Aar0n
10-01-2010, 11:45 AM
I just ended my relationship of 1.5 years with a nice girl who I had lots of fun with.
First off, I want to say that I am 24 years old. My Girlfriend (ex) is 27 years old.
The beginning was very rocky. Continous problems. Situations arising. LAck of communications. Off and on relationship. All that fun stuff. It wasn't untill the past few months where we were really able to know the boundries of eachother, which in the end, kind of illiminated some of the problems.
The main issue of this relationship wasn't because she was a bad lover. Or, she didn't give me any attention, or, didn't treat me right. Or, that I wasn't getting any intimincy. The main issue was the fact that there was a bit of a love triangle.
I will explain. My girlfriend (or should i say EX girlfriend) is 27 years old. She has two boys of 5 and 7. Not only that. She has been married. Seperated for approx. 4 years. I don't know a hell of a lot of her previous marriage. But I do know from what she shared with me is that it was a bit of a nightmare.
When I look back, I do in some sence feel that we rushed things. I moved into her house with her boys after 2 months... Due to circumstances on my end. We talked about marriage...Travelling and even children.
Anyways... back to the story.
The biggest problem I had was the social communication and interaction between my girlfriend and her ex husband. The phone calls. The texts messeging. His name always being brought up over conversation...The comments and insults he would fill her and the childrens ears with reflecting me being in the enironment with his children. Me not being right for her. Him harrassing her every time we did the children exchange. Not only did he make me uncomfortable... He made everyone in this circle feel low.
The bottom line is.. He wanted her back. And he wanted his whole family back. And he showed this by displaying disrespectful behaviour- always calling her phone, text messaging etc.
Did I have insecurities about the relationship, yes. Many. And I felt this way because of him always being in the picture and his name always being brought up and the way he influenced everyone's emotions.
Do I have any concers or questions about her leaving me to go back to the Ex. Absolutely not. Why? Because he is not stable. He is well in his 30's. Makes under 30,000 a year. Rents a room. Doesn't have his liscence. Has no education. Works to pay for child support. He's just not really going anywhere to say the least.
In my opinion, I don't care how madly inlove you are with another person. I think that whenever there is a 3rd party attached to the relationship , wether it be an ex wife or ex huaband.. The relationship will have circulating problems, and or, will not work out.
On a side note. If the EX husband had more respect and didn't cross his territory\boundries, things obviously would of been a lot healther.
Throughout the whole relationship i encouraged the EX to see his children. I wanted the children to see the dad more. I had no problems..
But on his side, he wanted me out of the picture.
So really, all of this clearly clashes and conflicts with everyone...
I just couldn't do it anymore.
Living in a house with someone you don't know too well can be challenging.
Moving into a house where young children are involved is very challenging.
Has anyone ever been in this type of situation?
Are you in this type of situation now?
How are you making it work ?
First off, I want to say that I am 24 years old. My Girlfriend (ex) is 27 years old.
The beginning was very rocky. Continous problems. Situations arising. LAck of communications. Off and on relationship. All that fun stuff. It wasn't untill the past few months where we were really able to know the boundries of eachother, which in the end, kind of illiminated some of the problems.
The main issue of this relationship wasn't because she was a bad lover. Or, she didn't give me any attention, or, didn't treat me right. Or, that I wasn't getting any intimincy. The main issue was the fact that there was a bit of a love triangle.
I will explain. My girlfriend (or should i say EX girlfriend) is 27 years old. She has two boys of 5 and 7. Not only that. She has been married. Seperated for approx. 4 years. I don't know a hell of a lot of her previous marriage. But I do know from what she shared with me is that it was a bit of a nightmare.
When I look back, I do in some sence feel that we rushed things. I moved into her house with her boys after 2 months... Due to circumstances on my end. We talked about marriage...Travelling and even children.
Anyways... back to the story.
The biggest problem I had was the social communication and interaction between my girlfriend and her ex husband. The phone calls. The texts messeging. His name always being brought up over conversation...The comments and insults he would fill her and the childrens ears with reflecting me being in the enironment with his children. Me not being right for her. Him harrassing her every time we did the children exchange. Not only did he make me uncomfortable... He made everyone in this circle feel low.
The bottom line is.. He wanted her back. And he wanted his whole family back. And he showed this by displaying disrespectful behaviour- always calling her phone, text messaging etc.
Did I have insecurities about the relationship, yes. Many. And I felt this way because of him always being in the picture and his name always being brought up and the way he influenced everyone's emotions.
Do I have any concers or questions about her leaving me to go back to the Ex. Absolutely not. Why? Because he is not stable. He is well in his 30's. Makes under 30,000 a year. Rents a room. Doesn't have his liscence. Has no education. Works to pay for child support. He's just not really going anywhere to say the least.
In my opinion, I don't care how madly inlove you are with another person. I think that whenever there is a 3rd party attached to the relationship , wether it be an ex wife or ex huaband.. The relationship will have circulating problems, and or, will not work out.
On a side note. If the EX husband had more respect and didn't cross his territory\boundries, things obviously would of been a lot healther.
Throughout the whole relationship i encouraged the EX to see his children. I wanted the children to see the dad more. I had no problems..
But on his side, he wanted me out of the picture.
So really, all of this clearly clashes and conflicts with everyone...
I just couldn't do it anymore.
Living in a house with someone you don't know too well can be challenging.
Moving into a house where young children are involved is very challenging.
Has anyone ever been in this type of situation?
Are you in this type of situation now?
How are you making it work ?