Worst Date/Pick Up Moments

[Bowlcut]

Alright. Spill the beans about what's the worst thing you have said AND what you have heard.

In the past 2 weeks on dates/at the bar I have heard the following:

1) My BF cheated on me and he gave me the clap

2) I used to work as a dancer

3) Terrible laugh where the broad snorted like a pig

Now bad things I have said in naive youth

1) "Bowlcut, do you take steroids?"
"Uh, no, why are my balls small?"

2) "Babe, if you are on the rag when can take this to the shower"

[shithead]

I've had a ton. Tonight brain failing, more at 11.

[Freebsd1977]

This one works for me: "I think of you all the time when I masturbate". LOL!

[mcgee]

"nice shoes wanna ****"

[MIAGIONJUS]

"want a wherthers??"

[cedric]

a big guy from morocco saying: "i am the president"

no joke. just like that. in a big voice. No lead up, nothign.

[Bowlcut]

a big guy from morocco saying: "i am the president"

no joke. just like that. in a big voice. No lead up, nothign.

An Arab president?

Shit the is less believable than a black president!

[Musclehead]

I met a girl from online one time and she looked slightly different in person. Crooked teeth, lazy eye, and way too many freckles for my taste that's for sure. I wanted to leave as soon as I said hello lol. I could not escape and ended up talking to her for about an hour or so. It was incredibly awekward, but looking back it's pretty funny lol.

[champcar99]

Met a married women online: "my husband doesn't give me enough, so I told him if he doesn't give me more than I am getting I will go elsewhere"

she is so hungry for my &^&^ ...it's like she's in love with it...lol...
going to keep her around for a while....

This one is about maybe 3 weeks ago:
I met her online, she was funny, kinda cute...We met for drinks and within 45 mins back at her place...she says " You want to fist me"....hahahahahah..

[beserker]

I went up to some bar skank and asked "do you have a boyfriend?" she said no and i said "what are you doing for dick" bwahahahahahaha . needless to say she bailed out instantly. I stole that line from somewhere but be warned.... IT DOES NOT WORK:wtf :)

[Bowlcut]

Met a married women online: "my husband doesn't give me enough, so I told him if he doesn't give me more than I am getting I will go elsewhere"

she is so hungry for my &^&^ ...it's like she's in love with it...lol...
going to keep her around for a while....

This one is about maybe 3 weeks ago:
I met her online, she was funny, kinda cute...We met for drinks and within 45 mins back at her place...she says " You want to fist me"....hahahahahah..

I call bullshit. No skank asks to be fisted until at least an hour with a guy.

[champcar99]

I call bullshit. No skank asks to be fisted until at least an hour with a guy.

your a funny dude...give or take a few mins bro...

[Bowlcut]

your a funny dude...give or take a few mins bro...

So did you fist her? Anal or Vag?

[cedric]

I went up to some bar skank and asked "do you have a boyfriend?" she said no and i said "what are you doing for dick" bwahahahahahaha . needless to say she bailed out instantly. I stole that line from somewhere but be warned.... IT DOES NOT WORK:wtf :)

BWAHAHAHHAahHHAHAHahHHAHAH
respect.

[champcar99]

So did you fist her? Anal or Vag?

Vag and I couldnt get my fist all the way in....hahahahahahah

[IronRobi]

Vag and I couldnt get my fist all the way in....hahahahahahah

What a poser!! couldn't even take your whole fist!! hahaha

[MIAGIONJUS]

Met a married women online: "my husband doesn't give me enough, so I told him if he doesn't give me more than I am getting I will go elsewhere"

she is so hungry for my &^&^ ...it's like she's in love with it...lol...
going to keep her around for a while....

This one is about maybe 3 weeks ago:
I met her online, she was funny, kinda cute...We met for drinks and within 45 mins back at her place...she says " You want to fist me"....hahahahahah..

HAHAHAHA, that is fukin classic!!! i need to find me a girl like that!!

[beserker]

Hahaha when i was 19 i banged some older girl..... well when i was done she told me she had kids older than me ............... F**K yeah i joined the 40plus at 19....yeah i know kinda sick but whatever she wanted it

[pseclint]

used these lines myself here:

"can i buy you a drink or do you just want the money"---> this line actually worked, i recommend you guys try it

also
"what has 137 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!" this one i try not to use too much becuase i am basically setting the girl up for a huge dissapointment

[leeroy]

lol good thread

[bigben]

A guy I know told me about a blind date he was set up on. He's the most callous self centred bastard you'll ever meet. He introduces himself to the girl who is waiting for him at this restaurant, takes a look at her and says, I can tell you right now that this isn't going to work, so lets just cut our losses and call it a night. Shit, that I could simply not do. Way too rude for my liking, even if it was efficient. On the other hand, maybe saved her some grief and disappointment as well. Each to their own.

[BigWheel]

"Why dont you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart"

[Bowlcut]

"Why dont you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart"

This one has to be the best one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1XOfHax6Q8

[beserker]

used these lines myself here:

"can i buy you a drink or do you just want the money"---> this line actually worked, i recommend you guys try it


YOU FUC***G RIGHT IT WORKS!!!!!! Hahaha thanks pseclint that cheese got me a piece last night !!!!!!!!!!!!! Tried it thinking that it would never work , well it did ! Fuc***g broad scratched the shit out of my back though grrrrrr , oh well another smashed hole to add to the list :)