Another marriage and divorce question.

[spitfire]

Let's say a man has $200k and a woman has $100k when they get married. Together they buy a house worth $300k. 5 years later they divorce and have to split the house. The house is now worth $400k (gain of $100k). How much would each get. Remember, he put in double the money she did.

[Gettin'r'round]

They would split the profit and each get their principle back.

Well that's the way it should be. I might be wrong. But in my pre-nup that's what it says.

[spitfire]

As I expected. So in reality he gets ****ed....again.

Best and most logical thing to do in any marriage is to put what she can put down and then make the woman earn her way by paying half the mortgage so if they divorce, it will be equal. I figure the other 100k he has was before marriage so he wouldn't have to give her half of that. Correct?

[natenator]

As I expected. So in reality he gets ****ed....again.

Best and most logical thing to do in any marriage is to put what she can put down and then make the woman earn her way by paying half the mortgage so if they divorce, it will be equal. I figure the other 100k he has was before marriage so he wouldn't have to give her half of that. Correct?
What's with all the wife/woman hating lately?

When my ex and I first bought our house my career was just geting off the ground. We bought our house using her RRSP's which she had invested from money which she inhereted. $50K.

For the first year she paid most of the mortage. For the years afterward, I more than tripled her salary and basically paid for everything on my salary and we banked hers.

When we split, should she have gotten more than I did for the sale of the house?

[RagingRandy]

Divorce is messy no matter what. When my wife and I split we basically split everything down the middle. Actually, she got more because I just wanted it over and did not want to give it all to the lawyers. Like Nate, my ex came in with more cash but I made more through the years. The math is not always straightforward.

If you boil a marriage down to a business arrangement that is all it will ever be.

[natenator]

Divorce is messy no matter what. When my wife and I split we basically split everything down the middle. Actually, she got more because I just wanted it over and did not want to give it all to the lawyers. Like Nate, my ex came in with more cash but I made more through the years. The math is not always straightforward.

If you boil a marriage down to a business arrangement that is all it will ever be.
Ditto. This is what I did as well. I basically gave up pretty much everything just to avoid any fight and hassles. And, well she had to put up with me for 9 years so she kind of deserved it LOL

[cdnsoldier]

Let's say a man has $200k and a woman has $100k when they get married. Together they buy a house worth $300k. 5 years later they divorce and have to split the house. The house is now worth $400k (gain of $100k). How much would each get. Remember, he put in double the money she did.


Take my word: If you don't play "nice" with wifey the lawyers will get most of it.

My suggestion is go 50/50 and say "bye bye baby" and move on.

I have been through this shit and any little disagreement will cost both of you and the money comes from the marriage "pot". My lawyer was my brother in law (one of the top in Toronto area). His suggestion was do it nicely and move on ( I have a huge inheritance). I said fine.

Of course she wanted what wasn't even mine yet (my parents are still alive and changed the will because we are now "estranged" lol!!!) and she dragged it out.

I could tell you the obscene amount of money it cost us. The house was eaten mostly by the lawyers and the time and...holy **** it's a nightmare.

She is dead broke right now since her lawyer sucked and gave her bad advice. I'm broke too but I have a feeling if I "reconcile" with mommy and daddy I'll be ok. She didn't get jack shit. 50% of shit.

In the end her lawyer won.

[spitfire]

The point is more than half of marriages end up in divorce. In most cases the courts are biased and women win. I think before men go ahead and do stuff, they should educate themselves as how to do it best for themselves. It's great when you're "in love" and things go well. But in the end, if it goes bad and you did stuff different, maybe you would have been a little better off. The point is to educate yourself so you do things right to protect yourself if things go wrong. I'm not woman hating, I'm hating the system.

Nat, in your case you got something out of it. But most cases I hear is men getting royally screwed. I started a thread title marriage is the lose, and I still believe it. If divorce rates were 5%, I would never start a thread like that. But being 60%, I think one should educate themselves before they get married.

Love can end, relationships can end, marriages can end. But the older you get, the harder it will be to start over if you get cleaned out. I think it would be irresponsible to not go into a marriage without knowing what can happen and what will happen if it ends in divorce. Having that knowledge, then you can make the choices that best suit you. If things go bad, then you have no one to blame but yourself if you're not happy with the outcome as you knew the laws and the choices. If you don't educate yourself, then you live in a fantasy world thinking the "happily ever after" ending. Great if you have. Will suck if you don't. Especially if kids are involved.

I'm not married and never have been. I've just seen too many people I know that got taken to the cleaners and are still paying out of their asses. Being 50 and broke is pretty bad guys. Being 25 and broke is not as bad. It's all relative. But in general the system will not treat a man fair and that's why it's time men start to educate themselves. I believe this is now why there is such a low rate of marriages and children. Just too much too lose if things go wrong.

cdnsoldier, if I read the laws correctly, a spouse cannot touch an inheritance regardless if it comes during or after the marriage. She was just being a bitch.

Someone out to write a getting married properly book so one doesn't get taken to the cleaners if it ends up in a divorce. You have more of a chance in getting a divorce than "happily ever after".

Again, this is a discussion and I encourage those who have input in here to write about it. Woman or man. If you want to attack me, it's no point, I am sticking to my guns until someone can make me see a different way of thinking. But I don't think it's possible. It's mostly the gov't that's ruined marriage with all their laws. And I think if the gov't stuck their noses in marriages, it's time they start to make things fair. REQUIRE each married couple to formally lay out how things will be split in case of divorce. Do this before marriage and not after. Then no one can complain and lawyers will not rape everyone in the ass.

**** man, is it so hard to do things fairly and logically in life? Marriage is not just about love. Whoever thinks that is living in a fantasy world. A person only has 1 life to live and no one should have the power to ruin it because of being vindictive whether it is a man or woman.

[cdnsoldier]

The point is more than half of marriages end up in divorce. In most cases the courts are biased and women win. I think before men go ahead and do stuff, they should educate themselves as how to do it best for themselves. It's great when you're "in love" and things go well. But in the end, if it goes bad and you did stuff different, maybe you would have been a little better off. The point is to educate yourself so you do things right to protect yourself if things go wrong. I'm not woman hating, I'm hating the system.

Nat, in your case you got something out of it. But most cases I hear is men getting royally screwed. I started a thread title marriage is the lose, and I still believe it. If divorce rates were 5%, I would never start a thread like that. But being 60%, I think one should educate themselves before they get married.

Love can end, relationships can end, marriages can end. But the older you get, the harder it will be to start over if you get cleaned out. I think it would be irresponsible to not go into a marriage without knowing what can happen and what will happen if it ends in divorce. Having that knowledge, then you can make the choices that best suit you. If things go bad, then you have no one to blame but yourself if you're not happy with the outcome as you knew the laws and the choices. If you don't educate yourself, then you live in a fantasy world thinking the "happily ever after" ending. Great if you have. Will suck if you don't. Especially if kids are involved.

I'm not married and never have been. I've just seen too many people I know that got taken to the cleaners and are still paying out of their asses. Being 50 and broke is pretty bad guys. Being 25 and broke is not as bad. It's all relative. But in general the system will not treat a man fair and that's why it's time men start to educate themselves. I believe this is now why there is such a low rate of marriages and children. Just too much too lose if things go wrong.

cdnsoldier, if I read the laws correctly, a spouse cannot touch an inheritance regardless if it comes during or after the marriage. She was just being a bitch.

Someone out to write a getting married properly book so one doesn't get taken to the cleaners if it ends up in a divorce. You have more of a chance in getting a divorce than "happily ever after".

Again, this is a discussion and I encourage those who have input in here to write about it. Woman or man. If you want to attack me, it's no point, I am sticking to my guns until someone can make me see a different way of thinking. But I don't think it's possible. It's mostly the gov't that's ruined marriage with all their laws. And I think if the gov't stuck their noses in marriages, it's time they start to make things fair. REQUIRE each married couple to formally lay out how things will be split in case of divorce. Do this before marriage and not after. Then no one can complain and lawyers will not rape everyone in the ass.

**** man, is it so hard to do things fairly and logically in life? Marriage is not just about love. Whoever thinks that is living in a fantasy world. A person only has 1 life to live and no one should have the power to ruin it because of being vindictive whether it is a man or woman.


In divorce court in Ontario there is no such thing as "concretes". The law is precedent law and it changes like the wind. Ask any divorce lawyer and they will tell you Ontario is one messed up place and most reputable lawyers will recommend all parties involved to put things on the table and go in with an uncontested divorce because if you contest it , it can go any way including bizarre and unpredictable ways.

Pre-nups, seperate savings etc. nothing is untouchable in the courts in Ontario and I disagree that guys get ****ed over more. It's hyped in the media especially talk radio but if you look at all divorces in Ontario and there are studies, usually the female ends up losing and most end up alongthe poverty line after 5 years.

What you need in a dicvorce is a good lawyer and that costs money. Every single guy I know who paid the money and used a good lawyer did well. The guys that end screwed are the ones who are cheap on the lawyer AND the ones who lie about the situation. You know the guy that fails to tell you he got screwed in his divorce on the kids but forgot to tell you he sent his wofe to teh ER 5 x in 7 years.

[spitfire]

What about mandatory prenup contracts or if situations arise, like new investments, business ventures etc, agreed upon as to what happens if it ends in divorce BEFORE one goes for the new business, etc.

For example situation I used about the house. Let's say I come into the marriage with 200k, wife 100k. We live in an apartment for a year and now we want to buy a house. So here comes that time a mandatory amendment to the prenup comes in.
How will we buy the house?
1- I put 200k, she puts 100k if divorce I get my money back she gets hers and profit=50/50.
2. I put 200k she puts 100k, if divorce I get 2/3 rds of the profit, she gets 1/3 as that was her initial investment and "risk". Seems fair enough to me. Vice versa if she was putting 200k and I was putting 100k. This would also have to work if the house took a loss in profit. Has to be fair all ways.
3. I put 100k, she puts 100k, we get another mortgage of 100k and we each pay half or portions we agree to and split things 50/50 if divorce. Fair too. But then that 100k extra I came into the marriage with, the interest I get on it, should I give her 50% as that is capital gain during marriage? Why should I, I made that money before I got married and the money it generates should be my choice if I give it to her or not. She never worked to create that interest payment. Why should she just be entitled to 50% of it. See my logic. Remember, this goes both ways. IT would be the reverse if the woman had the money and not the man. It would put things into way different perspectives. The point is this should never go to lawyers if it is handled BEFORE anything changes. Lawyers should only be for unforcasted stuff. If you would opt out of the prenup and amendments, then the standard law as is now would come into effect.
Women would assume as much financial responsibility as men and become more business oriented. In turn, if this was a happily ever after marriage, it would benefit the man greatly also by increasing both the partners standard of living. But nowadays, there are too many women riding the coat tails of men saying, "meh, if anything goes bad, I'll get half and rape him wherever else I can". This must stop. Vice versa too. Some men have done the same to women. The basic law should be that no one can ruin the life of another out of vindication. cdnsoldier, it should have been set up that you should never had to have lost your share of the house to pay off the lawyer. It should have been settled before it came to divorce so it would have been clean and fast and you would have both been better off today. Not your lawyers. The system is wrong and needs fixing.

[BritishColumbian]

Let's say a man has $200k and a woman has $100k when they get married. Together they buy a house worth $300k. 5 years later they divorce and have to split the house. The house is now worth $400k (gain of $100k). How much would each get. Remember, he put in double the money she did.

The woman would get everything and the man would move back into his parents house and live in the basement, drinking himself to sleep everynite.

[tex]

^^ this is the way of the world.....i did this when i got seperated.....

[cdnsoldier]

What about mandatory prenup contracts or if situations arise, like new investments, business ventures etc, agreed upon as to what happens if it ends in divorce BEFORE one goes for the new business, etc.

For example situation I used about the house. Let's say I come into the marriage with 200k, wife 100k. We live in an apartment for a year and now we want to buy a house. So here comes that time a mandatory amendment to the prenup comes in.
How will we buy the house?
1- I put 200k, she puts 100k if divorce I get my money back she gets hers and profit=50/50.
2. I put 200k she puts 100k, if divorce I get 2/3 rds of the profit, she gets 1/3 as that was her initial investment and "risk". Seems fair enough to me. Vice versa if she was putting 200k and I was putting 100k. This would also have to work if the house took a loss in profit. Has to be fair all ways.
3. I put 100k, she puts 100k, we get another mortgage of 100k and we each pay half or portions we agree to and split things 50/50 if divorce. Fair too. But then that 100k extra I came into the marriage with, the interest I get on it, should I give her 50% as that is capital gain during marriage? Why should I, I made that money before I got married and the money it generates should be my choice if I give it to her or not. She never worked to create that interest payment. Why should she just be entitled to 50% of it. See my logic. Remember, this goes both ways. IT would be the reverse if the woman had the money and not the man. It would put things into way different perspectives. The point is this should never go to lawyers if it is handled BEFORE anything changes. Lawyers should only be for unforcasted stuff. If you would opt out of the prenup and amendments, then the standard law as is now would come into effect.
Women would assume as much financial responsibility as men and become more business oriented. In turn, if this was a happily ever after marriage, it would benefit the man greatly also by increasing both the partners standard of living. But nowadays, there are too many women riding the coat tails of men saying, "meh, if anything goes bad, I'll get half and rape him wherever else I can". This must stop. Vice versa too. Some men have done the same to women. The basic law should be that no one can ruin the life of another out of vindication. cdnsoldier, it should have been set up that you should never had to have lost your share of the house to pay off the lawyer. It should have been settled before it came to divorce so it would have been clean and fast and you would have both been better off today. Not your lawyers. The system is wrong and needs fixing.



Matrimonial homes are not effected by any prenup. So if you have a millin dollar home and she moves in, guess what? Bye bye 50%.

Anyways once you go through a divorce you will know that nothing means anything. Any contract, agreement, even a judgement can and will be over turned if you have a good lawyer. Prenumps have so many clauses and open ends in Ontario that you will end up ****ed if you come n with too much.

here's teh deal. If you come in the marriages, with let's say 2 million in assest. And your woman comes in with, let's say 10K and OSAP payments, you know my advice? Screw her. Marry someone who's close to you in earning power and assets .

I think the biggest issues are when you marry a loser. Like I did. She was a dead beat loser with low earning ability, low assets and basically a general **** up.

If I had to do it again I will marry someone who is as wealthy as me or who's family is as wealthy as mine. It seems cold and calculated but you can lose a lot in divorce if one side is loaded and the other isn't.

And A prenuptial only covers assets you have before marriage but as I said a lot of loopholes in appreciation and any lawyer can make an asset that was 100% yours to start with, like hers. And appreciation? Oh boy...

And when you do get a divorce with a prenup, watch these words; Duress, Undue Influence and Unconscionability. Watch those words tear that paper to shreds.

[Sean]

The woman would get everything and the man would move back into his parents house and live in the basement, drinking himself to sleep everynite.

Well, at least I wasn't the only one lol (at least she left me my shoes)..

[spitfire]

Matrimonial homes are not effected by any prenup. So if you have a millin dollar home and she moves in, guess what? Bye bye 50%.

Anyways once you go through a divorce you will know that nothing means anything. Any contract, agreement, even a judgement can and will be over turned if you have a good lawyer. Prenumps have so many clauses and open ends in Ontario that you will end up ****ed if you come n with too much.

here's teh deal. If you come in the marriages, with let's say 2 million in assest. And your woman comes in with, let's say 10K and OSAP payments, you know my advice? Screw her. Marry someone who's close to you in earning power and assets .

I think the biggest issues are when you marry a loser. Like I did. She was a dead beat loser with low earning ability, low assets and basically a general **** up.

If I had to do it again I will marry someone who is as wealthy as me or who's family is as wealthy as mine. It seems cold and calculated but you can lose a lot in divorce if one side is loaded and the other isn't.

And A prenuptial only covers assets you have before marriage but as I said a lot of loopholes in appreciation and any lawyer can make an asset that was 100% yours to start with, like hers. And appreciation? Oh boy...

And when you do get a divorce with a prenup, watch these words; Duress, Undue Influence and Unconscionability. Watch those words tear that paper to shreds.

This is the problem. The gov't and laws have turned marriage into a losing business (mostly for men). This is why I stand by my words. Marriage = the lose. As is, if a man gets married, he gets what he deserves when he divorces. Soon, it will get to the point that the man will not even want to cohabitate with a woman cause you can get ****ed that way in certain places. He'll say move in next door or you get your place, I'll get mine and we'll make some arrangements.

The gov't and law has broken apart marriage and soon cohabitation. But for them it's better. If we live separate and have 2 places, more taxes, more money for them.

Do not get married and don't have kids. That's what's becoming the reality of life. Sorry women. It's really not your fault but the gov't and laws and what they allow to happen. An angry person will do things to another to cause them whatever grief they can. They law should not help to achieve those goals. It is just plain wrong. Again, I have never been married, not in a relationship now. I have just seen too many cases of bad stuff happening, mostly to men, when divorce happens.

No marriage for this cat. Unsure about children though.

[natenator]

boys, common law isn't really any different. I wasn't married. I was common law. And the reason why 50% end in divorce is due to a LOT of factors so let's not trivialize this as marriage being bullshit, women suck and men getting screwed.

I know more than a few deadbeat fathers out there who when I see them make me want to beat the piss out of them but there will always be good people who do the right thing and bad people who don't. Let's not make women out to be the evil do'er that Spitfire seems to want to do ;)

[cdnsoldier]

boys, common law isn't really any different. I wasn't married. I was common law. And the reason why 50% end in divorce is due to a LOT of factors so let's not trivialize this as marriage being bullshit, women suck and men getting screwed.

I know more than a few deadbeat fathers out there who when I see them make me want to beat the piss out of them but there will always be good people who do the right thing and bad people who don't. Let's not make women out to be the evil do'er that Spitfire seems to want to do ;)

Where do you get him trying to make women look "evil"?

Lawyers + a pissed of chick= Bad news. That's the way it is.

When people divorce how many are able to remain civil? 10-20%? The remaining turn it into a bloody bloodbath. NOt the woman's fault. Not the man's fault. Human nature's fault. We are vindictive by nature.

But I will say this: Every single divorce, including mine, I have witnessed both parties started off fairly civil and the female usually promises to behave.....until they see the man with another woman and then court becomes a full time job. That's my experience in Toronto. My custody for the children went from a nce half to a contested half to me being "unfit" in her eyes because I spend time with friends etc. I went from a "great father" to a so-so father once I had another female and she saw me with her.

[CubanMuscle]

sometimes walking away with your sanity is worth more than what you put into it :)

[d man]

your just dealing with the split of the house stuff and yeah 50 50 and in some cases your lucky if you get 50. throw in kids , is a whole new ride ! looking back and im only 3 years past i should have gone with 1 cheaper to keeper ( girl on the side ) 2 have her wacked lol or 3 keep lifting get your life teogether and the hottest girl you know rent or otherwise and let her see you happy and with this wicked hotty .... she'll be pissed and sweet revenge is better than option 1 or 2
honestly kids are great however your gonna be married to the chick you divorce till there 18. the more money i make the more money i give , she quit work so now i support my ex ...... yeeehaaaaaaaaa

[d man]

100 % agreed on the sanity , karma , again getting your life teogether is key mind body and soul
its a tough ride expecially if your ex is bent on bad vibes

[Gettin'r'round]

I agree with cndsoldier, I married a women who actually makes more than I do now. Makes things a lot easier. We each have our own bank accounts and split the bills. She spends money on what she wants and I do the same. Clean and easy.