Anyone else an "asshole sleeper"?

[bigpapapump2016]

I just kicked my girlfriend out of my house while i was asleep. Apparently I told her to get out and **** off. lol I have no idea why or when I said it. Anybody else have these half asleep experiences? She came back and told me what I had said and I told her I had no idea why or even remember saying it.

[gsxr750]

Hahahhaha "get out.. and **** OFF"

Yea i've done it, not in so many words though.. usually relates to the dream i'm kind of in the middle of.

[guest]

i apparently once tried to suffocate a GF with a pillow in my sleep. glad i was unsuccessful, try and explain that.

[Gettin'r'round]

Steroids are dangerous.

[L3]

when i used to drink and then go to sleep a few times i woke up and there were bloody punch marks/ little pieces of skin on the wall

one time i got super super trahsed, went home to my gf's.. passed out... next thing i know, the lights in the bedroom are on, my girlfriend is by the switch with this bewildered look on her face, im buck naked with my pecker resting on her dresser, already halfway done pissing, its dripping everywhere into the drawers with her clothes

she said she heard me moving around, saw me standing infront of the dresser and turned on the lights... apparently i had the biggest smile on my face

i tell that story to everyone i find it hilarious.. its not my expensive clothes that got soaked in pee lol

[xxSCHiSMxx]

^^ haha .. never pissed myself drunk, or on clothes. Was at house party where dude pissed on the couch.

I lived w/ asshole sleeper. She'd wake me up 2 - 3 times a night w/ kicks, hits, talking in her sleep, grinding her teeth. Woman had issues.

[wrought]

....asleep? lol, you know your pimp hand is strong when you can use being asleep as an excuse and get away with it.

"Nah honey its not my fault, yeah it was me, but how was I supposed to know it was your sister? I was asleep."

[Big D]

I just kicked my girlfriend out of my house while i was asleep. Apparently I told her to get out and **** off. lol I have no idea why or when I said it. Anybody else have these half asleep experiences? She came back and told me what I had said and I told her I had no idea why or even remember saying it.

hahah man that sucks, its never happen to me. so did she actually take you seriously and left the house ?

[spankmonkey]

Never told gf to get out and **** off, but have woken up and been bonning the gf. Did she ever have a suprised look on her face. She returned the favour a number of times after that.., worked out pretty good, actually had to marry her:sex

[Bowlcut]

I take some pills to help me sleep and I get super drowsy and can't remember stuff.

Told my bro to **** off a bunch of times.
Maybe told my mom to **** off too which is probably not a smart idea.

[oharad]

when i used to drink and then go to sleep a few times i woke up and there were bloody punch marks/ little pieces of skin on the wall

one time i got super super trahsed, went home to my gf's.. passed out... next thing i know, the lights in the bedroom are on, my girlfriend is by the switch with this bewildered look on her face, im buck naked with my pecker resting on her dresser, already halfway done pissing, its dripping everywhere into the drawers with her clothes

she said she heard me moving around, saw me standing infront of the dresser and turned on the lights... apparently i had the biggest smile on my face

i tell that story to everyone i find it hilarious.. its not my expensive clothes that got soaked in pee lol


thats the funniest thing i heard in a long time!!! hBAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[Houstonbc]

hahahahaa hilarious man

[RagingRandy]

Just happened last week. Was having a dream, I actually remember the dream, I wailed on some guy. In real life I punched my wife. Good thing it was in the arm and not hard. She woke me up telling me I punched her. I mumbled a sorry and fell back asleep. Nothing was said in the morning.