subject of Colonoscopies

[physique]

Colonoscopies
> are no joke, but these comments during the exam were
> quite humorous.... . A
> physician claimed that the following are actual comments
> made by his patients
> (predominately male) while he was performing their
> colonoscopies:
>
>
>
> 1. 'Take
> it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has
> gone before!
>
>
>
> 2..
> 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
>
>
>
> 3. 'Can
> you hear me NOW ?'
>
>
>
> 4. 'Are
> we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
> yet?'
>
>
>
> 5. 'You
> know, in Arkansas ,
> we're now legally
> married.'
>
>
>
> 6. 'Any
> sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
>
>
>
> 7. 'You
> put your left hand in, you take your left hand
> out...'
>
>
>
> 8..
> 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
>
>
>
> 9. 'If
> your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
>
>
>
> 10. 'Hey
> Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
>
>
>
> 11. 'You
> used to be an executive at Enron, didn't
> you?'
>
>
>
> 12.
> 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
>
>
>
> And
> the best one of all.
>
>
>
> 13.
> 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that
> my head is not up
> there?'

[Mr Ontario]

I guess number #1 doesn't apply to you :)

[turboturist]

When I went in to get my hands operated on a few years back, the nurse asked if I minded if they played music and she started playing Brian Adams Cuts Like a Knife, was funny as hell.

Not the same thing but still funny.

[Richter]

When I was going under the knife to get an aromioplasty done, just before I was given the lights out gas, I asked the cute nurse if things... "stood at attention" when your under. She said no, not to worry. So she put the mask on me and said start counting down from 10. So I did. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6.. and just as I was getting to 5 and almost out, she leans over and whispers in my ear... " I was just kidding about not getting a boner!". By then it was too late, I was out.

[the-vanilla-gorilla]

i had one done a few months ago they put me out for about an hour
they said i was giving my dog shit the whole time i was out!



TVG

[kloan]

^^lol, you and your dog need to work out these issues... see a counselor or pet psychic... :D