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Does there come a point in life when you suddenly feel ready to settle down, like you no longer want/need to sleep with other girls? Or do you always wish you could sleep with other girls but you just force yourself not to because your in a relationship?
I have met many nice women who would make perfect long term gfs/wives but even though they are amazing I still cant seem to find it in myself to stop the need to be with other people. Have I just not met the right chick yet?
FK NO, it like an addiction and I need a intervention (when I'm dead) :p
nope
yes
maybe
hope that helps
It may be an insecurity in yourself that drives you to seek out new conquests. I still look but realize the fleeting pleasure is not worth hurting the one I love nor jepordizing my relationship with her.
Though some may not respect the source, the Bible, this wisdom is timeless.....
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became a man, I set aside childish ways.
I cant speak for you but I never put much thought into settling down until I met my ex. We were together for 2 years but after the first month I knew she was it.
For the first time I could see myself having kids even, just because I could tell she would be the best mom in the world. She made me feel like I could do anything, and it motivated me to step up and really get my career going. Well I have a bit of tunnel vision, and I really put "us" aside to get the career going and thats one of the major reasons she broke up with me.
But the good news is I now know that I'm capable of that type of feeling and commitement, and for once I honestly know what Im looking for, I mean the bar has been set.
And sure I've thought about screwing other girls while me and her were together, but after the short fantasy plays out in my head I realize theres no way they could make me feel the way she made me feel. I wouldn't risk it for the world.
So maybe I'm wondering, maybe you did meet girls that would make great long term gfs based on personlity, loyalty and even physical attraction.
But maybe they just don't make you feel like you don't need anyone else, and i'm just speaking from myself, but I did experience that feeling and it really changes you.
I'm at that age where all my friends are getting married or engaged, and I'll take until the end of time and risk being singlet o find someone that makes me feel that way again.
Why? Because if I'm single only I suffer, and its worth suffering to find that kind of love again. But if I settle with a "good" enough, I could quite possible make the other person suffer too, and thats just not right.
might not happen overnight, but yes, there comes a time when you would rather be with 1 awesome person. Could be when your 20, 25, or 40 or never. differs for everyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by BBbox
I feel you totally on this. I was always a dog, more so worse when on.
Four years later, after meeting a great lady, and still, even when the opportunity was there.... nope.
Maybe for some, but I believe if you do find "the right one" (corny maybe) that feeling will be within control. I still "dream" but never in a million years, even when presented, would act.
Your brain has millions of thoughts a day, you can't control that. It's going to happen in your mind.. and that's natural.
As a non-believer before. Yes, it's possible.
Monogamy is not the only way and not everybody is wired to be monogamous.
Find a woman this wired for non monogamy and you both will have sex and love without having to cheat.
If you change let her know and see what happens.
Found a great girl during the summer. I havent done anything with any other girl since getting with her, and I have no intentions of doing so. We have just moved in with each other also. I never thought that I would get like this, but stuff happens.
^^ woah huge change for you isnt it- I remember a thread you made about being "biologically destined to be alone- always on the booty train". Congrats of finding that girl!
I thought you and #8 would end up as the charlie sheens of the board, just sleeping around forever. I always felt better about my behaviour knowing one of you was out there cheating on their gfs with a stripper. At least I can still depend on #8. Although his lack of diabolical relationship screwup posts has me wondering lately. *sigh*
I think you always have the "desire" to sleep with other girls...but, at some point...at least for most of us, the risk of losing what you have outweighs the fun of "new."
It will probably hit you like a sack of shit one day, and you realize that sleeping around isnt as fun as it once was. And you just dont feel good doing it. I am sure we have all been there at one point or another. It takes a lot of maturity to be in a serious long term relationship.. and if your not ready.. your not ready. Simple as that.
Im not married yet.. but been with my girl for quite some time.. And i couldn't ever imagine byself being single again..
settling down or just settling, i dont see hugh heffnar settling down lol
^that's because he hasn't met anyone like my wife.
apparently he`s engaged...Quote:
Originally Posted by JacktheThriller
America's No. 1 bachelor, Hugh Hefner, has finally found a woman he wants to settle down with. Hugh, 84, gave his girlfriend Crystal Harris, 24, an engagement ring for Christmas.
^^ that is such bullshit though. After hes banged hundreds of playmates he ready to settle down? give me a break. hes still gonna be banging other girls on the side till hes dead.
Interesting thread :)
This is my 2 cents,
I understand what the men in monogomous relationships are saying. I read what one person said who was being completely honest or at least self aware enough to be honest on this subject I believe.
We're animals. We're programmed to "spread our seed" and "survival of the fittest" so to speak. Men are predisposed to "cheat." We just at some point accept that the risk/reward is not there anymore an then try our best to stick to it for life! This is based on our belief system which is so ingrained in our culture due to religion. We've created this world. We're our own worst enemies!
I'm not calling anyone a liar who says they don't want to cheat I'm just saying they've accepted monogomy for fear of losing the girl they love if they "cheat."
If our society was not set up the way it is or if that persons wife/girlfiend gave them the green light they would. Men who say they wouldn't are lying because their smart enough to know when to lie.lol
Like another person alluded to some are in committed relationships without being monogomous. That works for them and is rigorously honest.
For myself personally, I could never share my girl with another man. I'm extremely territorial like that. Thats literally how people get killed in crimes of passion. I think that is innate as well. We want to protect our woman. Thats a "no fly zone" for any other man.
I'm a complete hypocrite however. :) I would love to have a heirom.lol Its never going to happen though.lol I don't cheat.
This part some might find controversial but here are the cards I've been dealt :
My girlfriend is bisexual. She considers it cheating if I am not there if she is with another woman. When she told me that it was like winning the lottery. We've only been going out for a short time so it is not anything I'm interested in pursuing until I've fallen in love with her but its comforting to know that the option is there in the years to come if we decide to spend our lives together.
I've always had very strong morals and have had to redefined them somewhat in my mind but yet to act on them.
Cheating is not acceptable ever. You don't do that to someone you care about.
Its a rock and a hard place for some.
He HAS settled down. He's only with 7 different girls! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by JacktheThriller
lol you would know... based on your experiences with girls im guessing your planning on becoming the next hugh ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by #8