Post comp depression

[bigtavi8]

Hey everyone i just did the startford show 3 weeks ago. During my precontest prep i went through a lot of shit. Horrible anxiety, severe depression, mood swings, and a lot of probs. So i went to see a psychiatrist as things got to bad to handle. They gave me my meds but they simply werent working. I felt horrible and i was lucky to make it through my comp and do so well. ANow 3 weeks later i just got out of the hospital pysch ward for the past week. I had panic attacks, droped school, and basicly ruined my life as i knew it. I volunteered myself to be admitted and i have a day pass for a few hours to get out today. I just wish to god all of this had never happened to me. I was a pefectly fine 19 year old university student and now i sufer day in and day out and am going through a lot of probs. I know the competition mindset can really screw you up and i now truly realize the body image issues and desire to get big (supplements, dieting) lead to me being where i am today. IM not looking for pity in any way all i am saying is i warn people who want to compete that if it is to much stress for you JUST SAY NO. me getting 2nd place at a low level competion is not worth destroying my mental health for the rest of my life. Now only time, propr medication, and relaxation in the hospital can heal the damage ive done to my mind becuase of my winning at all costs attitude to do my comp. Im just looking for someone on here to give me some advice to help me through the roughest time of my life. NO one ever thinks that stress and competing can hurt some people and make you make bad choices but at 20 years old i am now confined to the pysch ward and must stay there until i become stable. I just hope things get better and i can slowly work my way back to the gym. As for competing although i did good i am debating on whether to ever do it again. Any kind words and support would really help me right now guys.

[waderow]

Just do what you are doing bro, and talk about it. You will be fine if you let it out, and communicate your pain. Weird, but it works.

Us guys are idiots when it comes to holding everything inside and it festers and eventually boils over and comes out in various ways. Anger issues. Gambling, drinking, drugs, dysfunction and above all DEPRESSION.

I am glad you are doing what is necessary, and are seeing a counselor.

It sucks you are going through this, but I am happy to see that you are doing what it takes to be well, and you will be, You are young and have your whole life ahead, and in no ****ing way bro, are you ruined. Just a bump in the road to make you aware of a few things.

[Andre]

You did the right thing by going to get help! I have debated with myself about trying to compete and decided not to because I know myself well enough that it would consume me... which by the sounds of it, this is what has happened to you. The good thing is that I do not think the damage is permanent and you will be back to your self over the next weeks and months...

Competing might not be the best thing for you... my advice is to lift and bodybuild for yourself and enjoy a good physique!

Hang in there!

[SmallieBigs]

Wow... I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through. At least you were smart enough to seek help before it got too bad. I'm sure you have lots of friends and family to help you through this difficult time (us here included).

As it sounds you're doing, just concentrate on getting well right now... You can figure out your future in the sport along the way, but i'm positive there must be some underlying issues that hadn't been dealt with and got magnified by the extreme stress a competition puts on your mind and body.

Get well... We're her for ya Tav...

[Van Zan]

U just tried to do too many things at once and on top of that you must have high expectation for yourself. Try to do one thing at a time and one step at a time otherwise you will burn yourself like you just did

Good luck

[moneypit]

From someone with experience with depression.....
Concentrate as hard as it is on the positives in your situation, you were able to recognize your problem and get yourself the help you need, a lot of people don’t until its too late or have to be forced into it by somebody else because they cant help themselves...also even though the competition stress may have heightened some problems there was probably already some underlying issues and now you are in a place where you can address them at a young age and come out a better and stronger person

Surround yourself with good people and concentrate on what you now know is important your health and well being

Keep your chin up, take advantage of all the help you can get in the place your at,
and you'll come through this with a better understanding of yourself and the ability to tackle these obstacles in the future

Stay strong bro.

[RagingRandy]

Have you had blood work done? I am on HRT because of anxiety and depression. I was always super positive and never let anything get to me. That started to change. I went to see a doc who took the time to work with me. My test levels are back to normal and so am I.

Good Luck

[St]

I know what your feeling i hit bad depression after my first couple of.Please take some PCT to help with it,and get on some Hcg,Clomid,nolva's as it helps out take it from me i have been battling Anixety since i been a teen.
You have to taper right, it helps when you suffer from this,and the best this that helps is a good PCT.Hang in tight you will feel better before you know it,i seen many guy have major deppession after show,there is a big Void after a show,that leaves many people empty,with nothing to look forward to.

[gustavo77]

For many with underlying anxiety/depression it takes a very stressful event or period of time in their life to set these illnesses totally in motion.

The prep and comp were not the direct cause of your illness bro, your brain's chemical imbalance is the cause. That said, communication, positive thinking, cognitive behavioral therapy and meds are the best and only ways to fully treat your illness.

Do not go off your meds no matter how shitty you feel till you check with your doc. Anti-depressants take 6-8 weeks to work effectively and may cause you to feel pretty shitty the first few weeks till your brain and body adjust to the meds...give it time and stay positive. You are young bro with your whole life ahead of you....you will get better and get past this, just do what you need to do....taking a couple of pills per day is a small price to pay for a manageable life.

Get well and keep us posted on how you are doing!

[Felinecougar]

OH Mattchew....your my buddy forever dear. If I ever had a son, I'd want him to be just like you. With all your ups and downs. We can talk so openly.:flowers

This time of yours is not caused by the show...it would have happened in the future..during exams..or job stress or the loss of a girl or a new job. It was only time. Hormones are funny. No one judges a women on PMS meds? No one judges a women in Menopause who are on meds or a women who just had a baby and is suffering from Postnatal Depression. I work with these women daily. We are allowed the adjustments but no one talks about mens. To much shame is not right. MEN need to talk..open up about this and be there for each other.

But in your case it's not spoken about. Now in hospital you see there are doz more like you. Real people with similar and MUCH worse situations dear. one day at a time...sometimes it will be 3 steps forward and two back. YOUR always farther ahead.

I had a great work out today with you. Bench and biceps. Your vasculartiy and leanness is still there despite hospital food. It was great to train together again. I have not flexed in the mirrors in years. Thanks for the positive comments today when I did.

The gym is a healing place too. Your body image has to adjust. You were our beloved fat boy, then the lean machine. Now your going to settle into our Up and Coming Athlete who will in his own time do it again and keep us on the edge of our chairs as we witness you doing this again. Everyone want's to train with you now. Your the ONE in a million who did it.

I always say..do Jrs when your one.. Get that first show under your belt. Finish school. Start your life and then do it again before wife and kids. You got years and years again till you go again Tav. I'll be here all the way with you.

I feel a bit to blame..driving you..motivating you. Should I have let you give up before it became so stressful?

[canadianmuscle0803]

Hey everyone i just did the startford show 3 weeks ago. During my precontest prep i went through a lot of shit. Horrible anxiety, severe depression, mood swings, and a lot of probs. So i went to see a psychiatrist as things got to bad to handle. They gave me my meds but they simply werent working. I felt horrible and i was lucky to make it through my comp and do so well. ANow 3 weeks later i just got out of the hospital pysch ward for the past week. I had panic attacks, droped school, and basicly ruined my life as i knew it. I volunteered myself to be admitted and i have a day pass for a few hours to get out today. I just wish to god all of this had never happened to me. I was a pefectly fine 19 year old university student and now i sufer day in and day out and am going through a lot of probs. I know the competition mindset can really screw you up and i now truly realize the body image issues and desire to get big (supplements, dieting) lead to me being where i am today. IM not looking for pity in any way all i am saying is i warn people who want to compete that if it is to much stress for you JUST SAY NO. me getting 2nd place at a low level competion is not worth destroying my mental health for the rest of my life. Now only time, propr medication, and relaxation in the hospital can heal the damage ive done to my mind becuase of my winning at all costs attitude to do my comp. Im just looking for someone on here to give me some advice to help me through the roughest time of my life. NO one ever thinks that stress and competing can hurt some people and make you make bad choices but at 20 years old i am now confined to the pysch ward and must stay there until i become stable. I just hope things get better and i can slowly work my way back to the gym. As for competing although i did good i am debating on whether to ever do it again. Any kind words and support would really help me right now guys.

few questions bro,, your 19 yrs old right? did you use steroids for your show? if so, what did you use and for how long? your a very young kid, i had the same issues as you when i was your age, i went through the same things, the only thing that helped me was talking to someone with wisdom, in my case it was the pastor of the baptist church i attended, i suggest you get someone you can open up to, also i suggest going on some meds to help you in this time of healing, the only thing that helped me with effexor, everything else made my suicidal.. please answer the above questions and i can give you further advice.

[bigtavi8]

i will PM you i prefer that

[Felinecougar]

Hey BigTav.. Once your meds are adjusted you'll be the same buddy we know and love. Hugs..

[canadianmuscle0803]

do not fully rely on your meds bro.. they will help but it can be a very tough road to find the one that work the best for you, in the meantime i suggest you truly search yourself and even start writing everything down on paper, people like you and I tend to live and think about the past and the future but sometimes forget to live in the present, stay positive and have faith, your not alone in this struggle, and like i said in the pm, feel free to call me as im in windsor as well.

[ironwill]

do not fully rely on your meds bro.. they will help but it can be a very tough road to find the one that work the best for you, in the meantime i suggest you truly search yourself and even start writing everything down on paper, people like you and I tend to live and think about the past and the future but sometimes forget to live in the present, stay positive and have faith, your not alone in this struggle, and like i said in the pm, feel free to call me as im in windsor as well.
good of you to lend a hand...only experience can help in this matter....Otherwise it can be a long, scary, lonely road....Good man CM...i cant green you until i spread some..
I hope the best for you Tavi.....You are a tough kid, you have already proven that, this is a different kind of fight, but like anything...get a GOOD coach to help you out.....Good luck and keep us posted ..

[Mr.Freeze]

I know what your feeling i hit bad depression after my first couple of.Please take some PCT to help with it,and get on some Hcg,Clomid,nolva's as it helps out take it from me i have been battling Anixety since i been a teen.
You have to taper right, it helps when you suffer from this,and the best this that helps is a good PCT.Hang in tight you will feel better before you know it,i seen many guy have major deppession after show,there is a big Void after a show,that leaves many people empty,with nothing to look forward to.

if you did AAS i am with St on this one, do a good PCT and you will be back on track in no time.

[Felinecougar]

This aint about gear guys,....IMO figure girls use more then Tav ever has.

And it's not about the contest either. It's a culmination of stresses.

BIG IMO..you can't fix these things with more drugs. That is the route the Drs gave you a few months ago Tav. Now it's gonna take Group Therapy, private counseling and acceptance. Moving on and living with it.

YOU can do this...

I'm free to do a training session anytime with u tomorrow tav. just call.

[UkrainianGuy]

Get Well Soon!!

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger!!

[bigtavi8]

So im on a day pass again for today but ive been finding very creative ways of working out in there. Anyways things are starting to get better very slowly day by day... IM limiting my stressors and trying to get everything back to normal for when i get discharged. (Work, career plans, finances, jobs, meds, and BODybuilding). I really dont want to go back to my gym anymore. To many shit feelings, questions, and stresses. Im thinking of switching and finding a new job as a PT somewhere else...Hopefully 1 more week and ill be free from the hospital and back to life...

[canadianmuscle0803]

So im on a day pass again for today but ive been finding very creative ways of working out in there. Anyways things are starting to get better very slowly day by day... IM limiting my stressors and trying to get everything back to normal for when i get discharged. (Work, career plans, finances, jobs, meds, and BODybuilding). I really dont want to go back to my gym anymore. To many shit feelings, questions, and stresses. Im thinking of switching and finding a new job as a PT somewhere else...Hopefully 1 more week and ill be free from the hospital and back to life...

you'll be just fine my man... dont put too much stress on yourself, go out there today and enjoy the beautiful day and be thankful for the things you have, dont dwell on the negative too much and like i said call me anytime you need to talk, God put us here to help each other in cases like this... so i assure you, everything will workout well :)

[wrought]

Too many variables here to nail it down.....but a couple of thing:

- The first time around contest prep can (and should) take you to a place physically that you've never been before. The function of your mind and emotions is governed by what you put into your body and when you get contest-lean you learn this the hard way. Any imbalances resulting from this will usually clear themselves up once your body reattains homeostasis at a comfortable bodyfat level.

- If you used gear and aren't experienced in how your body will react to higher doses or coming off (which you may have done once the show was over) this can trigger severe depression. The hormonal imbalances are just like women's PMS and we all know how ****ed in the head they can get. You just have to take proper PCT and wait until your body normalizes.

- Prep requires severe focus and determination, when the show is over you need something to fill that void or at least be able to let go of that rigid mindset. That's a personal thing, whatever works for you, just relax and try not to stress about things.

Just relax bro, this is a learning experience for you and you will come out the other side knowing a hell of a lot more about yourself than you did when you started. :)

[OntariOMuscle101]

Get Well Soon Bro, I will always be here for you! You know me bro...Im always there for a buddy no matter what! Hang in there Tavi...

[tiramisu]

Between starvation, dehydration, withdrawal, exercise stress and life in general it shouldn't be too shocking that some level of depression would occur post competition.

That doesn't make it a chronic issue of its own accord. While it is easy to throw meds at the issue they all come with an associated costs. SSRI's are notoriously difficult to get off once started. The more classic anti-depressants all come with side effects.

A good PCT will be important. Several have offered to help. I'm no expert.
I do know that despite the fact that most doctors will provide anti-depressants readily they are often not worth the negative effects UNLESS you have a real and chronic need.

If this is an isolated instance of depression then eat, sleep, exercise, get out in the sun with people and recover and things will be better in a couple of months. At 19 youth should solve most of your problems.