her i go again

[bigdaddydrew123]

havent been arround awhile,takin care of buisness sold my house,separatin from my wife,gotta move at the end of the month.gimme some words of encouragement, even though im releived to be gettin out its still rough.
do you think bbers and none fitness oriented spouses can work,in my experience no,lets here some input on that one

[RagingRandy]

I went through this a few years back. It sucks right now but it will get better. Fitness is only one of the differences that will split people up. Sometimes it is money, sex, time. Whatever the case you can usually boil it down to differences in priorities. Obviously you put a high priority on your fitness so that is where your time, money and desire are. Your ex-wife was unable to justify this in her mind because she is not the same way.

Some people who are not into fitness automatically believe that people who are fit look down on them. In some cases this is true. Just look at all the fatty jokes tossed around here.

I am glad that my new wife is very interested in fitness. She is also 20 years younger than me. But, she still has a hard time keeping up with me. Making sure I can stay at least a step ahead of her is great motivation to keep up on the fitness.

People will say opposites attract. But for a long term relationship to work there needs to be commonality.

[HardtoHandle]

In my personal experience...it's very difficult to keep a relationship afloat if one does bodybuild and the other does not.
Even in the remote sense.

It's a lifestyle, no different than...if one person was a chronic dope user and the other wasnt. Or if one person drank often and the other doesn't.


It's the commonality that brings a couple closer; no matter what it is. (Agreing with Raging Randy)

Sorry about the split bigdaddy.....but...things happen for a reason.

I won't compromise with someone who doesn't live the life I do.....and, I'm still searching.....

Hugs.

[Big D]

hey man sorry to hear that,

and I do think they can be together,

[bigdaddydrew123]

i ted to think they dont both have to bb but at least share passion for fitness or at least understand passion for something.i actually fell reborn in some ways,no more negativity thrown at me ed

[Felinecougar]

I'm in the same situation. He is moving out soooon!

I met a guy for coffee last week who made fun of my jacked female and male friends on my facebook page. He said he done that and grew up. NOT the kind of guy I what I want to have another coffee with for sure.

I'll never want for another jacked guy..NEVER.

But he would have to work out and stay fit. Even a light weight imo would be ok if he was calm and even tempered yet lifted 6 days a week.

I have not seen very often a relationship that worked where one was concerned with fitness and the other did not, it didn't work well.. We have a guy at the gym we knick named......"MY wife won't let me lift tonight". Now that's sad.

Best of luck buddy..the hard part is who gets the cats and will you go back and mow the lawn every sat?

[metalchick]

I think it can work if the other person understands your commitment.
Personally, I wouldn't be able to date someone who didn't lift, it just wouldn't work for me.

[Big D]

I think it can work if the other person understands your commitment.
Personally, I wouldn't be able to date someone who didn't lift, it just wouldn't work for me.

ya i agree, they have to understand your commitment, and respect you, if they always eat junk food and bring you down than its not going to work.

[Ritch]

Sucks to hear that man. I don`t care if a girl trains or not. I kinda like em chunky, so if she trains it`s a good insurance she won`t get too fat, just stay pleasantly plump as I like them.

[O-Train]

People don't need to have the same interests to be together (although it makes it easier). What is needed is support and respect for what the other person does.

Sorry to hear about your situation. I'm curious. Did you mean to write "HER I go again"?

[tball]

stay strong..at the end of the day you'll find someone better suited for you.

As far as finding someone who shares your interest in BB i don't think it's necessary. You need to find an independent, secure woman.
I've found some women, esp. at the beginning of a relationship will question your motives concerning your fitness lifestyle. Once they develop a level of trust in you, they'll realize you don't go to the gym to scoop chicks but that it is something which you need to do

[C-money]

I think it could work, if the other person was understanding enough. Ive been on both sides of the fence and had a relationship for 8 years, she never trained and it didnt work out at all, she didnt care about a healthy lifestyle, and i know lots of why we split was cause everyday id be training for 2 or more hours at nights... My current relationship is much better, my current gf trains, eats clean, and loves the fitness lifestyle. It makes it much easier imho... Oh and she pins me too!;) definate bonus!Besides id way rather meet girls at a gym then in a bar!

[arcnspark77]

a mutual interest in being healthy is key, she doesn't have to be hardcore about fitness or bodybuilding. she has to understand you need the time for yourself. good luck and hang in there

[waderow]

people do not have to both be body builders for a relationship to work with a bodybuilder. all it takes is understanding, respect, and communication.
i would expect my girlfriend or wife not caring about me bodybuilding, as long as i still had time for her, kids, pets, and chores and family stuff. you know what i mean? once shit is looked after, go train. the same would be expected from her i am sure if...lets say she wanted to go take art classes, or whatever..... just shit for her, and i think she would expect that you support her taking it.

communication, or lack of that is, is the reason why most relationships fail. if people can have dialogue, and discuss their concerns, and slights, and come to mutual discussed conclusions via communicating face to face, the relationship will work. UNless, you just somehow fall out of love. Me? impossible, I am a swan, but some people just fall out of love, or perhaps never were in love..... some people are not capable of having a long term relationship either due to mental problems. (my ex for instance).
Couldn't resist getting a jab in on the ex.

anyways, glad that you are happy with the split, but yeah, must suck to deal with it and go through it

[turboturist]

People don't need to have the same interests to be together (although it makes it easier). What is needed is support and respect for what the other person does.

Exactly, as long as there is mutual respect then it should not be a problem.

And sorry to hear about the breakup dude, its never easy.

[IronRobi]

havent been arround awhile,takin care of buisness sold my house,separatin from my wife,gotta move at the end of the month.gimme some words of encouragement, even though im releived to be gettin out its still rough.
do you think bbers and none fitness oriented spouses can work,in my experience no,lets here some input on that one

Drew, good to see you back bro, sorry to hear about the rough times. To answer your question, it can work if both sides are willing to bend a bit. For the bber not go as hardcore and put the gym over the wife, for the wife... make an effort to get interested in the man's interest. Or just go out and find yourself a nice little fitness model ;)

[Born2Juice4Ever]

Sucks to hear that man. I don`t care if a girl trains or not. I kinda like em chunky, so if she trains it`s a good insurance she won`t get too fat, just stay pleasantly plump as I like them.


:moon :D


Sorry to hear about your situation there fellow CBBer.

I have been blessed over the years, because ALL of my girlfriends have been involved in the industry--had very close and deep relationships with personal trainers, long distance runner---there are ALMOST no bodybuilder chicks in my area, which leaves me NO choice but to convert the ones I meet.

A relationship is about compromising...both have jobs, both have different interests or even different hobbies....meeting at a good comfortable middle point is where it is at IMHO

Of course no relationship is easy, but nor should it be difficult...all relationship take effort and work--

For example I am into spin bike several times per week. My girlfriend is not so much into it, but she loves to hit it with me at least once per week, and the rest she walks besides me...compromise.
I eat tons of meat, she compromises....and when we do shopping, we understand that meats can be big tagged items.
I LOVE to spend time on the sites--when my work is not overtaking my time, she allows my time on the boards and even shares advise or opinions with me.

I was with a chick for 2 years up until 6 months ago, she hated the sites (personal trainer, that kept me around because of her looks, other wise this chick was empty space IMO)--she hated me spending time on the sites WTF is that?? Why be so selfish hu? :(


B2J

[Gettin'r'round]

The wife is also a bb'er. Same interests in eating good, working hard, politics etc. I'm also the quiet, calm yin to her wild, crazy yang lol. Dating with non gym girls never lasted long.

Take this as a positive time even though I bet it sure doesn't feel like it at the moment.

[bigdaddydrew123]

thanx for opinions,i guess i just wanna know why it failed,even though i want out its still failure,in the end we were just 2 different people frustrated trying make it work when we are just wired totally different.i think it wouldve helped if she undderstood my passion,but it made her feel second to bbing,if someone never felt the rush of being fit or endorphins from a good workout,how could they understand it.it boiled down to me giving up something i loved for someone i loved,i just felt if you really love someone .help them live their dream not wreck it,i still beleive in relationswhips ,im not bitter or anything like that.
im lookin forward to a peacefull existance by myself for awhile.i got a set of rules for next time though.take me as i am i might be disfunctional or whatever, but this is me like it or leave it.thanx again for opinions

[IronRobi]

it boiled down to me giving up something i loved for someone i loved,i just felt if you really love someone .help them live their dream not wreck it.

Couldn't have said it better. It's not failure man. For every door that closes, a window opens. Think of it as new opportunity.