View Full Version : Can i get my cash back?
megwell
26-12-2009, 10:37 PM
I was with my girlfriend for a while.......even lived together for 1 1/2 years.... I paid off her line of credit.............. she always told me she's pay me back,...
2 months after it was paid off i broke up with her because she drove me nuts....
now i never had her write down saying that she'd pay me back......
there is proof that i paid off her LOC because i signed for the cash payments..
i've had a couple of people tell me to get a lawyer to go after her....
without any promisary "i'll pay you back" letter......... can i go after her for it?
gregdoucette
26-12-2009, 10:58 PM
I here ya and no ur screwed take my work for it, trust me dont waste money on a lawyer.
gicantor
26-12-2009, 11:01 PM
If it's less than a few grand it's not worth the headaches. I say move on.......
A verbal agreement is legally binding in contract law. If I were you I'd take it to Small Claims Court. You write your own statement of claim and it's not expensive to file. Put her on the stand for examination and the judge will sort out the facts and make a ruling. :)
CanadianIron
26-12-2009, 11:04 PM
How much was it, and WHY..? Just why?!
megwell
26-12-2009, 11:10 PM
over 10.
i will be talking to a lawyer about this....
my concern is this too.....
seeing that we were living to gether for over a year and a half.... i believe that makes it common law........ and ...... would she be able to go for my pension while we were living together?
over 10.
i will be talking to a lawyer about this....
my concern is this too.....
seeing that we were living to gether for over a year and a half.... i believe that makes it common law........ and ...... would she be able to go for my pension while we were living together?
Ok, now you've walked into the quagmire of hell. Yes, it is common law, and yes, she can go after part of your pension. Further, the whole matter now becomes an issue of matrimonial property which can not be filed in small claims. In every province but BC there is a presumption of equal contribution to marital assets, thus you will only get a small portion of what you paid, if anything at all. Lawyers fees alone for a property division issue will be over $10,000 and it's highly unlikely you'll be awarded costs.
megwell
26-12-2009, 11:24 PM
**** me
kloan
26-12-2009, 11:39 PM
I think they should abolish common law marriage.... it's just another way to **** a guy over for his money.
gicantor
26-12-2009, 11:42 PM
I think they should abolish common law marriage.... it's just another way to **** a guy over for his money.
True. It's an old law and should be re-written. Women are independent now so let them go ****ing be independent and earn there own money.
rob66679
27-12-2009, 06:49 AM
Ok, now you've walked into the quagmire of hell. Yes, it is common law, and yes, she can go after part of your pension. Further, the whole matter now becomes an issue of matrimonial property which can not be filed in small claims. In every province but BC there is a presumption of equal contribution to marital assets, thus you will only get a small portion of what you paid, if anything at all. Lawyers fees alone for a property division issue will be over $10,000 and it's highly unlikely you'll be awarded costs.
You Sir, are a wise man.
I think anything past 6 months is considered common-law. At which point everything comes into play, pensions, posessions, and spousal support is she doesn't make what you do.
A co-habitation agreement drawn up by a Lawyer is WAYYYYYYY cheaper.....
Chunk
27-12-2009, 10:38 AM
my .02 on "common-law marriage": it's horse shit.
Technically, I'm seeing if this person is marriage material by moving in with him/her and I'm being punished for it...what kind of backwards ass law is that? People change after they've lived together: FACT. Why should I lose half of my assets because I decided after 2 years of fake marriage that I wasn't in love anymore and this person was not marriage material.
The whole 50/50 split thing pisses me off to no end regardless of common law or married...particularly in the cases where one of the spouses brings up the standard of living in the other (one has a great job, the other doesn't work)...for some reason, the one who committed all of the money to the relationship has to keep the other one living up to his standard just because he/she was doing well enough to have the other person stay at home.
I'm sorry if it seems sexist...but if you didn't earn the money, you aren't entitled to it...and I don't want to hear about the sacrifices for the family, because it's bullshit. Everyone in today's world is capable of being successful regardless of where they are in life, and just because one person in a relationship spent 5 years raising a kid at home does not mean they are entitled to 50% of the other person's earnings and possessions. I am a firm believer that a homemaker is a job but that doesn't mean the person bringing in the money should be punished because he/she earned enough money to make life easier for the couple...
As you can tell, this hits home with me. I am a very possessive person, and it pisses me off to no end that the things I put 100% of the money into could be taken away from me for no good reason even though I'm making less money (not that my relationship is like that, i mean theoretically). I know people who make 6 figures and can potentially be millionaires in under 10 years from now and don't make their spouses work because it feels good for them to support their family...but all of their good will and willingness to work hard so no one else has to can be shit on and they can have half of everything they've worked so hard for and gave so much up for (missing kids growing up) for their family taken away for no good reason.
i know, i'm an asshole.
MMASTAR
27-12-2009, 10:48 AM
I think moving in togeher is important in a relationship to see if the two of you can functoin as a couple before getting married. I also think that the whole common law thing is ****ing bullshit. Why should you get half my shit just because you came to live in my house? Just because i was generous enough to take care of you for 6 months of your life you think you can have half my shit? and you want me to write you checks so you can continue to live like a queen?? **** you!! if this ever happened to me (AGAIN FOR **** SAKES!!) i will dig a nice deep hole instead. BELIVE IT!!
Chunk
27-12-2009, 11:03 AM
I think moving in togeher is important in a relationship to see if the two of you can functoin as a couple before getting married. I also think that the whole common law thing is ****ing bullshit. Why should you get half my shit just because you came to live in my house? Just because i was generous enough to take care of you for 6 months of your life you think you can have half my shit? and you want me to write you checks so you can continue to live like a queen?? **** you!! if this ever happened to me (AGAIN FOR **** SAKES!!) i will dig a nice deep hole instead. BELIVE IT!!
good, i'm not the only one!
you should be classified common-law after 3-5 years, not 1/2 a year. I think that it's pretty fair to say that you should know whether you're going to marry a person after that amount of time...but there are also people who don't really believe in marriage (i'm one - could be because of my broken home though) The 50% thing is horse shit though...you should get out what you put in...spousal support is for the weak...child support is the only support that one should get, and in any case the person not making money shouldn't get the children anyways! there is eventually someone hiring, and the government has programs to support you until then. There is no such thing as inequality anymore unless is racism (how ****ing long before that crap goes away?!) and there is no excuse to have an ex keep a roof over your head...you get divorced for a reason...and correct me if i'm wrong, but it's not to keep a link between the two of you.
gicantor
27-12-2009, 11:18 AM
^^^In Ontario it's 3 years
The Ontario Family Law Act specifically recognizes common-law spouses in sec. 29, dealing with spousal support issues; the requirements are living together for no less than three years[8] or having a child in common and having "cohabitated in a relationship of some permanence". The three years must be continuous, although a breakup of a few days during the period will not affect a person's status as common-law.
MMASTAR
27-12-2009, 11:55 AM
3 years is smart... easy enought to know if its going to work in that time..
warlock
27-12-2009, 12:48 PM
I think moving in togeher is important in a relationship to see if the two of you can functoin as a couple before getting married. I also think that the whole common law thing is ****ing bullshit. Why should you get half my shit just because you came to live in my house? Just because i was generous enough to take care of you for 6 months of your life you think you can have half my shit? and you want me to write you checks so you can continue to live like a queen?? **** you!! if this ever happened to me (AGAIN FOR **** SAKES!!) i will dig a nice deep hole instead. BELIVE IT!!
That's eh reason that moving in woth someone that you are in a relationship for less than 2 years is retarded and moving in with someone that can't self-support is idiotic.
Ps. some exceptions may apply.
physique
27-12-2009, 01:59 PM
megs. quit thinking with your dick and use that thing on top of your shoulders for once.
megwell
27-12-2009, 02:04 PM
megs. quit thinking with your dick and use that thing on top of your shoulders for once.
i hate you............. but you speak the truth sir.
i was with her for 3 years though....... so it did look like we were going somewhere
Ritch
27-12-2009, 03:30 PM
I like gicantor and chunks views here.
nisser
27-12-2009, 06:34 PM
You lived (together) for long enough to be considered common-law I think. It's a wash.
t-bone
27-12-2009, 10:32 PM
he does live in bc so living together for that time does not equate to splitting things half half.... the amout she owes in over 10k and neither have lots of assets so i told megs its def worth talking to a lawyer about. plus i would do it just to make her get a lawyer and **** her over
he does live in bc so living together for that time does not equate to splitting things half half.... the amout she owes in over 10k and neither have lots of assets so i told megs its def worth talking to a lawyer about. plus i would do it just to make her get a lawyer and **** her over
In BC common law assets become a matter of proving a constructive trust. It also has to be filed in BC Supreme Court. I don't know a lawyer who will touch the issue without a $5000 retainer. Sometimes it's better to look at it as a learning experience and move on.
My understanding is that they only lived together for 1 1/2 years which is under the two year requirement in BC. However, that time frame will have to be factually proved. You could try small claims meg but I doubt they'll file your claim. Still doesn't hurt to try. Going to the BC Supreme Court will cost a lot of money.
waderow
27-12-2009, 11:08 PM
okay.... you left here high and dry, after willfully paying off her debts as you lived common law. She did nothing to cause you to leave her except drive you insane....
Leave the poor girl alone.
rickyboy36
28-12-2009, 12:07 AM
Hey bro..if im not mistaken,you can bring her to small claims court(cases that are under a certain amount.Im not sure what that is,but im sure its enough for you).
It will cost you 50$ or so.You present the case yourself in front of the judge as does she.Almost like what you see on TV with judge judy.The thing is,if she doesnt show up on the due date,you win automatically.
My friend got his 1000$ back that he had lent to his ex gf that way.If she does show up,unless she a very very good liar,the judge is usually good in decerning whos lying and whos telling the truth
If she really did promise to pay you back,then go ****ing get her.Who cares if you were living with her or not.Money is money and a promise is a promise.
Goodluck!
megwell
28-12-2009, 12:38 AM
okay.... you left here high and dry, after willfully paying off her debts as you lived common law. She did nothing to cause you to leave her except drive you insane....
Leave the poor girl alone.
i take it your her new boyfriend.
daande
28-12-2009, 01:47 PM
I would be careful on this one due to the common law situation you could end up losing more in the end. Talk to a lawyer maybe and see if its worth it.
pseclint
28-12-2009, 01:59 PM
i take it your her new boyfriend.
lol....
JacktheThriller
28-12-2009, 11:39 PM
why dont u call her and ask her for installments cuz u need the money and dont want to have to go to small claims to get your money
Big D
29-12-2009, 12:04 AM
what a shitty situation.
live and learn I guess
pw154
29-12-2009, 01:07 AM
What kind of terms are you on with her now? If they're not bad you should call and politely ask for your money back. If she keeps blowing you off tell her you've got the receipts and a lawyer that will back you in small claims court. Hopefully she is not smart enough to invoke her own lawyer.
megwell
29-12-2009, 01:13 AM
she changed her phone number...... so i can't contact her
pw154
29-12-2009, 01:20 AM
she changed her phone number...... so i can't contact herFacebook/myspace/msn/email... try any of those outlets? I'd definitely try to get her to hand over that money. She's a POS for not paying it back or even mentioning it on her own. She essentially stole $10,000 from you. I'd do everything I could to get it back.
she changed her phone number...... so i can't contact her
I feel bad for ya bro,sometimes it better just to walk away,and if PHD said she can come for your Pension,wow.Well if you can ever come into contact with her ask her for some coin and tell you are not doing well,make her feel bad for ya,but i don't think you will get your money back.I do know a friend who got back his 5 grand,so anything is possible and it took 2 years.
beserker
30-12-2009, 02:55 PM
FFS !! I feel for you as i have been ****ed over in a similar way....... Common law is a sick ****ing joke . I would suggest just trying to be nice , sit down with her (if this is possible) and in a friendly way try to get your cash , if this absolutely wont work she is a scumsucking bloodfart and maybe just chalk it up as a huge loss (thats what i had to do). It sucks balls but if you dwell on it you will drive yourself insane.....not worth it . Hope the best for you bro !
Ritch
30-12-2009, 10:05 PM
Time to send the collectors bro. Some will do it for less than you think. **** this shit, get your money. She`s screwed you over and knows it. Don`t let her get away with it.
rofl megs poor guy. With your luck I would of turned gay by now lol
megwell
31-12-2009, 12:11 AM
rofl megs poor guy. With your luck I would of turned gay by now lol
thanks for the vote of confidence
K for u
turboturist
31-12-2009, 01:48 AM
I think your crazy if you pursue this, especially if the common law thing comes into play. You try and take her to court to get 10k out of her so she plays hard ball and starts trying to divvy things up. You mentioned your pension.....
Let it go man if she is not doing anything to contact you, you will be farther ahead in the long run.
natenator
31-12-2009, 03:46 AM
Hate to say it but she did nothing wrong. It doesn't appear as though she asked Megs to pay her debt off and she didn't leave him.
Sure are some serious women haters on this board. Maybe if some of you guys weren't such douchebags then maybe you'd have met quality women by now? Karma is a bitch ;)
Ritch
31-12-2009, 10:38 AM
So you wouldn`t be pissed if that happened to you Nate?
natenator
31-12-2009, 05:15 PM
So you wouldn`t be pissed if that happened to you Nate?
I'd be pissed at myself for giving her the money in the first place. The way megs tells the story she did nothing wrong and HE kicked her to the curb. She didn't ask him to pay then leave him once it was paid.
Ritch
31-12-2009, 05:31 PM
^^^ Fair enough, lesson learned I guess, but still madening as ****...
gicantor
31-12-2009, 05:41 PM
Either way you end up paying for pussy. Weather it be a hooker or girlfriend. Have a girlfriend is just a legal form of prostitution. You take them out for dinner, a movie, buy them shoes and hope they **** you at the end of the night. Or you can bang a hooker and pay her to leave. But either way, your paying.
Ritch
31-12-2009, 05:51 PM
^^^ Ha ha ha... With my gf`s everything is even. I don`t fall into that shit of paying for everything. They actually give me more gifts than I do to them! But my shit dosen`t cost much either...
Ritch
31-12-2009, 05:56 PM
It`s even my belief that if a girl isn`t happy with the "volume" of gifts she gets at Christmas, Valentine`s, her birthday and a few surprises here and there, she`s materialistic. If you want to and can give more and know she`s "the one" then that`s cool as she`s worth it. But man I feel sorry for guys who are with a chick, pay her implants to be dumped a few months later...
CanadianIron
31-12-2009, 08:31 PM
Bust out your best acting skills and prepare for the performance of a life time....
Start blobbing about how you miss her and you blew the love of your life and act like you really want her back. Put up a fake relationship for a little while and con the money back out of her. Then dump her. Tit for tat, even the score.
or,
IMO 10K is a small price to pay to find out shes NOT the one. Better than not giving her any money, getting married, having a kid and giving up 100K in child support while trying to have a life with your next girl. Chock it up to experience and move on. I've wasted 20-30K on cars and I have nothing to show, and my cars didnt have sex with me. Make a decision and put this behind you.
You could have been dating random girls over 3 years and easily have spent 10g's on gifts, food, booze, driving around etc trying to get laid. I know guys that supported their girls through 4-6 years of university and put 100K+ into them to support them and the girls took off once they lined up their careers, you were lucky. Think of how Tiger feels right now.
megwell
01-01-2010, 08:21 AM
Hate to say it but she did nothing wrong. It doesn't appear as though she asked Megs to pay her debt off and she didn't leave him.
Sure are some serious women haters on this board. Maybe if some of you guys weren't such douchebags then maybe you'd have met quality women by now? Karma is a bitch ;)
We were planning on moving ahead and buying a house...... she says " i don't want to buy a house until my line of credit is paid off"
Now she has told me many times that she'd pay me back once her ICBC settlement comes through........ which she is expecting a huge pay out.... this is a fact.
Why did i end it?
She started being a super bitch.......... starting fights for no reason.
giving me ultimatums to call her when she knew i was at work and i couldn't call her.
While living with her........ it's my sons birthday........... she comes home... my boy is happy to see her because he loves her............ she doesn't even acknowledge his birthday....... not even a hug........... just drives away...
goes out drinking and comes home at 3 30 in the morning..... (in my opinion that's a single persons life)
I ask here why she came home that late........she replies......... well you don't want me to drink and drive............
I've seen her almost fall out of a car that she's driven......... so ****ing drunk... i have maybe 4 drinks a year........ so this truely pissess me off for many reasons............. she promised me that she'd quit drinking.......
for the most part she was great........... but man............. at the end I just got fed up.
with her actions............ she decided to end the relationship.
I've never been so pissed off in my life........i've been steaming for months.... and thinking of everthing is just running me down.
I know i have a great chance of going forward with this but today I've decided to drop it............ i'm tired of being angry........ just want to move on...
and yes............. shame on her for being a ****ing bitch.
kloan
01-01-2010, 08:35 AM
you did that right thing. that was poison.. for you and your son. i'd kick someone like that to the curb as well.
CanadianIron
01-01-2010, 02:01 PM
I'd personally write the money off, you sound like an older guy who can make a dime, so in the big picture you can appreciate that 10K isnt that much money and for what its worth you should just forget it and if she ever comes around and offers to pay you back, take that as a bonus.
YYZgeddylee
01-01-2010, 09:08 PM
not ripping on you Megwell, this is directed to the readership.
Its not common law marriage that is the problem,
its peoples failure to understand "common law".
Do some research for yourselves. the info is out there.
(varies depending where you live)
http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/property-division.htm
http://www.common-law-separation-canada.com/property-division.htm
General principles are all well and good, but each province has different legislation and new precedents are arising all the time. I think the primary quote to take from that site is this:
NOTE: There is no simple formula to describe how property is divided upon common law separation in Canada. The law in this area is complex and unsettled. So, you need a skilled advocate on your side to ensure that you get the best possible result.
HoliTheCat
02-01-2010, 11:24 AM
A verbal agreement is legally binding in contract law. If I were you I'd take it to Small Claims Court. You write your own statement of claim and it's not expensive to file. Put her on the stand for examination and the judge will sort out the facts and make a ruling. :)
This. And of course you have to prove that the 'oral contract' existed in the first place.
Then the obvious question is, if she didn't have enough money to pay her loans in the first place, does she have the means to pay you back? Or will she need to garnish her wages of $100 a cheque over the course of 3 years? (type of deal)
HoliTheCat
02-01-2010, 11:28 AM
The requirements in some other provinces are as follows:
Canada
In Canada, the legal definition and regulation of common-law marriage fall under provincial jurisdiction. A couple must meet the requirements of their province's Marriage Act for their common-law marriage to be legally recognized.
According to the Canada Revenue Agency, as of 2007, a common-law relationship is true if at least one of the following applies:
a) the couple have been living in a conjugal relationship for at least 12 continuous months;
b) the couple are parents of a child by birth or adoption; or
c) one of the couple has custody and control of the child (or had custody and control immediately before the child turned 19 years of age) and the child is wholly dependent on that person for support.
For a full, up to date CRA description go here: Marital Status
In many cases common-law couples have the same rights as married couples under federal law. Various federal laws include "common-law status," which automatically takes effect once two people (of any gender) have lived together in a conjugal relationship for five full years. Common-law partners may be eligible for various federal government spousal benefits. As family law varies between provinces, there are differences between the provinces regarding the recognition of common-law marriage.
In British Columbia a person who has lived and cohabited with another person, for a period of at least 2 years is considered a common law spouse according to the "Estate Administration Act" [11]
simone
02-01-2010, 09:43 PM
I'd say just drop the 10G and move on.. you'll be happier in the end..
I got divorced, after only being married like 10 months... i am self employed, she has cushy government job.. i bought the house, i paid for the renos.. all the furniture...all that shit.. and we split up.. and instead of fighting for it, i just let her have the house and walked away so i could keep my business untouched and just move on and be happy...
i had the separation agreement signed and finalized within 30 days of splitting up...
it was without a doubt one of the best things i ever did...
CanadianIron
02-01-2010, 11:36 PM
Think of it like a business investment, if the business (relationship) tanks, concider the cash gone. Dont try and squeeze water out of a rock, waste of time.
megwell
03-01-2010, 12:44 AM
i decided a few days ago to "let it go".... i've almost stopped thinking about it........ and when i do....it's not as bad as it was.........needless to say i'm not dwelling about it and thus not so angry.
I'd say just drop the 10G and move on.. you'll be happier in the end..
I got divorced, after only being married like 10 months... i am self employed, she has cushy government job.. i bought the house, i paid for the renos.. all the furniture...all that shit.. and we split up.. and instead of fighting for it, i just let her have the house and walked away so i could keep my business untouched and just move on and be happy...
i had the separation agreement signed and finalized within 30 days of splitting up...
it was without a doubt one of the best things i ever did...
That proved to be an expensive 10 months of your life. I doubt I would be able to let it go. Kudos to you for self-control
Mr.Meat
03-01-2010, 12:51 PM
How long after you paid the last payment did she start acting like a complete biotch?
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