Would you...

[BBbox]

Give up steroids if your long-term gf threatened to leave you because of it?

[GYMBRAT]

gear is like my Harley, they both come first! ha..so **** no

[gicantor]

Nope. I learned that the hard way in my last relationship. Waste of a cycle. Cause then their ****ing gone and your left with nothing.

[Thorgrim]

If she has that much of a problem with it is she the right one?

On the flip side it is probably not a good idea to hide AAS use too far into a relationship.

[BBbox]

^^ can you determine whether shes the right one based on her acceptance of AAS use?

[Talo]

She should be able to except you for you ( I think that's what he meant ) .

[natenator]

know what I ffind funny? When they know you use... they have zero problems when you are banging them like a pornstar when you are on but once PCT hits and the odd libido issue hits (we all experience some drop off usually) then they have issues with your usage.

[Talo]

They think your A) cheating on them or B) Don't love them anymore . Because your not interested in sex as much as you were .

[BBbox]

mmm its more the actual on time she hates than the pct

[fitnurss]

has she told you why?

[BBbox]

she doesnt understand why I "need drugs to feel good about my body", also she knows how horny it makes you and we dont see each other very much so shes worried it'll make me want to "wander"

[Durk]

How can you wander when she keeps your junk locked in her purse?

[kloan]

How can you wander when she keeps your junk locked in her purse?

hahahaha.....


To summarize:
- She doesn't understand why you need to use drugs to improve your peformance: Reason to leave you? No.
- She's worried you'll cheat on her: Trust issues? Yep.

Women that make ultimatums like this are not worth the time and energy. It's all about 'unconditional love'. If she can't offer that, then she can **** off yeah?
..

[Durk]

Be more aloof about her bitching, and only hear the things you want to hear. Being overly accomodating to the point of being a doormat is only going to get you: cheated on, treated like crap, dumped anyways, or all three.

[BBbox]

the problem is for various reasons (of my idiocy) there is a lack of trust in our relationship i and somewhat "owe her" now....

She also doesnt see it as trying to "improve my performance" but as "trying to get huge to feel good about myself and impress people"

[kloan]

So what's wrong with wanting to get huge? Who cares about impressing people...

I've never been in this situation, but my feeling is that if she can't accept you and what you're about, and just wants to change you, then it's not worth the trouble. Unless you're madly in love with this chick, and you think there's a future for the two of you... I would explain why you use them, assure her you're going to remain faithful, and if she can't accept that, then the ball's in her court. The last thing I'd do is bend over.

Whatever happened in the past, should stay in the past. If you two have worked things out and have decided to give it another go, then you both have the responsibility to move forward and not use what happened in the past to use as leverage for whatever self-serving purpose there is. The only two points I've seen raised by her is that she thinks you're using for superficial reasons (who cares, it's your body), and she's worried you'll cheat on her. If she can't learn to trust you again, without putting ultimatums in front of you, then she's going to be more trouble down the road.... IMO.

[rickyboy36]

First off,were you using BEFORE you met her??If so then she has no say if she KNEW you were on..unless there are issues with you being on that constantly ****s things up between you and her.Example:agression,libido issues,always tired,never wanting to do anything..stuff like that.Then of course if you're being a prick i can understand her..

Second,even if you did have issues,the question is DO YOU LOVE HER AND IS SHE WORTH IT.If you do love her and you know shes the one..the STOP USING!!

[BBbox]

The problem is that im trying to gain her trust back which is looking like a its going to be a slow and painful process... anyways i feel like having to give shit up is part of gaining back the trust....?

[Durk]

the problem is for various reasons (of my idiocy) there is a lack of trust in our relationship i and somewhat "owe her" now....

She also doesnt see it as trying to "improve my performance" but as "trying to get huge to feel good about myself and impress people"

You owe her nothing, or else it already is a failed relationship because it will never be enough. You did that on a break, and you were dumb enough to let her know lol. If she dangles guilt over your head for one thing trust me when I say everything from now on will be blamed on that, and be used by her as justification for anything she might pull. Eventually she will either dump you or start cheating on you not because of that, but for the fact that you dont stand up for yourself, and she will most deffinately get bored of you for being her little puppet.

Damned if you do, damned if you dont lol.

[BBbox]

^^ it wasnt on a break that the trust was broken

it has nothing to do with being her puppet, im just trying to figure out how to properly gain back her trust at this point

[fitnurss]

OP if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

[daande]

You owe her nothing, or else it already is a failed relationship because it will never be enough. You did that on a break, and you were dumb enough to let her know lol. If she dangles guilt over your head for one thing trust me when I say everything from now on will be blamed on that, and be used by her as justification for anything she might pull. Eventually she will either dump you or start cheating on you not because of that, but for the fact that you dont stand up for yourself, and she will most deffinately get bored of you for being her little puppet.

Damned if you do, damned if you dont lol.

I agree with Durk on this one....Back when my ex and I got together in august and did a round two of "dating" I told her about only 2 girls I banged over the 6 months of us being broken up...I told her for two reasons:

1) She kept saying shit like shed love to see me try and pickup a girl like I couldn't do it.
2) I felt like I was coming cleaning by telling her about two and I didnt want to upset her with all of them around 14-16...

Anyways, throughout our entire time of "dating" from august - end of november she always ****ing brought it up sometimes she was like you know I should just **** two guys and we will call it even. She cried about it and a bunch of BS. Anytime I told her how I felt about her she said well why did you bang those two girls...Anytime I attempted to **** her and she wasnt in the mood she would say something like why dont you call one of those two girls you banged. etc etc... This is why I agree with Durk.

[BBbox]

^^ yah but throughout august-november you were posting about all the other chicks you were picking up so i think she had good reason

[BBbox]

OP if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

mid 20s

[daande]

^^ yah but throughout august-november you were posting about all the other chicks you were picking up so i think she had good reason

No all my stories were from shit that happened from like may-august when her and I got back I stopped all of that and cut off all the whores which I now regret doing. I should have just added her on the whore list haha.

[ab_chic25]

Anyways, throughout our entire time of "dating" from august - end of november she always ****ing brought it up sometimes she was like you know I should just **** two guys and we will call it even. She cried about it and a bunch of BS. Anytime I told her how I felt about her she said well why did you bang those two girls...Anytime I attempted to **** her and she wasnt in the mood she would say something like why dont you call one of those two girls you banged. etc etc... This is why I agree with Durk.[/QUOTE]


I honestly dont see how that crap matters really cause its not like you guys did it when you were "dating".........god this is what gives all women a bad name in a way........I honestly would be shocked if they didnt bang some random guy to prove to themselves that they were over you or didnt need you lol

Oh i say dump her if she is trying to change you, you are who you are and shouldnt have to change for anyone!

[CanadianIron]

I was talking to a friend recently about him not telling his WIFE about his AAS use, he'd been married over 10 years, his wife was a nurse and she didnt know. He had to "shoot up" in his car to hide it from her.

IMO steroid use is no ones business, unless someone is open to the idea you shouldnt tell them because they have an unfair biased towards them based on ignorant stigma... dont tell them.

And no I wouldnt give them up. At a certain point, giving up gear would be living stopping all progress/gains and effectively ending your BB goals... id probably quit working out and let myself turn into a cardio dude if I had to give up gear, I dont think I could accept myself as mediocre after being epic.

[Thorgrim]

She should be able to except you for you ( I think that's what he meant ) .

Yeah, That was what I was trying to convey.


the problem is for various reasons (of my idiocy) there is a lack of trust in our relationship i and somewhat "owe her" now....

She also doesnt see it as trying to "improve my performance" but as "trying to get huge to feel good about myself and impress people"

I would counter with, "I guess people that climb mount everest are just trying to feel good about themselves and impress people then. It has nothing to do with a passion for climbing."

[monkey]

Women gives me an ultimatum= Get the **** out ( easier said then done tho)

I had to deal with that in the past and will never have a women put an ultimatum on me.

1) Chances are quite big , it is not about steroid use, IT IS about power

2) You give in once, what comes next??

3) Once you fix this one issue... what is gonna bother her next?? the fact that you spend so much time in the gym instead of with her?

Dude, I am jsut coming out of a relationship that had ultimatums and complaints about my hobbies and lifestyle ( you have time for the gym but not me, i improved my body= insecurity on her side, I don't like you getting drunk, who knows what happens" etc...)

Chances are, it will never be enough. You do not want a women exerting control over you. ( They are human beings too as most will agree.. and humans simply like power, we all do)

So, after my life changin relationship.

****, no, I wouldn't . I wouldn't change or accept ultimatums... I will resent her and it is probably not going to help anyways.

[fitnurss]

I was talking to a friend recently about him not telling his WIFE about his AAS use, he'd been married over 10 years, his wife was a nurse and she didnt know. He had to "shoot up" in his car to hide it from her.

IMO steroid use is no ones business, unless someone is open to the idea you shouldnt tell them because they have an unfair biased towards them based on ignorant stigma... dont tell them.

And no I wouldnt give them up. At a certain point, giving up gear would be living stopping all progress/gains and effectively ending your BB goals... id probably quit working out and let myself turn into a cardio dude if I had to give up gear, I dont think I could accept myself as mediocre after being epic.

To me this is sad, you would hope after 10 years of marriage, a couple shares similar values and she can trust that her partner has made an educated decision on the matter.

I agree that steroid usage isn't something that should be discussed at Christmas dinner, but chances are, those who know enough about AAS can tell by your progress. I believe that it's not something people should hide from those who have a basic understanding and who won't judge (likely other people who are using or thinking of using) If more people would talk about it then there would be less idiots running stupid cycles and newbies could gain a better understanding of proper cycling and PCT, no?

That last sentence - "accepting myself as mediocre after being epic" I'm not gonna even go there lol it just asks where will you draw the line? I think that's what scares us girls about it. I'm not arguing with you, it's just such a real fact, but scary nonetheless.

[countrychic]

Ultimatums suck no matter what and are unfair. I think she needs to educate herself with the understanding of what AAS is how it works ect. Only then can she truely understand. If your not going through the mood swings, aggression, tired ect then help to educate her. Its those that don't understand that gives it that stereotype.

As far as the trust issues go I am sure it has nothing to do with your AAS use.

I think if you are in a long term relationship and you want to be with that person it's somthing that shouldn't be hidden.

[natenator]

all you folks trying to justify and rationalize your drug use saying you'd pack her bags if she gave you an ultimatum are no different than other drugs users and junkies.

Listen to the way you talk about this. Steroids are NOT a requirement to working out and bodybuilding. They are a personal choice just as using rec drugs are a personal choice.

Give your head a shake. It is perfectly fair for ANYONE in our lives to be concerned about our drug use. If it is a significant other (not married) then even moreso as they are looking to see if you are good relationship material long-term. If a wife/husband then you should be honest with them.

[L3]

every single girl who knows about my use HATES it

[CallmeB]

My gf didnt approve of my steroid use, but knew it was a personal choice. One day i said.. you stop smoking and I wont do juice anymore.. she threw out her pack that day, and hasnt smoked since..

[_Ragnar_]

My wife is perfectly happy with my use. Her opinion is that she doesn't know enough about it to disapprove. If I tell her I am doing every thing in my power to be safe, as far as she is concerned that is good enough for her.

[marino]

If I tell her I am doing every thing in my power to be safe, as far as she is concerned that is good enough for her.

Same here Ragnar

[BBbox]

all you folks trying to justify and rationalize your drug use saying you'd pack her bags if she gave you an ultimatum are no different than other drugs users and junkies.

Listen to the way you talk about this. Steroids are NOT a requirement to working out and bodybuilding. They are a personal choice just as using rec drugs are a personal choice.

Give your head a shake. It is perfectly fair for ANYONE in our lives to be concerned about our drug use. If it is a significant other (not married) then even moreso as they are looking to see if you are good relationship material long-term. If a wife/husband then you should be honest with them.


yah i think this is a fair comment

[monkey]

Nate:

On my side, I was not focusing on the drug use, more on the ultimatum and the fact that damage could potentially be beyond fixable ( more info needed tho).

Yes, I would even be concerned if I had a GF that would smoke, be anorexic or do anything else that would count as being damaging to her health.

Would I sit down and make an ultimatum ? To me, that would be exercising control, threatening another person with leaving is bascially testing " who has the upper had".

If he "owes" her.. chancs are, she is testing " how far she can go, if he is being serious about owing her ( once again, can onlly guess due to lack of info)
The horny thing and other women wouldn't count to me, since its a trust issue and noting to do with steroids. If he can't ontrol it while on, he won't be able to when off either


So yeah, there is a big difference between trying to condone steroid use or simply jumping up and saying " STOP, she starting the Ultimatum game"
IMO she sorta wants out already. she is obviously willing to risk the relationsh

[CanadianIron]

all you folks trying to justify and rationalize your drug use saying you'd pack her bags if she gave you an ultimatum are no different than other drugs users and junkies.

Listen to the way you talk about this. Steroids are NOT a requirement to working out and bodybuilding. They are a personal choice just as using rec drugs are a personal choice.

Give your head a shake. It is perfectly fair for ANYONE in our lives to be concerned about our drug use. If it is a significant other (not married) then even moreso as they are looking to see if you are good relationship material long-term. If a wife/husband then you should be honest with them.

"Drug" is a strong word and although they are classified as such, IMO they're comparible to a lot of foods out there.

If a guy told his gf to stop eating chips, chocolate and pop because he didnt like what it did to her body, he'd be an asshole pig for wanting a girl with a tight body. I dont think half the people on the site would be using gear if they thought it was seriously dangerous. You can use AAS for a long time and not suffer any negative health effects... the same cannot be said for smoking, drinking excessively, eating trans fats etc.

A gf has about as much of a right to tell a guy he cant use AAS as a guy has the right to tell her shes only allowed to eat salads.

[troy_trinity]

lol- all girls hate drugs unless they're coke addicts and they are snorting coke off your cock :)

girls come and go- your body is forever.

kindly show your gf the door if she confronts you with this scenario

[Pec]

[QUOTE=CanadianIron;332125]"Drug" is a strong word and although they are classified as such, IMO they're comparible to a lot of foods out there.

Sorry man, but are you that ****ing delusional that you use that to condone your usage? I mean man up.. 'Drug' is not a strong word.

Laughable at best the way some people try to justify it, that is almost scary, and lets be honest, a ton of users don't look after themselves properly IE: blood tests. So a lot of significant others are very justified in being concerned as many people aren't doing it in a manner that is great for their health.

I'm not concerned about the people who are using, just the fact that trying to downplay it with some of this ridiculous reasoning is exactly what real addicts would do.

[BBbox]

I tottaly disagree with all the "you should never want your partner to change! accept them as they are!" comments

I think part of a relationship should be always trying to push and help each other become better people. I hope that whoever I will end up with will want me to grow and change and encourage me to be a better person.

[kloan]

Ok, then is AAS holding you back from reaching your potential as being a human being?

[fitnurss]

Ok, then is AAS holding you back from reaching your potential as being a human being?

I the statement was intended to be more generalized than that. You're putting words in his mouth. Obviously he has an issue surrounding his own usage or this thread wouldn't even exist.

[kloan]

I the statement was intended to be more generalized than that. You're putting words in his mouth. Obviously he has an issue surrounding his own usage or this thread wouldn't even exist.
All I was gettin at is that AAS usage has nothing to do with being flexible and willing to change and/or adjust to improve on oneself and in a relationship.

When in a serious relationship, I am open to learning and growing, changing for the better, etc but making compromises with things that are unrelated to that effect is nothing more than an exercise in futility.