advice on a possible child

[Durk]

Remember my story about the girl I banged in the back of my friends F-150? Apparently She has approached a couple of my friends saying that I am the father of a child that she gave birth to a month ago.

I dont know how it could be mine since I was too drunk to jizz when I tapped it. I read that precum has no sperm and that it would be almost impossible.
I know for a fact that I wasnt the only guy that she was ****ing at the time so I dont know why she is looking for me. I passed a message along to get a court ordered paternity test and we will go from there.

This could be my friends playing a cruel joke, but if not I think that I will start wearing condoms lol.

What is the actual chance of her getting pregnant? what am I likely to pay in child support if it is mine, and how hard would it be to get custody since she her and her family are a bunch of losers.

[tiramisu]

Thailand.

[PdH]

Ah Durk, it's finally come back to bite ya.

What is the actual chance of her getting pregnant?

Gee, I dunno. I guess the same as most unprotected sex where the guy doesn't ejac.

What am I likely to pay in child support if it is mine?

There's a scale based on your income. Look up child support guidelines.

How hard would it be to get custody since she her and her family are a bunch of losers.

Are you talking about sole custody? Anyway, it's based on the best interests of the child. You'll need to demonstrate some type of neglect or abuse to get sole custody. Shouldn't be hard to get split custody though.

[natenator]

Ah Durk, it's finally come back to bite ya.

What is the actual chance of her getting pregnant?

Gee, I dunno. I guess the same as most unprotected sex where the guy doesn't ejac.

What am I likely to pay in child support if it is mine?

There's a scale based on your income. Look up child support guidelines.

How hard would it be to get custody since she her and her family are a bunch of losers.

Are you talking about sole custody? Anyway, it's based on the best interests of the child. You'll need to demonstrate some type of neglect or abuse to get sole custody. Shouldn't be hard to get split custody though.
she might be able to argue Durk not an upstanding, responsible person for having slept with her - a girl who her and her family are a bunch of losers and whom routinely practices unprotected sex with random people.

[MMASTAR]

Get the paternity test and go from there, if its yours be a man and a father, pay what you are suspossed to and enjoy being a father, not all kids are born into good situations but we can always make the best of the hand we have been dealt. Besides, being a father is THE greatest joy known to man.

[MMASTAR]

As for sole custody, PDH was right, you would have to prove some ort of neglet/mistreatment of the child. And im not sure hw much you make but you may want to be sitting when you look up the child support payment...:)

[GYMBRAT]

OUCH!! not gonna be cool in anyway shape or form bro, sorry to say.

[BAM]

Have you considered raping her?

[Victor85]

Shit Son! Thats a full plate you got. Good luck.

[Durk]

she might be able to argue Durk not an upstanding, responsible person for having slept with her - a girl who her and her family are a bunch of losers and whom routinely practices unprotected sex with random people.

She was the one who lied to me and said that she was single. She had a fiance that she was using to buy her a house and support her. She is a gold digging welfare case that is fortunate enough to be good looking.


I guess her fiance is steril so he kicked her to the curb and now she is comming after me since I am the only guy that she ****ed who isnt a wannabe G-unit gangsta.

[Durk]

This could also be a prank to get me back for convincing all of my friends ex girlfriends that he had herpes. We do funny jokes like that, but this has been going on for a while, and its starting to scare me lol. It is also comming from a bunch of sources so if it is a joke then its well orchastrated, and bravo to the mastermind behind it.

I just might try to speak to her directly or somethin.

[bigtavi8]

That would be a pretty sick joke man. But i no how it is,,hahah.. honestly tho i wouldnt lose sleep over this because whats done is done unfortunatly. If she has the brains to go through all the work and prove its yours then you can either try for custody if shes not fit. Or pay child support. Im young but ive been through some scares and believe me its no joke man. This shit is life long man and theres no way out.

[GYMBRAT]

I'b be chattin wit her face to face brutha and get some sort of truth happenin

[warlock]

dude when did you get your last STD test?

If you got her pregnant lucky you: she could have passed you HIV.

If the kid is yours you're responsible for the child if you are ****ed or not that's something that just the future will tell.

Meanwhile learn your lesson

[countrychic]

This could be my friends playing a cruel joke, but if not I think that I will start wearing condoms lol.

.


You "THINK" you will start wearing condoms.....:confused: if this doesn't scare you enough to wear one what will??

[massmachine]

Should of strictly played in the cornhole. Wouldn't be having this discussion right now...

[bigtavi8]

Should of strictly played in the cornhole. Wouldn't be having this discussion right now...


hahahaha LOL durk why didnt you just go dirtbiking with her? Now youd be all good. haha. massmachine thats my laugh for the day man.

[PdH]

She was the one who lied to me and said that she was single. She had a fiance that she was using to buy her a house and support her. She is a gold digging welfare case that is fortunate enough to be good looking.

I guess her fiance is steril so he kicked her to the curb and now she is comming after me since I am the only guy that she ****ed who isnt a wannabe G-unit gangsta.

Sounds to me like you're trying to play the victim now Durk. You knew exactly what you where doing so buck-the-****-up and accept responsibility for your behaviour.

[macka]

You "THINK" you will start wearing condoms.....:confused: if this doesn't scare you enough to wear one what will??

Kids are clueless these days

Durk dirtchute ftw

[#8]

I hope its not yours dude....

[Durk]

OK correction I will be wrapping it up for now on. This is the second time this month that I was approached like this. The first time was a false alarm. I have actually cleaned up my act in the last couple of months, but now my life is turning into an episode of Maury lol. Karma eventually comes around sooner or later I guess.

[GYMBRAT]

yup lol, we can never run from our past man ;) sucks but its true

[warlock]

OK correction I will be wrapping it up for now on. This is the second time this month that I was approached like this. The first time was a false alarm. I have actually cleaned up my act in the last couple of months, but now my life is turning into an episode of Maury lol. Karma eventually comes around sooner or later I guess.

Children are a sexually transmitted bless or illness my friend

[macka]

so Durkistan is it your baby batter that broke the egg wall or is it a mystery man? I'd drag my ass down to the health unit for an all out test if I were you. There are lots of things you could have caught that don't show symptoms.

[Durk]

The results of my paternity test are?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVlfyYWfX8I&feature=related

[Mr Ontario]

lol that hilarious :)


The results of my paternity test are?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVlfyYWfX8I&feature=related

[Durk]

Now my past cant come back to haunt me for good lol. I am a changed man :)

[macka]

you only go unprotected when she is into anal?

[Durk]

Well I am still not using rubbers, but I now have a girlfriend instead of randoms. I implement the pull out method, or just blow it in her ass.

I finally found someone who wants the same things as me. I think this one will work out.

[macka]

Well I am still not using rubbers, but I now have a girlfriend instead of randoms. I implement the pull out method, or just blow it in her ass.

I finally found someone who wants the same things as me. I think this one will work out.

Ah the Picasso method of birth control. I love painting the belly button, but with randoms its scary what you can be exposed to. I know a few guys from my army days who had to get shots or warts burnt off.

[RagingRandy]

Here is the real Durk.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f6tsEUzgVM&feature=related

[zeezee]

OK correction I will be wrapping it up for now on. This is the second time this month that I was approached like this. The first time was a false alarm. I have actually cleaned up my act in the last couple of months, but now my life is turning into an episode of Maury lol. Karma eventually comes around sooner or later I guess.

Just so you know pre-cum *can* have sperm in it. Wrap it up.

Zeezee (future nursing student)

[R-Money]

Should have done what I did and spent the last few years ingesting small amounts of spermicide, until the eventual build up in your system made it so you now ejaculate a mint scented sterilization fluid.

[macka]

Durk's luck is he would buy a mint puck.........:ne

[Durk]

Ah the Picasso method of birth control. I love painting the belly button, but with randoms its scary what you can be exposed to. I know a few guys from my army days who had to get shots or warts burnt off.

You paint the belly button, and use your cack as a paint brush 2? She told me I was weird for doing that lol

[macka]

You paint the belly button, and use your cack as a paint brush 2? She told me I was weird for doing that lol

yea and give em lip gloss if they are willing

[R-Money]

and nut in their nose, make em feel like they got a cold

[macka]

and nut in their nose, make em feel like they got a cold

I once gave a gf the white dragon

[zeezee]

I once gave a gf the white dragon

I just looked that up.....and sooooooo glad I am not ticklish. :)