Long term relationship's ending

[Dozer1980]

hey bros been a real bad weekend me and my engaged girl of 8 years are calling it quits having a bit of a hard time with it as we have a 7 year old son and i dont want to be a typical weekend dad any sugestions? man this is killing me stress level through the roof! havent been to the gym all week thanks for any advice bros, im a little down right now sorry for the lame post but not sure were else to chat, anyhow cheers to all
Dozer

[macka]

Dozer,

That sucks bro, see if you can get joint custody, one week with you, one week with the ex.

[Dozer1980]

yea that would be the best possible situation for me would actually like to keep it out of court if possible but my boy is the most important right now thx for the reply mac

[gicantor]

That sucks bro, keep yer head up. Things will work out.

[Gib]

Not sure what your situation is, but if you and the ex can live close enough that the kid can walk to either house it make it a ton easier for all of you guys to keep visitations simple, and you each can see the lil guy without too much hassle in planning...

Are you and her on good terms still?

[waderow]

sounds like you dont really want it to end.... did you guys discuss counseling?

[canadianmuscle0803]

keep your head up and pray.

[spitfire]

There is no easy way to handle it emotionally. It's time that lets you adjust to the insecurities, fears, sadness, loneliness etc. Then you may meet someone else and she can be the cure. If you still love her and want to save it, she should know it. Don't let your pride give you regrets in the future. Good luck man.

[8heyzeus4]

There is no easy way to handle it emotionally. It's time that lets you adjust to the insecurities, fears, sadness, loneliness etc. Then you may meet someone else and she can be the cure. If you still love her and want to save it, she should know it. Don't let your pride give you regrets in the future. Good luck man.

Big x2 on that

[BritishColumbian]

Hey Bro, Sorry to hear about the shit you are going through, when I get into a situation like this I have to stop and remind myself that things could always be worse, and to be thankfull for what I do have. It must be tuff when kids are involved but things will get better, and look at it this way, you are on the start of a new adventure in life and who knows where it will take you. Hang in there ~ BC

[turboturist]

yea that would be the best possible situation for me would actually like to keep it out of court if possible but my boy is the most important right now thx for the reply mac

If you two are still on amicable terms and agree on evey thing then you dont need to go to court as far as I know. Go to a lawyer and get it wrote up the way you both want it if you agree on everything. Joint custody/guardianship week/week what ever you want if she is an agreement it is easy.

And sorry to hear the news bro.

[talon05]

ya bro it is called week about and the canadian court are really going that way i know a ton of guys in my profession who have it...As long as you can swing it i know when my wife and i split for abit i had it and it was great mind you didnt last long as we got back togather with the help pf marriage counsling and me keeping my ass out of the bars

[Mr Ontario]

Try to stay positive bro. :)

[Gettin'r'round]

Is it really over? Unless there was an affair or something real bad things can get worked out bro. We went through a rough patch but we worked things out and our relationship is better than before. I really feel for your son and sorry to tell you this, this will **** him up large. During our blowup (the wife blows up, I never get mad, even on tren) it was our son's birthday party with his school friends and she went alone with him, I drove behind. Anyway a year after my wife asks him what his worst experience ever and he replied "when you and daddy fought and yelled".

You have to make this work bro.

[Born2Juice4Ever]

sounds like you dont really want it to end.... did you guys discuss counseling?


You're on target on this one too bro.


Dozer :( WOW!!! So much time invested, so much emotional attachement.

Here we are sitting on the site, reading what has two sides to the story.

Breaking up is never ever easy, the truth is that, we often act tough, and we often act on the defensive.
....the emotional roller coaster a person undergoes is tremendous..you can't eat, you can't sleep, you ask yourself so many questions, blame the other, anger sets in and make the world an uglier place to be at.

The 7 year old little boy must be very confused at the moment...it is unfortunate that the little boy has to see all of these.

I do not know the extent of the situation, don't know if negotiations have taken place.....if this CAN be fixed...or for the unfortunate if things can't be fixed.

Need more info.

Is this money related? trust related? Fell out of love? bad sex? Is there somebody else in the picture?


We seem to be fastforwarding here fellas....all this court talk, so fast, moving out, moving in....easy now....IMO we need to pin poin the issue, and find a soluble solution to it all...one that will benefit the little guy and make the adults happy---


Talk to us bro.....it will help!!


B2J

[Dozer1980]

no its not another woman at this point we have evolved over the course of our relationship to two totally different people and the sex has been bad for a long time nothing to do with money, as of now we are still on ok terms and i hope it will continue this way we had tried consoling in the past and only last a few months then goes right back to us arguing all the time we dont fight in front of my son at all and only discuss things when he is asleep. We have talked to him and told him if we get two seperate houses that it is because me and her are just friends now and that it has nothing to do with him just that we are happier when we are apart, im trying to find a place close to home so i can see him all the time hopefully this will be over soon im way to young to be unhappy for the next 30 years and she thinks this as well. We hope that our son will be happier as well when we arent under tension all the time thx for the help guys it does take a load off to come here and get some good views cheers.
dozer

[waderow]

well sounds like you guys are handling this very maturely and if thats what you both want, you guys should be alright. Sucks, but hey...sometimes things dont work out.

[Bowlcut]

Have you been in the gym of late?
Sometimes the iron can be a good escape and let you blow of some stress.

[Dozer1980]

no been too stressed out to hit the gym will be going back hard this week to blow off some stress otherwise ill be a pissed off dude soon with no sex in a long time the gym helps with that side of things it seems.

[8heyzeus4]

The gym has helped me through some tuff emotional relationship issues, although to be fair nothing like what you must be experiencing. I truly believe that physical fitness and mental health are interconnected. When you feel good about your body and health mountains turn into molehills. I know what your going through isn't exactly a molehill, but go grip that iron and give it time, I promise you you will come out a better man from this experience.

[Born2Juice4Ever]

The gym has helped me through some tuff emotional relationship issues, although to be fair nothing like what you must be experiencing. I truly believe that physical fitness and mental health are interconnected. When you feel good about your body and health mountains turn into molehills. I know what your going through isn't exactly a molehill, but go grip that iron and give it time, I promise you you will come out a better man from this experience.


I agree on the emotional connection between the physical aspect and the mental aspect of things in relevance to self steem and so one.

I will say that when I am encoutering relationship issues, I cannot lift a single pound :( I become weak and fragile :D :D
The only help and the only thing that heals, and distorts the pain away is juice.
Over the years I have used gear to help as a protecting blanket from personal issues.

Drugs are not the solution, I am not saying that.....it's my solution.


B2J

[Dozer1980]

yea for now im concentrating on hitting 200 so close 195 now and keeping my realationship with my son intact thank you for all your help guys i really needed to chat about this.
Dozer

[manfreakca]

i was engaged to a woman for 4 years she had a lazy ass 19 old son who just stayed home and ate!!and on top of that argue with his mom to constantly!i said to myself i cant marry a woman who has a lazy ass son like this at home!!dnt wanna wrk play sports or go to school!!so i stoped seein her on weekends for about 6 months,so nothin changed and i finally gave up seein her!!now i am engaed to a fantastic woman!

[Beachmuscle]

No matter how amicable she is now, DO NOT give up custody of your Son. Make sure you get joint custody.

Sorry to hear things aren't working out... but you need to protect yourself and your Son.

[Dozer1980]

thx beach

[SmallieBigs]

Very sorry to hear about what's going on with ya Dozer. That's a really tough time, after so long together and with a kid to boot. Like Beach said, take care of your parental rights and keep your bond strong 1st and foremost. Keep yourself strong, we're all here when you need to get something off your chest or have any questions. If things aren't going to be worked out with your ex, I suggest goin' out with the guys to a couple bars/clubs, not saying you have to pick-up or anything, but it helps you realize that there are other fish in the sea (hopefully not smelly ones though... :) ). I know it helped me when I got outta my last relationship about 2 1/2 years ago ( 7 yr. relationship).

Keep close to your family and friends (that includes us here lol), they're all there to help. Best of luck and stay strong brotha!

[Dozer1980]

thx smalls things are slowly getting better we have ironed out some details and looks like im keeping the house so we will see how this pans out thx for the support all

[Born2Juice4Ever]

Keep close to your family and friends (that includes us here lol), they're all there to help. Best of luck and stay strong brotha!

You;re very sweet for saying that last part SmallieBigs

Dozer keep on going bro, no need to step back--take steps forward. and in time down the road, consider this catastrophic situation part of your evolution as a guy...

[Dozer1980]

thx b2j was better today we talked civil actually was nice even had a soccer game with the kid now all our folks know and they are supportive so not bad so far thx all for your kind words

[SmallieBigs]

good to hear Dozer... hope everything works out for the better whatever that may be...

Keep us updated with any good news... and if you have any questions or concerns, alot of us are at home bored and need to feel important .... :puff

[Dozer1980]

lol will do smalls actually met a nice chick today made me feel alive for the first time in a while

[SmallieBigs]

very nice... it's amazing how a pretty/nice chick will make your worries go away, just by bein flirty/nice... lol