 cm in surrounding tissue and dermis of the nipple.

The biggest shocker was the lymph nodes. 6 of 17 tested positive. This puts her in a dangerous category of probably stage 3 with a significantly increased mortality. The AJCC stage is pT2 pN2 and pMx. Its the lymph nodes and number of them that really makes this bad.

We had just started to feel a bit better after the surgery, and knowing that the tumor was ER, PR positive, which makes treatment with tamoxifen and or an aromatase inhibitor effective. My wife is 45 and not menopausal, so the ER PR positive was less likely, but will present some challenges.

If I could pass any lesson on here, it is that you should not accept any advice to not biopsy a suspicious lump or mamogram mark. My wife cried, begged and pleaded for the biopsy, but they wouldn't do it and rule out the risk. A subsequent and recent mammogram even showed the suspicious spot had shrunk. Her Doctor didn't find the lump, I did. Early detection is key they say, but their methodology of relying on mammograms and playing the odds puts the individual at significant risk. Had we caught this 2-3 years ago, my wife's odds of beating it would be near 100%. Now, I am afraid its down around the 50/50 mark.

To make things worse, right around the time my wife was diagnosed, her mother passed away. We were glad we didn't tell her mom because we would have blamed her death on the news.

My wife is a fighter, and I know she will do everything she can to survive. What will kill me is to see her pain and suffering. That's the part I really can't take.

BB

I am sorry to hear about the pain you are both going through right now. You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so sorry Bigben. I have a friend with it, she has 3 kids and one is only a one year old baby. She had the double mastectomy in Nov too is going through the same things she was recently featured on Canadian Tv. She was breastfeeding this fall and called me often saying she had a plugged milk duct..or the Dr said it was. I told her the treatment for them and it wouldn't go away. Just like your wife she begged for the biopsy.

She can contact me on facebook, I'll send her my to my friends facebook blog.

I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

wow bb i don't know what to say I'm very sorry to hear this your wife and you will be in my prayers.

my GF's mom has cancer and she has put up a fight and has it basically beat..... stay positive, best of luck, she'll need you now more than ever

I';m not a religious person in the least but you and your wife will be in my prayers. Remember... nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight.

My thoughts and prayers are with your wife, your family and yourself bro. Even though this is a very tough time, please try your best to stay positive. Positive thoughts and attitudes can heal bro.

BB, i was just thinking about you yesterday and how i miss your intelligent and well thought out posts....I was actually going to make a thread asking where you were....I am so sorry to hear of what has transpired in your lives....I know you are a good man and all you can do for right now is support her in her most needing time...Please take care and i hope the absolute best for a positive outcome on this...You have friends here, as im sure you have many at home as well...Anytime bro, you have my ear...

****! I knew this was coming from your previous thread.

I send my whole families thoughts and prayers to you guys. Remember to be strong Ben as your wife will look to you. This can be beat, stay positive.

ya..keep strong bro.

Big Ben, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Stay strong, your wife will need your help now more than ever...

Sorry to hear this bad news bro.

Hang in there.

thoughts and prayers.

Thoughts are with you bro. *hugs*

My thoughts are with you bro,
this can be beat my mom is a survivor of 7 years. Stay positive.

My prayer for you and your familly.

Sorry to read this,very sorry,

BB people beat cancer every day now and your wife will just have to join the club!!!
my thoughts & prayers are with you
stay strong

It's good that she's a fighter. If you're both able to stay strong, hopefully it'll help through the next little while. Obviously, keeping you both in mind and definitely in prayer. If anything can be taken away from this, hopefully it's that you caught it with time to be able to put up the fight you'll both need to. Stay strong bigben (and your mrs. too).

I'm so sorry man.

Bigben your Nexus and CBB friends are behind you and your fam. My wife does the 60km walk for Breast Cancer the last 5 years and it is truely inspirational when you see the thousands of survivors come through at the end. It just goes to show you that this disease can be beat.

Try to keep strong. I will pray for you and your family.

stay positive bro and try as hard as you can to help your wife stay positive. the body has a mysterious way of healing itself.

Wow very sorry to hear this BB. Stay strong bro, my thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

One step at a time buddy. I really hope everything turns out ok.

bb, you are definately a solid bro and have always given great advice to all. i was actually wondering for a couple months that i havent seen you around much. my thoughts are with you and your family.

Not much to say other than to reiterate what everyone else is saying. Keep your chin up man and stay positive.

Everyone is thinking of you and your family. Keep us updated, may help to chat about it.

Stay strong BB, my sister-in-law beat stage 3 breast cancer about two years ago and it has not come back. They caught it before a mastectomy was necessary but hearing the shit that those doctors put your wife through and how far it went is just sickening.

Stay strong together! So sorry to hear of your wifes illness.

Best of luck to you both here bud. Good to hear you are being a rock for her, she needs you now.

Again buddy, take care of both of you, good luck and dont hesitate to lean on the forum anytime you need it

New to the forum and just read this. I hope all is well. LORD willing your wife will get better.

Stay strong together
i'm very sorry to hear that

Yeah, that's terrible bro.. Stay strong.. Too bad doctors think they know it all... They took 1yr to biopsy my mom because her symptoms were not normal (either was pain or none.. Whatever one is the opposite of a pos cancer)

Low and behold, partial masectomy, lymph node removal ect ect, she lasted 15 yrs... She HAS To STAY POSITIVE!!.. That is the key I believe

Phats

I hope all is going well, my wife is also a survivor, you must stay positive.
God speed

My mom is a 10 year survivor and counting. I hope she pulls through bro.

My mother in-law is a survivor as well. I haven't seen Bigben on CBB in a while, hope all is is good bro.

My wife had a lump that put a huge scare into us just recently. My mom had a lump removed about 10yrs ago. I hope for the best for your wife. Keep fighting. thoughts and prayers from this household to yours.

Hey guys. Thanks for the kind words. I'll bring you up to date. My wife's diagnosis was around 14 months ago. She's undergone a double mastectomy with reconstruction, a nasty 6 rounds of chemo, rads, and is now on tamoxifen and a clinical trial of zolodronic acid to prevent recurrance. She's doing well and slowly rebuilding her life and energy. So far, so good, no signs of recurrance. She has to live her life to the fullest, and one day at a time. From what I've read, recurrance (which is incurable) could happen pretty much at any time, but the further you are out from initial diagnosis, the better your odds. We are staying positive, and she's doing everything she can to win this battle. The thing I'll leave you all with is to never simply accept the advice of your Doctors. If your wife or GF has some abnormality, push for a biopsy. Ultrasounds and mamograms can be false negatives. The system plays the odds, and the younger you are, the more chances they take because they believe you are less likely to have cancer at a young age. But the other side of the coin is, women who get breast cancer young, are much less likely to survive. Vigilence is about your only weapon. Don't be the one that falls through the cracks.

Glad to hear she's doing well. Which meds did they put her on if you don't mind my asking? Nolva, armidex or letro? I think letro would be the one but they may have bumped it up to aromasin in the recent years.

She was pre-menopausal, and the last cycle of chemo, docetaxol, has put her into chemopause. Whether that's permanent or not, remains to be seen. Out of caution, for a pre-menopausal woman, they start her on tamoxifen (nolvadex). She may stay on it for a couple of years, then switch to an aromatase inhibitor. It will depend on the latest evidence at that time. At this point in time, they say starting on tamoxifen and switching to an AI at 2 years has the same survival value. As well, unless she's had an oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) they don't trust an AI because she might start producing estrogen again via her ovaries. So initially they treat you as if you are still pre-menopausal. As well, tamoxifen is much more tolerable than the AI for most women. My wife is doing fine on the tamoxifen in terms of sides. On an AI many women get joint problems, carpal tunnel syndrome and osteoporosis. The survival advantage for AI over tamoxifen is yet to be proven. It does show less recurrance at 5 years, but they need more data. Another factor in tamoxifen / nolva is cyp2d6 status. That's a gene encoding the enzyme that metabolizes tamoxifen into endoxifen, its more active form. Lacking cyp2d6, or being what they call a poor metabolizer, you do considerably worse on tamoxifen. My wife test out as an intermediate metabolizer. Had to go to the states to get that tested. Even that test is contoversial. Much of cancer treatment is grey areas and debate.