View Full Version : Dealing with seperation
vanskelig
11-05-2011, 09:34 PM
I found out my wife was cheating on me. I kicked her out of the house and made her take all her shit that night. Its been a week now, and we are talking but just talking.
What the hell do I do? I never thought my wife would cheat on me.
dngerfield
11-05-2011, 11:38 PM
hopefully no kids involved...if no kids you have no reason to try to work things out....if there are, for the sake of the kids i'd consider reconciliation...no matter what people try to say or believe, 95% of the time a kid from a divorced family is on the road to ****ed up relationships for life. good luck....and on a lighter side, if she has a sister, try to f***k her
natenator
12-05-2011, 09:12 AM
Who owns the house?
lol
Krozone
12-05-2011, 10:56 AM
How about broaching a alternative lifestyle. If you are not fulfilling her needs sexually, that does not mean that she does not love you nor does it mean she no longer wants to be your wife.
Having an Affair is 100% different then having sex with another, other then your married partner.
Affair's usually have emotions associated with them; in your case, from what I understand... You are not dealing with that.
It really depends on your relationship..
Please, excuse me if I am out of line with the following questions.
1) Does your wife masturbate?
2) Does your wife watch porn?
3) If she does not (Either of the first 2 questions) what is her stance/thoughts on the aforementioned?
I hope that I can provide some insight.
All the best! I hope it works out for you and your wife!
I would purposely contract ghonorrhea then give it to her.
Trust will never mend , in the long run. What was her reasoning behind this ? Was it just sex ?
Tell her she owes you a threesome with another chick. Do it. Then break up with her and move on.
It might not have anything to do with sex,but intimacy...how did you find out vanskelig?
faller
13-05-2011, 12:05 AM
Trust will never mend , in the long run.
Yes it does, it just takes time..
Yes it does, it just takes time..
The stats say that women get even...and more.
Gloomy-bearr
13-05-2011, 09:32 PM
The stats say that women get even...and more.
I think that applies if we cheat on them
ubcpower
13-05-2011, 10:02 PM
Once a cheater always a cheater.
faller
13-05-2011, 11:21 PM
Once a cheater always a cheater.
This is true.. However its not the end all. Being a cheater is not unlike being an alcoholic, you have to come to terms with it. Recognize what it is and avoid situations that temp you. The urge never leaves you,,,, you just control it when you find the one you love..
This is probably not going to make any sense to most is it? *shrugs*
It makes sense, Faller, but the reality is for most people once that line is crossed it hard to go back.
warlock
14-05-2011, 03:44 PM
I found out my wife was cheating on me. I kicked her out of the house and made her take all her shit that night. Its been a week now, and we are talking but just talking.
What the hell do I do? I never thought my wife would cheat on me.
It seems like you want to go back with her.
If not just ask her to stay away for a while and avoid her, get a lawyer, split your stuff, move on and maybe in the future you can have an amicable relationship.
If you want to go back:
go to a public neutral place and talk. no yielding, no screaming talk like adults should do and ask her what happened.
what is her take?
What does she want?
How does she want it?
Walk away and think with a clear head and then decide if it is worth trying once more.
Maybe monogamy is not what would work for you guys (negotiate your terms)
Maybe you will never be able to trust her again
Too many maybes think about what you want, how you want it, ask what her take is, what type of relationship she wants with you ask her a week to think and them make up your mind.
Don't rush into anything that you would regret in the future.
vanskelig
14-05-2011, 05:01 PM
I don't really trust her. I caught her once sending nasty text messages (long ago), cyber sexing some loser on facebook (who lives in europe) but she tried to lie to me about going to a movie with a friend and she was actually going with a boy. I am really unclear if she did anything other than live in some really offensive, untrusting fantasy world. I told her she could live in the house because its half hers but she gives up her cell phone and takes over the finances of the house (which might sound backwards but she is resentful that she can't buy anything she wants because she has no idea what bills we actually have and when they come out).
We discussed councilling but I am stubborn and can't see why I'd need to go, she has issues she needs to fix before I start making deals.
warlock
15-05-2011, 10:20 AM
Bad communication
lack of trust
immaturity
what else?
vanskelig
15-05-2011, 08:36 PM
What do you mean "what else?"
You said you can't see why you would have to go,maybe the counselor could see something?
warlock
16-05-2011, 02:05 PM
what else to add to this list?
Step back and re read your posts trying to be impartial. It seems to be the recipe for a disaster.
People change for sure but we have to learn to pick our battles and when there is so much to change maybe this isn't a war worth it.
physique
17-05-2011, 10:54 AM
cut your losses! lots more women out there.
be a good boy though until everything is signed on the dotted line. as women are ****ing evil, and if they hear u are out banging other chicks, they get hurt and that means revenge in the terms of taking more then she deserves.
vanskelig
22-05-2011, 10:45 AM
Thank you everyone.
I wanted to believe it was repairable but...it was not. I think I was more scared to lose my house and dog than my wife but I asked her for a divorce and handed her my wedding ring.
Mr Ontario
22-05-2011, 07:24 PM
Will this mean you will have to pay alimony?
Thank you everyone.
I wanted to believe it was repairable but...it was not. I think I was more scared to lose my house and dog than my wife but I asked her for a divorce and handed her my wedding ring.
Did you ask to keep the dog ?
vanskelig
22-05-2011, 10:09 PM
She has her cat.
vanskelig
26-06-2011, 10:01 PM
Well, month later and she finally has all her shit out. Cleaned me out of furniture pretty good but on the flip side, that can all be replaced. Don't miss the lies or deception one bit, feels pretty good to be alone.
vanskelig
11-12-2011, 11:48 AM
cut your losses! lots more women out there.
be a good boy though until everything is signed on the dotted line. as women are ****ing evil, and if they hear u are out banging other chicks, they get hurt and that means revenge in the terms of taking more then she deserves.
best advice ever. play nice and then cut ties.
JacktheThriller
11-12-2011, 04:39 PM
yea then **** all her friends lol
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