View Full Version : Would you consider this cheating?
I have been with my current gf for 2 years. We've had some ups and downs, but for the past couple of months everything seems to be going great.
Last night, she was over at my place, and when she left, she forgot to log out of her email. And yeah I snooped. Probably shouldn't have, but I did it.
Back in October she sent some random guys on craigslist from the "men seeking women" section her photo and a hey i'm so and so. There were no more sent messages other than 2 or 3 to one guy, and the last one was "Sorry but i think you wanted something that i didn't."
This sort of bugs me, but I know we were a bit rocky, but I was working on relationship, and here she was looking for other options.
What would you do? Should I tell her what I did and what I found and how it upsets me? Or just drop it?
MMASTAR
30-12-2009, 10:42 AM
if you tell her you snooped it is over, maybe not right away but eventually it will be, so if you decide its over be the one to say goodbye, but no mention of the message, and if you feel like you want to stay together you will have to put this behind you and truly forget about it.. but than again did you see my last thread? i should not be giving relationship advice...
LIVEHARD
30-12-2009, 10:43 AM
I have been with my current gf for 2 years. We've had some ups and downs, but for the past couple of months everything seems to be going great.
Last night, she was over at my place, and when she left, she forgot to log out of her email. And yeah I snooped. Probably shouldn't have, but I did it.
Back in October she sent some random guys on craigslist from the "men seeking women" section her photo and a hey i'm so and so. There were no more sent messages other than 2 or 3 to one guy, and the last one was "Sorry but i think you wanted something that i didn't."
This sort of bugs me, but I know we were a bit rocky, but I was working on relationship, and here she was looking for other options.
What would you do? Should I tell her what I did and what I found and how it upsets me? Or just drop it?
Thats a tough call !! My new lady had a few open doors when we met I said my peace and she closed them. Do you trust her ?? If I was in yous shoes I would ask her how she feels !
things were rough with you guys, sounds like she was just shopping around and lucky for you didn't find a better deal...i would just forget about it its smooth sailing now
on the other hand.... CRAIGSLIST?? REALLY?????
heres the hierarchy of where to meet women/men, starting at the top:
1 - through friends
2 - store/coffeshop/bookstore
3 - at the bar
4 - dating websites
5 - funerals
6 - crackhouse parties
7 - rehab
8 - escort service
9 - craigslist
as far as the snooping part, i know she would have done the same thing, and i think most people would. She's left it open more than once, but i never checked in the past, always gave her that privacy.
Weird thing for me, Is i don't know if i can ever trust ANYONE 100%. I never have in the past. I was once told it was a "low confidence" thing, but I disagree. I think just more of a realist.
So I am having a hard time with this if its ME, or HER that is the real problem.
Even myself, I surf plenty of fish once in a while, or chat up a cutie at a coffee shop, so am I any better?
And I guess could ad, it was only one day she did this. Maybe she had a couple glasses of wine and was just playing around on the internet out of boredom?
countrychic
30-12-2009, 11:01 AM
I don't know....tuff call, I would have to say somthing it would eat me up, it's a dating site..... and the same for you if your happy with your woman why are you even on flenty of fish?
Having a glass of wine and playing on the computer wouldn't push me to craigslist or a dating site for that matter.
Rocky times or not.......
ironwill
30-12-2009, 11:05 AM
I don't know....tuff call, I would have to say somthing it would eat me up, it's a dating site..... and the same for you if your happy with your woman why are you even on flenty of fish?
Having a glass of wine and playing on the computer wouldn't push me to craigslist or a dating site for that matter.
Rocky times or not.......
no but you would be surfin porn with your wine glass in hand....lol
vakker
30-12-2009, 11:22 AM
Having a glass of wine and playing on the computer wouldn't push me to craigslist or a dating site for that matter.
Rocky times or not.......
bang on!
rickyboy36
30-12-2009, 11:29 AM
I agree with MMSTAR..for some reason women are allowed to snoop..but holy shit,dont get caught doing it to them cause then your ****ed!!The thing is if you tell her you snooped,she will either say goodbye or she wont trust you again and this will cause future problems.And beleive me,if she stays shes going to nag you with that for months on end.But on the other hand,this would eat me inside like CC said and i would have to do something about it.
But lets be honest though.Say you tell her--what is she going to tell you anyways??She'll lie her way out of it and try to find a way to make you feel guilty and blame the whole matter on you anways.I dont know man..
Its a tough call.Overall its going to depend on your own values..
turboturist
30-12-2009, 11:33 AM
The thing that would bug me is that she was intending to cheat by looking at the site. For me that is worse than the cheating as that was her intention.
Someone ****s up and has an indiscretion would be easier for me to forgive than someone actively looking for it.
Although you looking with her knowledge would not be an easy one for me to forgive either.
I don't know....tuff call, I would have to say somthing it would eat me up, it's a dating site..... and the same for you if your happy with your woman why are you even on flenty of fish?
Having a glass of wine and playing on the computer wouldn't push me to craigslist or a dating site for that matter.
Rocky times or not.......
See that's what I worry about, I know it will eat me up for sure.
I should clarify, I don't have a plenty of fish membership, I look for people I know on there or just for "junk food for the brain" type stuff, i've never even used a dating site in my life I just find them interesting
g to read.
I think I'm going to have to tell her I saw it and just see what happens.
Van Zan
30-12-2009, 12:39 PM
I would just keep an eye on a her for a while. Also you could start some ruckus between the two of you and monitor her activity. That will give you enough info on rather or not to keep her in the future if trouble arise.
If she is doing that now she will certainly want a way out in the futre when time are tough again.
BIGABOY
30-12-2009, 04:50 PM
no but you would be surfin porn with your wine glass in hand....lol
HAHAHA thats a loaded statment, i wont comment cause i know how strong CC is and she would kick my ass
countrychic
30-12-2009, 04:54 PM
HAHAHA thats a loaded statment, i wont comment cause i know how strong CC is and she would kick my ass
lol well I see nothing wrong with that :) he's a happy boy when he gets home!
daande
30-12-2009, 05:35 PM
Install a keylogger on your computer and get her username and password to all of her shit and secretly login and see if shes a cheater (thats what I would do). What a normal person would tell you is to confront her and ruin your relationship over 2-3 emails with some random guy.
pseclint
30-12-2009, 05:57 PM
I would leave it alone, sounds like she was maybe unsure of her relationship..... maybe work on your relationship a bit.... take a look at it and see that you two are in the same place.... i would not confront her but take it as an early warning sign
monkey
30-12-2009, 06:18 PM
Ask your self that question
1) Are her actions bad enought to you that you are willing to risk your further relationship?? If they are, ask her.. if they aren't.. suck it up and put it behind you.
Questioning her about this.. WILL put the shit back onto your plate, and if it is not enough of a dealbreaker to you to be willing to risk your current happiness.. then suck it up!
My personal opinion... relax, she is still with you. You have no proof that she cheated on you, you only have proof that she thought about it and decided against it.
It is normal that people consider cheating in a relationship.. very normal. Unless you catch her, don't ruin your relationship through accusations
Be happy that she had an one tim exposure and that she decided against it.. if you can't adopt this state of mind, your relationship is doomed in the long run
PS: I have snooped, I have confronted women, it never ever resulted in a satisfying explanation.. I usually ended up being the ass.. and it has ruined things...My relationships are happier since I swallow my misstrust and jealousy.. and just secretly keep an eye open.
Having that said, keep an eye on her... it might be an indicator of a bigger problem.. you just have nothing against her
daande
30-12-2009, 06:50 PM
Ask your self that question
1) Are her actions bad enought to you that you are willing to risk your further relationship?? If they are, ask her.. if they aren't.. suck it up and put it behind you.
Questioning her about this.. WILL put the shit back onto your plate, and if it is not enough of a dealbreaker to you to be willing to risk your current happiness.. then suck it up!
My personal opinion... relax, she is still with you. You have no proof that she cheated on you, you only have proof that she thought about it and decided against it.
It is normal that people consider cheating in a relationship.. very normal. Unless you catch her, don't ruin your relationship through accusations
Be happy that she had an one tim exposure and that she decided against it.. if you can't adopt this state of mind, your relationship is doomed in the long run
PS: I have snooped, I have confronted women, it never ever resulted in a satisfying explanation.. I usually ended up being the ass.. and it has ruined things...My relationships are happier since I swallow my misstrust and jealousy.. and just secretly keep an eye open.
Having that said, keep an eye on her... it might be an indicator of a bigger problem.. you just have nothing against her
I think he is secretly telling you to install a keylogger and steal her passwords and then "keep and eye on her from there"
monkey
30-12-2009, 06:51 PM
I think he is secretly telling you to install a keylogger and steal her passwords and then "keep and eye on her from there"
Lol
CanadianIron
30-12-2009, 08:53 PM
Can her ass... she sounds like a low class hoe... I wouldnt date a girl that ever did anything like that.. **** her... guys that want relationships are rare... shes lucky to even have a guy if shes the type to use craigslist to find a man.... shes fishing for garbage when she has you... thats the hottest burn you could ever get.
rofl craigslist is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel. She must be desperate to cheat on you if she would go that low lol
daande
30-12-2009, 10:49 PM
rofl craigslist is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel. She must be desperate to cheat on you if she would go that low lol
True.
kloan
30-12-2009, 10:54 PM
things were rough with you guys, sounds like she was just shopping around and lucky for you didn't find a better deal...i would just forget about it its smooth sailing now
on the other hand.... CRAIGSLIST?? REALLY?????
heres the hierarchy of where to meet women/men, starting at the top:
1 - through friends
2 - store/coffeshop/bookstore
3 - at the bar
4 - dating websites
5 - funerals
6 - crackhouse parties
7 - rehab
8 - escort service
9 - craigslist
hahah.... it really is at the bottom isnt it. didnt women learn from that whole craigslist killer thing? geeze...
See that's what I worry about, I know it will eat me up for sure.
I should clarify, I don't have a plenty of fish membership, I look for people I know on there or just for "junk food for the brain" type stuff, i've never even used a dating site in my life I just find them interesting
g to read.
I think I'm going to have to tell her I saw it and just see what happens.
Haha that make you even with here.;)
But just see how it goes,before you drop the ball.
monkey
30-12-2009, 11:54 PM
I've played around on Craigslist... and the whole idead was a bit of fun and curiousity.. chances are she wasn't looking,, simply playing around bored..
Btw.. how is POF any better then Craigslist.. same idea..
CanadianIron
31-12-2009, 01:25 AM
People dont sell car parts on POF.
ab_chic25
31-12-2009, 02:00 AM
hahah.... it really is at the bottom isnt it. didnt women learn from that whole craigslist killer thing? geeze...
yeah but there was one on POF as well. Some 20some year old guy met and hacked up a 50+year old guy from meeting him on POF.....
Meh just wait and see......plus if she leaves it open then she is just asking for you to look anyways.
kloan
31-12-2009, 07:29 AM
yeah but there was one on POF as well. Some 20some year old guy met and hacked up a 50+year old guy from meeting him on POF.....
what for real? i never heard about it... man some people are messed up
rob66679
31-12-2009, 08:57 AM
I have been with my current gf for 2 years. We've had some ups and downs, but for the past couple of months everything seems to be going great.
Last night, she was over at my place, and when she left, she forgot to log out of her email. And yeah I snooped. Probably shouldn't have, but I did it.
Back in October she sent some random guys on craigslist from the "men seeking women" section her photo and a hey i'm so and so. There were no more sent messages other than 2 or 3 to one guy, and the last one was "Sorry but i think you wanted something that i didn't."
This sort of bugs me, but I know we were a bit rocky, but I was working on relationship, and here she was looking for other options.
What would you do? Should I tell her what I did and what I found and how it upsets me? Or just drop it?
IMHO.... You already know how this is gonna end.
Theres a big difference between surfing a site, and creating an account and corrosponding with potential hookups.
IF....IF.... She had met someone she liked things might have worked out differently, and for all you know maybe they did and she covered her tracks.
IMHO she already cheated, and will again. Its either in someones character or its not.
So if shes just a sperm receptacle, maybe thats OK.
If its serious, be carefull bro.
countrychic
31-12-2009, 11:17 AM
Meh just wait and see......plus if she leaves it open then she is just asking for you to look anyways.
The way I look at it is....if you have a solid relationship and you trust each other then you should be able to ask and talk about it, if she isn't doing anything wrong then she shouldn't get offensive. If a person has nothing to hide then it shouldn't matter if the email is left open or not, it's when the defensiveness comes that I would be questioning it.
dremen
31-12-2009, 12:22 PM
I have been with my current gf for 2 years. We've had some ups and downs, but for the past couple of months everything seems to be going great.
Last night, she was over at my place, and when she left, she forgot to log out of her email. And yeah I snooped. Probably shouldn't have, but I did it.
Back in October she sent some random guys on craigslist from the "men seeking women" section her photo and a hey i'm so and so. There were no more sent messages other than 2 or 3 to one guy, and the last one was "Sorry but i think you wanted something that i didn't."
This sort of bugs me, but I know we were a bit rocky, but I was working on relationship, and here she was looking for other options.
What would you do? Should I tell her what I did and what I found and how it upsets me? Or just drop it?
Ditch the bitch man, ****ing **** was on YOUR computer looking at OTHER guys while you were STILL together.
Kick that bitch's ass to the curb my friend cause it sounds like she's just going to hurt you in the end.
Then again does she swallow? If so maybe keep her around a tad longer:D
it's not cheating........yet
would be hard to trust after that.
You think he knows everything shes done? While shes not on CL she is probably hooking up with guys she meets at the bus station, or methadone clinic on her way to work lol
CanadianIron
31-12-2009, 03:03 PM
it's not cheating........yet
would be hard to trust after that.
If you went to a terrorist website and dropped a line offering your services in north america to blow some shit up, but you havent done it yet... you can still go to jail for conspiracy....
This is conspiracy to cheat... she's a loser. If you went to a club and fished for a one night stand, she would flip out, even if you failed at nailing anyone.
if i cheated on my gf but now i feel guilty and want to stay with her, should i kill myself, cheat again or break up?
rob66679
01-01-2010, 09:53 AM
If you went to a terrorist website and dropped a line offering your services in north america to blow some shit up, but you havent done it yet... you can still go to jail for conspiracy....
This is conspiracy to cheat... she's a loser. If you went to a club and fished for a one night stand, she would flip out, even if you failed at nailing anyone.
^^^^^^^ Great post.
Agreed 100%, reps for you.
If you went to a terrorist website and dropped a line offering your services in north america to blow some shit up, but you havent done it yet... you can still go to jail for conspiracy....
This is conspiracy to cheat... she's a loser. If you went to a club and fished for a one night stand, she would flip out, even if you failed at nailing anyone.
sure it's conspiracy to cheat, I'd dump her in a heart beat as i wouldn't be able to trust her after that and I'm a little paranoid and possessive to begin with
but conspiracy and actually committing the act are different types of events
if the OP had seen pics of some guy balls deep in his GF he wouldn't be posting here wondering if he should be upset or not lol.
CanadianIron
01-01-2010, 01:54 PM
Obviously it would have been worse if she actually cheated, but she took a few steps towards that and IMO she isnt a very respectable woman. I dunno, im a pretty possesive dude, its all or nothing with me, I expect the same commitment from my girl that she can expect from me.
natenator
01-01-2010, 01:57 PM
Possessive or obsessive? I bet you get jealous if anyone looks her way...
CanadianIron
01-01-2010, 02:04 PM
Honestly, I've been with my girl for so long that I forget how hot she is, I always feel complimented when guys check her out. I'd concider her a trophy wife, I dont chain her down at all. Guys can look, they just can't touch or make derogitory remarks.
NYL12
06-01-2010, 07:15 PM
I have been with my current gf for 2 years. We've had some ups and downs, but for the past couple of months everything seems to be going great.
Last night, she was over at my place, and when she left, she forgot to log out of her email. And yeah I snooped. Probably shouldn't have, but I did it.
Back in October she sent some random guys on craigslist from the "men seeking women" section her photo and a hey i'm so and so. There were no more sent messages other than 2 or 3 to one guy, and the last one was "Sorry but i think you wanted something that i didn't."
This sort of bugs me, but I know we were a bit rocky, but I was working on relationship, and here she was looking for other options.
What would you do? Should I tell her what I did and what I found and how it upsets me? Or just drop it?
I say don't tell her, it will only blow up on you. But question, how would you feel if you happen to see her talking to a buch of guys at a bar or club, but saw that nothing happend. Would you still be worried? Sounds like that is what happed here but on the computer. The computer is a great place to reach out to people with out really reaching out. They dont know you and many times you can be someone a little different than you rally are.
I would not worry to much about it unless you see other signs, but do not tell her, because no matter how wrong they may be it will all be your fault for spying.
Shaun
13-01-2010, 11:59 AM
Can her ass... she sounds like a low class hoe... I wouldnt date a girl that ever did anything like that.. **** her... guys that want relationships are rare... shes lucky to even have a guy if shes the type to use craigslist to find a man.... shes fishing for garbage when she has you... thats the hottest burn you could ever get.
x2
I am not even going to read the rest of the thread after this. I have dealt with cheaters. EVERY one i have had there has been a warning sign like this. EVERY one that hadnt it was always smooth sailing.
There is no degree of scandalous when it comes to woman. They either are, or they arn't. Yours is.
Dip penis in sand. Insert in vag. When she cries about it tell her you know about the craiglist and you were just letting her know what it feels like to be dissrespected.
Dip penis in sand. Insert in vag.
Screaming Seagull..classic
First, I wouldn’t ignore it; I would confront her and raise some very serious questions. Most important thing in a good relationship is trust and communication. I wish you good luck.
warlock
14-01-2010, 08:36 PM
...
Maria
18-01-2010, 12:45 AM
Most people would close their email when they are done if it's private. Sounds like she left hers open for a reason.
MikeyFXD35
19-01-2010, 03:19 PM
Sound like an emotional affair.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=8319153
bigpapapump2016
25-01-2010, 04:56 PM
Bro ditch that girl right now. The intent was there, thats ****ing dirt ball. Get'r done
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