View Full Version : Question for married guys ONLY.
HOW do you do it? You take the vow and now you are with the same person for the rest of your life!
Do you still want to sleep with other chicks but you dont listen to that part of yourself, or do you LEGITIMATELY not want to sleep with other chicks?
Being a guy I cant actually forsee ANY other guy saying "I love my wife so much I dont find anyone else sexually attractive". It doesnt even compute with me. I get that you are married and you love and respect your wife enough to not cheat, but like dont you have urges to just **** random hot girls? Isnt that why you watch porn?
Am I way off?
Marriage was invented in a time when human beings lived on average to about 35 years of age.
That makes sense. Living to be 85 and married, not so much.
CanadianIron
07-10-2009, 04:13 PM
I want to sleep with every hot chick I ever see... that doesnt go away one bit.
I love my wife way too much to mess around, id kill myself If i ever cheated. My strategy is to not even talk to other women. If the opportunity came up and I was in a bad situation I could see myself tripping, so I just act like a dick and women think im an asshole.. even the chicks who like assholes hate me.. so far, so good.
I think its a recipe for disaster when guys think they can schmooz around with women from work and have "girl friends" when they're married, it seems retarded but just stay away from women that arent your wife. If your wife puts out and you're happy you have no reason to look else where for lovin.
HoliTheCat
07-10-2009, 04:35 PM
Brother Jersey - I have the same feelings as you...and I have now been dating my gf for almost 8 years...(off an on...mostly on....on the past 4 for sure)...and she is really pressuring for marriage...and I don't know how to do it...I can't even imagine myself saying 'Will you marry me?'...
I need the same help Brother Jersey does!
natenator
07-10-2009, 04:39 PM
the problem becomes what happens once you get older?
Sure when you are young you want to bang everything and anything which is why the marriage thing becomes difficult. Unless you are ugly then it's super easy haha. But as you get older your viewpoint changes and while sexual interest may still be there you are looking for companionship and friendship - that person you WANT to share your life with that you look forward to coming home to, the one you want to comfort you when the day is rough. These are the things which become important as we age - not banging the hottest broad that looked your way.
Sex is always important but as you age I think the other things I mention start to outweigh the sexual aspect of a relationship.
I get urges no doubt but I dont give in. When I was in relationships before I wasnt always so faithful but mariage is a different ball game.
RagingRandy
07-10-2009, 04:50 PM
I want to sleep with every hot chick I ever see... that doesnt go away one bit. I think its a recipe for disaster when guys think they can schmooz around with women from work and have "girl friends" when they're married, it seems retarded but just stay away from women that arent your wife.
Agree 100%. Life does change when you are married. My current marriage was for the better. My previous marriage, not so much. You need to be ready for marriage to make it work. You need to be willing to give up some personal things for the betterment of the relationship. You will need to put your wife first in everything you do. If you are not willing to do this, do not even consider getting married. A wise person once told me that the idea that marriage is a 50\50 proposition is completely wrong. Instead, it needs to be a 100% give from both for it to work. I think if you talk to guys that are in marriages that are healthy they will confirm this.
You just have to think of the benefits of being maried....
-My wife cooks all my chicken breasts and makes me breakfast
-Getting your back massaged when you are sore
-sex...and lots of it
-A clean house all the time
The more and more I think about it, it just seems like a business transaction more than a relationship. People are in it for the dual income, and the tax breaks, and the companionship / company. That seems odd to me I guess....
I am super cynical because my family is completely ****ed and my parents marriage is a complete joke. It has definiteley affected the way I view relationships, especially marriage.
However crude it sounded, I think Nate has a point for ugly people. They are happy just to find someone who will tolerate them and actually touch their naked body. It sounds messed up, but there is definitely truth to this. The same goes for ugly / fat rich guys who find people because of their access to resources.
Maybe Im just a jerk, but it all seems like a giant fairy tale to me.
-sex...and lots of it
you must not be married for a long time yet ;)
The more and more I think about it, it just seems like a business transaction more than a relationship. People are in it for the dual income, and the tax breaks, and the companionship / company. That seems odd to me I guess....
I am super cynical because my family is completely ****ed and my parents marriage is a complete joke. It has definiteley affected the way I view relationships, especially marriage.
However crude it sounded, I think Nate has a point for ugly people. They are happy just to find someone who will tolerate them and actually touch their naked body. It sounds messed up, but there is definitely truth to this. The same goes for ugly / fat rich guys who find people because of their access to resources.
Maybe Im just a jerk, but it all seems like a giant fairy tale to me. this is the kind of negative thinking that leads to fear of commitment.....marriage is challenging for sure but it is extremely rewarding when both ppl are into it. My wife is my best friend and has been for a loooooong time. granted i dont have tons of time to myself but these are the small sacrifices that hold a relationship together. my wife doesnt quite understand my "hobby" but she lets me go about it anyways. my wife takes care of the shit i dont want to deal with.....i put money in the bank and she deals with the bills, groceries, cooking etc......
GYMBRAT
07-10-2009, 05:35 PM
x2........she don't agree with the gear part, but we've been together for 19 yrs and she's known me to be cycling for a good majority of them yrs. She knows also how I use the gym as a "release" of stress as well so it all kinda harmonizes in it's self.
....Marriage takes a shit load of work though man, wow let me tell ya! some good some NOT so good lol
my wife takes care of the shit i dont want to deal with.....i put money in the bank and she deals with the bills, groceries, cooking etc......
accountants and maids do that too.
ie. Business transaction
you must not be married for a long time yet I have been maried 2 anda half years but I know what you are saying.
CanadianIron
07-10-2009, 05:48 PM
My parents have been married over 30 years... and as gross as it was when I heard it, my dad says they still do it 3-4 times a week. So marriage doesnt mean sex is over.
I think for a lot of common law people who decide to get married, it can be because the woman has been maintaining their relationship with the sex and can settle once she has the piece of paper. If you're good to your woman getting sex shouldnt be a problem. I can get it whenever I want... you just have to put in a little effort to get it.
If you need a really good reason to get married, you shouldnt. And IMO no one should be having kids outside of marriage, because without 2 parents who love the crap out of eachother, kids wont grow up with 2 positive parental figures. Thats my personal opinion and IMO the last 20-30 years of single moms is reflected on how many people are coming out of the closet... once again... just personal opinion. I think parenting is one of the biggest functions of marriage. I wouldnt get married if I didnt think i'd ever have kids.
gicantor
07-10-2009, 06:44 PM
Personally I want to get married.
theboss
07-10-2009, 06:53 PM
i enjoy being married....but see girls i want to bang everyday..usually at the gym in LuLu pants doing stiff leg deadlifts or deep squats.............I just leave the gym shortly after...its hard to look away.
BBbox
07-10-2009, 07:25 PM
Why do you ask dude?
If you dont want to get married, then dont.
If you find the right girl, you probably wont mind not ****ing random hot chicks.
Is this question somehow related to your breaking up thread? Does the trouble between you two stem from you not really wanting to be faithful? If thats the case, youre better off not together anyways. Just make sure you dont jump into another relationship anytime soon.
accountants and maids do that too.
ie. Business transaction see you said it there...you are looking at this the wrong way. it's never entered into my head that my relationship is business......its my marriage.....i work....she stays home and takes care of the me and the kids!! it's about the roles in our lives....father, husband etc......you seem jaded and bitter about the way you grew up and now its going to **** with every relationship you have in the future.....soo glad my parents were old fashioned.....
champcar99
07-10-2009, 08:24 PM
marriage scares the shit right out of me..I don't ever think I can do it
BBbox
07-10-2009, 08:31 PM
As a side note... I dont think its just guys who wish they can **** random hotties while in marriges/relationships. I am sure women appreciate and are attracted to others as well.
Its just about whether or not you are willing to give up that "freedom" to be with that "someone special".
marino
07-10-2009, 09:11 PM
I have been married almost ten years and with my wife for 13+ yrs. If she was not my best friend I couldn't do it again. As far as sex goes my wife still wants it all the time and I know that is rare is most marriages, well in my circles anyway.
Mr Ontario
07-10-2009, 09:27 PM
lol :)
you must not be married for a long time yet ;)
Ya its definetely related to my other thread because I love this girl so much, and I just want to be fair to her. I want her so much, but she wants to get married and have kids and all that jazz down the line, not ANYTIME soon at all, but she does want it.
I dont think I want to get married or have kids. This caused some stress for us over the last little bit. We kinda acted like "lets cross that bridge when we come to it" but you kinda have to look long term when you have been with someone for a couple years. At least she does.
I dunno. My head is all over the place and I just wanted some insight from some guys who have been there and make it work with the girl they love. I appreciate all the responses so far. You guys arent just a bunch of meatbags apparently.
Except Mr. O. He is a clown parade all his own.
GYMBRAT
07-10-2009, 10:29 PM
LOL^ you big sap!! bwaaaaaha
BBbox
07-10-2009, 10:31 PM
Thats pretty mature dude. Your not just putting yourself first.
What exactly is the problem you have with marriage? The fact that you just dont want to be stuck having sex with one person for life? Or you think that people cant be happy together forever?
faller
07-10-2009, 11:31 PM
Man these thread's start way too early, by the time i get home and on here it's almost over, lol.
Jersey i've been married for 31 years now....There's actually a wealth of knowledge in the posts, ****ing awesome!!
No you never stop looking and thinking about it, neither does she believe me, it's normal. You just have to decide whats more important. Marriage is NOT easy, hense the high divorse rate.. RagingRandy said it best, it's not a 50/50 proposition its 100% from both of you.
As for the sex part, we both still treat each other like we want to be treated. I train to look good for her, she trains and works out to look good for me. We make an effort to be attractive to each other. I find my wife extremely hot, and believe me you think the young hotties like sex, wait until they get in their 40's and up.
You're obviously struggling with something, more than likely from your past or maybe the people around you, i don't know. I honestly can't give advise, just my own experience's. For me marriage was the best thing that has happened to me. She's my rock and i'm her's. We've both taken the wrong path down a road in the past, we've forgiven each other and moved on.. I'm very happy to be married to her and i would not change a thing..
BBbox
07-10-2009, 11:53 PM
Based on the pic you posted of her, she looks about 18.
So marriage for her would be what.... 5, 10 years away?
WHo knows how shell feel then? Who knows how youll feel then? Maybe she wont want marriage. Maybe you will. Is it worth breaking up over something that may or may not happen 10 years from now?
BBbox
07-10-2009, 11:55 PM
As per your first post about wanting to "**** randoms", if this is more important then being with her, well then breaking up was 100% the right thing to do.
BBbox
08-10-2009, 12:07 AM
I am super cynical because my family is completely ****ed and my parents marriage is a complete joke. It has definiteley affected the way I view relationships, especially marriage.
Maybe you should try to take the situation between your own parents and turn it into something positive.
Instead of modeling what happened to them, maybe use it as a learning experience for what you DONT want. If they were unhappy... why? No respect, no love, lack of trust, infidelity etc? Then if you find someone who can share a relationship with you that is the opposite of this, it is worth holding onto.
Being alone for the rest of your life because you fear becoming your parents is the worst case senario. You shouldnt let their unhappiness carry over into your life and relationships.
You may have some deep rooted issues pertaining to this. Ever considered talking to a professional about it?
i dont want to **** randoms, im just worried that i will down the line. then what? then im 5 years deeper in a relationship that is doomed? she was 18 in that pic but shes 21 now. we are in no way shape or form discussing anything to do with marriage or children, but i am a selfish person sometimes and i dont wanna change that ever.
faller, very well said. helps put things in perspective for sure. i cant give you green cause i gotta pass it around....
Maybe you should try to take the situation between your own parents and turn it into something positive.
Instead of modeling what happened to them, maybe use it as a learning experience for what you DONT want. If they were unhappy... why? No respect, no love, lack of trust, infidelity etc? Then if you find someone who can share a relationship with you that is the opposite of this, it is worth holding onto.
Being alone for the rest of your life because you fear becoming your parents is the worst case senario. You shouldnt let their unhappiness carry over into your life and relationships.
You may have some deep rooted issues pertaining to this. Ever considered talking to a professional about it?
many times. she actually was the proponent of me going to see one for a long time and still is. she thinks i use sauce because i have issues with my body (which i prolly do) and she wanted me to seek counselling for that. this whole thing is such a cluster **** nightmare, im at my wits end....
natenator
08-10-2009, 12:14 AM
i dont want to **** randoms, im just worried that i will down the line. then what? then im 5 years deeper in a relationship that is doomed? she was 18 in that pic but shes 21 now. we are in no way shape or form discussing anything to do with marriage or children, but i am a selfish person sometimes and i dont wanna change that ever.
faller, very well said. helps put things in perspective for sure. i cant give you green cause i gotta pass it around....
All I can say is you are young. The views I held when I was your age are not the views I have now.
I used to not want children either and now I cannot wait til the day that I do.
Sometimes aging has a way of making a person realize what is truly important in the grand scheme of life.
JonnyO
08-10-2009, 12:20 AM
I look at marriage as kind of an Investment, you screw this one up and your FUUUCKED financially. Especially if you get caught cheating. It's just not worth it to me. Sure I go out and look, but I dont touch. Same with her Im sure she looks, who cares really.
Also if you dont feel you can be faithful to a woman, dont be with her. Save her the stress and emotional issues that it may cause. Trust me women that have been cheated on NEVER forget and most of them carry those problems into other relationships because they dont want to be hurt again like that and it makes for a real hard time for their next partner.
_Ragnar_
08-10-2009, 12:28 AM
How old are you Jersey #8? I got married when I was 20 to my best friend in the whole world. Being with her is like hanging out with a buddy. Then we go have sex. :D I absolulty still find other women attractive. I know for a fact that my wife finds other guys attractive, we talk about this all the time.
^^ im not even talking about finding other people attractive. obviously everyone does. i dont even know where im going with this anymore to be honest. i just wanted to talk to the married guys on here to see how they are feeling about things.
physique
08-10-2009, 12:41 AM
Ya its definetely related to my other thread because I love this girl so much, and I just want to be fair to her. I want her so much, but she wants to get married and have kids and all that jazz down the line, not ANYTIME soon at all, but she does want it.
I dont think I want to get married or have kids. This caused some stress for us over the last little bit. We kinda acted like "lets cross that bridge when we come to it" but you kinda have to look long term when you have been with someone for a couple years. At least she does.
I dunno. My head is all over the place and I just wanted some insight from some guys who have been there and make it work with the girl they love. I appreciate all the responses so far. You guys arent just a bunch of meatbags apparently.
Except Mr. O. He is a clown parade all his own.
u definateky have to do some soul searching. i went thru this when mine gf broke up with me. u have to take a hard look at what u wnat down the road, that doesnt mean it might not change either. i think u said u are 23, if i was that age and someone brought up marriage and kids and it came from a gf, i too would be doing exactly what u are doing. running! 23 is too young to be thinking marriage, u should be running around banging hot girls at random.
hell marriage shouldnt even be thought about until at least 30 plus in my opinion.
u will never get the younger years back, so enjoy them. as not every girl out there will have the sex life as some of the previous posters in this thread.
dont rush it. enjoy life, and if thats what u want someday, then say it. but only igf u mean it. 10 weeks apart for me, did it. i missed my gf/best friend, my dog, my house and everything in it. do i want kids now? Yes. we have tried for a while now, and so far nothing. time will tell i guess.
theboss
08-10-2009, 08:30 AM
I look at marriage as kind of an Investment, you screw this one up and your FUUUCKED financially. Especially if you get caught cheating. It's just not worth it to me. Sure I go out and look, but I dont touch. Same with her Im sure she looks, who cares really.
even though you are on a diet there is nothing wrong with reading the menu!
countrychic
08-10-2009, 09:27 AM
these posts are very heart warming :)
Mr Ontario
08-10-2009, 09:33 AM
i will take that as a compliment :)
Ya its definetely related to my other thread because I love this girl so much, and I just want to be fair to her. I want her so much, but she wants to get married and have kids and all that jazz down the line, not ANYTIME soon at all, but she does want it.
I dont think I want to get married or have kids. This caused some stress for us over the last little bit. We kinda acted like "lets cross that bridge when we come to it" but you kinda have to look long term when you have been with someone for a couple years. At least she does.
I dunno. My head is all over the place and I just wanted some insight from some guys who have been there and make it work with the girl they love. I appreciate all the responses so far. You guys arent just a bunch of meatbags apparently.
Except Mr. O. He is a clown parade all his own.
BBbox
08-10-2009, 10:38 AM
^^ im not even talking about finding other people attractive. obviously everyone does. i dont even know where im going with this anymore to be honest. i just wanted to talk to the married guys on here to see how they are feeling about things.
Dude... shes 21. Why are you so stressed about marriage? You said you guys dont even talk about it. Every gf you have will probably want marriage somewhere down the road... are you just not gunna be in a relationship ever again?
The first post you started this thread with seemed mostly to be about not being able to sleep with other chicks. This is clearly important to you which means you are not ready to settle down with one girl. You need to let this girl go because its not fair to her to be with someone whos constantly wanting to be with other chicks.
natenator
08-10-2009, 10:41 AM
Dude... shes 21. Why are you so stressed about marriage? You said you guys dont even talk about it. Every gf you have will probably want marriage somewhere down the road... are you just not gunna be in a relationship ever again?
The first post you started this thread with seemed mostly to be about not being able to sleep with other chicks. This is clearly important to you which means you are not ready to settle down with one girl. You need to let this girl go because its not fair to her to be with someone whos constantly wanting to be with other chicks.
Tell your g/f to get her own account if she wants to post on this forum.
natenator
08-10-2009, 10:44 AM
Hey Bbox: Remember this???
Been with a great girl for about a year now. Hot/smart/nice.
BUT
Having trouble resisting the urge to cheat. So much temptation. Working with hot chicks, all my girl friends are smokin hot. A lot of them go out of their way to show that they are more than willing to be with me. Its especially rough when drinking or 'on'. How do you guys stop yourself from slipping up?
Or, if you do cheat, do you tell them about the "accident" or pretend it never happened?
Advice from guys in current relationships?
Maybe you should take your own advice before attempting to doll out some of your own.
BBbox
08-10-2009, 10:47 AM
I did...we broke up
As I think they should.
Tell your g/f to get her own account if she wants to post on this forum.
haha good one
ironwill
08-10-2009, 11:11 AM
When i was younger i was always wondered if i could settle down as well,,,,I was pretty popular with the ladies, As i got older i felt another need, for a best friend i could be with, i got sick of randoms, i stayed single for awhile and sorted things out, i finally met the one i could envision being with forever, it was a great moment for sure, i struggled for a long time prior though.....Now i wouldnt change it for the world...as i got older things changed big time for me and my views....
If you would have told me that i would find 1 lady id like to settle down with 6 yrs ago, i would have laughed.......
I had a conversation with an older guy that had been married for a long time and was extremely faithfull, and on the road all the time...
He said, anyone can go out and bang randoms, its keeping 1 lady and being faithfull to her and keeping things interesting that is a challenge, and has the greatest rewards in the end...He was right...
Keep your chin up Jersey, it will get better and make more sense someday bro.....Your a good looking guy and that makes it even tougher to remain faithfull with more temptations thrown your way, but you will want stability at some point in your life i am sure.....It means more....IMO
The bar scene and being out and about seem to get stale as the yrs go on, i havent been to a bar for yrs now...but im an old fart...lol
theboss
08-10-2009, 11:34 AM
The bar scene and being out and about seem to get stale as the yrs go on, i havent been to a bar for yrs now...but im an old fart...lol
werd. :flagC
CanadianIron
08-10-2009, 12:52 PM
You need to let this girl go because its not fair to her to be with someone whos constantly wanting to be with other chicks.
This is the dumbest thing i've ever read. Have you had your balls removed or what?
What guys DOESNT want to have sex with every beautiful woman they see.. my mouth salivates when I see a beautiful woman, does this mean I shouldnt be allowed to be married?
:wtf
BBbox
08-10-2009, 01:11 PM
I guess I just viewed the difference as some guys want it but also want to restrain themselves because of their partner...
in his first post it just seemed more like he had no desire to reign it in for her
ironwill
08-10-2009, 01:41 PM
This is the dumbest thing i've ever read. Have you had your balls removed or what?
What guys DOESNT want to have sex with every beautiful woman they see.. my mouth salivates when I see a beautiful woman, does this mean I shouldnt be allowed to be married?
:wtf
I dont.......i think that is a bit neanderthalish honestly...lol....ugggg pussy me want some....maybe you need to get some quality tail, then when you turn all the other girls upside down they are all sisters bro.....There IS more than just a piece of ass once you open your eyes and realize what you have.....
That is once you experience quality, in and out of the bedroom....
No im not holier than thou, i have a past and am glad i do, teaches me what i really desire......Big picture thinking.....
Womens minds and attitudes are more stimulating after youve been in there awhile anyway...lol
Andre
08-10-2009, 01:52 PM
This is a pretty funny thread!
You guys certainly have layed it out for me. Thank you for the honest responses and the no bullshit answers as well.
I actually feel sick to my stomach thinking about not being with her, and the last week has been brutal. FML
CanadianIron
08-10-2009, 03:42 PM
I dont.......i think that is a bit neanderthalish honestly...lol....ugggg pussy me want some....maybe you need to get some quality tail, then when you turn all the other girls upside down they are all sisters bro.....There IS more than just a piece of ass once you open your eyes and realize what you have.....
That is once you experience quality, in and out of the bedroom....
No im not holier than thou, i have a past and am glad i do, teaches me what i really desire......Big picture thinking.....
Womens minds and attitudes are more stimulating after youve been in there awhile anyway...lol
It doesnt help that im 4 weeks into my test/dbol cycle either... or that my wife cant have sex right now...
Im not saying I consciously say to myself "I really wish I could have sex with her"... im just saying, the appeal is there. I dont act on the thought or pursue the line of thought, but the instinct is always there. I actually look forward to PCT some times to get a break from it.
natenator
08-10-2009, 03:47 PM
Any guy who doesn't look at another good looking woman and doesn't have the occasional thought about what it'd be like to bang her is a lying bastard just trying to look good to his wife/significant other or is gay.
Being involved doesn't mean being dead nor does it mean a person is/will cheat for looking and having sexual thoughts of another.
ironwill
08-10-2009, 03:53 PM
Any guy who doesn't look at another good looking woman and doesn't have the occasional thought about what it'd be like to bang her is a lying bastard just trying to look good to his wife/significant other or is gay.
Being involved doesn't mean being dead nor does it mean a person is/will cheat for looking and having sexual thoughts of another.
or just stronger than you....quite possible...i know many like this that dont feel the need to bang anything...lmao......meh....
some can, some cannot.....:ji
just because one is on a diet doesnt mean they cant look at the menu.....i get caught all the damn tiome....lol..no problem looking, its what you do after that matters.......
ironwill
08-10-2009, 03:56 PM
It doesnt help that im 4 weeks into my test/dbol cycle either... or that my wife cant have sex right now...
Im not saying I consciously say to myself "I really wish I could have sex with her"... im just saying, the appeal is there. I dont act on the thought or pursue the line of thought, but the instinct is always there. I actually look forward to PCT some times to get a break from it.
when the wife cant have sex, that must be torture bro.........
if you cant blacktop her, asphalt (ass fault) her...
natenator
08-10-2009, 04:00 PM
or just stronger than you....quite possible...i know many like this that dont feel the need to bang anything...lmao......meh....
some can, some cannot.....:ji
just because one is on a diet doesnt mean they cant look at the menu.....i get caught all the damn tiome....lol..no problem looking, its what you do after that matters.......
Looking does not mean you are GOING to bang her but the want/desire can definitely be present.
And no they aren't stronger than I. They either have no balls to tell the truth or are gay.
ironwill
08-10-2009, 04:02 PM
Looking does not mean you are GOING to bang her but the want/desire can definitely be present.
And no they aren't stronger than I. They either have no balls to tell the truth or are gay.
ahhh, well there ya have it......;)
BBbox
08-10-2009, 06:07 PM
I think its a recipe for disaster when guys think they can schmooz around with women from work and have "girl friends" when they're married, it seems retarded but just stay away from women that arent your wife. If your wife puts out and you're happy you have no reason to look else where for lovin.
100%
MikeyFXD35
08-10-2009, 06:39 PM
Am against the whole marriage thing. I was in a 16 year relationship and I am now in another LT but marriage..no. I don't need the government or church or whoever involved in my life. Plus when things don't workout and most the time they don't I don't need some F*****G judge to decide on how we are going to handle the assets and I certainly don't want to give half my pension to someone that I may have only know for 5 years.
faller
08-10-2009, 11:49 PM
I actually feel sick to my stomach thinking about not being with her, and the last week has been brutal. FML
So act on your feeling's, hell i did.
BBbox
09-10-2009, 11:07 AM
Maybe Im just a jerk, but it all seems like a giant fairy tale to me.
Maybe being single is the best thing for you right now then. It'll help you decide if youre happier outside of a relationship at least.
We talked for a while last night and it looks like we are gonna try to make it work. Im not ready to lose this girl, she really is amazing. I need to clean up my act and grow the **** up.
Mr Ontario
09-10-2009, 12:29 PM
and threw up? :)
So act on your feeling's, hell i did.
turboturist
09-10-2009, 01:15 PM
HOW do you do it? You take the vow and now you are with the same person for the rest of your life!
Do you still want to sleep with other chicks but you dont listen to that part of yourself, or do you LEGITIMATELY not want to sleep with other chicks?
Being a guy I cant actually forsee ANY other guy saying "I love my wife so much I dont find anyone else sexually attractive". It doesnt even compute with me. I get that you are married and you love and respect your wife enough to not cheat, but like dont you have urges to just **** random hot girls? Isnt that why you watch porn?
Am I way off?
Of course there is a part that still wants to be with other people and is sexually attracted to other people, and I am sure my wife feels the same way. Its having enough love and respect for the person your with to be able to control those temptations.
They say 90% of the time the reason people cheat is opportunity, so dont put yourself in the place where the opportunity or temptation comes up.
I feel that the older I get the less urges I get to be with someone else, its been 11 years now and still am happy with who I am with. Its cheesy as **** but if your relationship is based on friendship then the sex and other stuff is a bonus and I think you will do alright in the long term. Shit when your junk is all shriveled up you need to be able to chat with someone cause its all that your able to do.
If your that worried about it though I dont think your with the right woman.
This is one of the reason why I firmly believe and man AND WOMEN need to slut around a bunch prior to getting into a serious long term relationship, you get some of it out of your system and start to learn what you want and need rather than wondering once your already in a long term relationship.
RagingRandy
09-10-2009, 01:20 PM
We talked for a while last night and it looks like we are gonna try to make it work. Im not ready to lose this girl, she really is amazing. I need to clean up my act and grow the **** up.
Regardless of your Biblical views I have always found great wisdom in the verse that says "when I became a man I put away childish things". Things are not always material but also ways of thinking and acting. I think this is the key to, as you put it, growing the **** up.
Good luck. I wish you well.
BBbox
09-10-2009, 01:25 PM
I have become confused by this thread.
First post you say you just have the urge all the time to **** randoms.
Then a bit later you say you dont want to **** randoms.
Wtf is going on?
Turboturist is 100% right about the opportunity/temptations thing... if you feel the need to put yourself in situations like that... something is likely to happen.
The thing is never PUT myself in those situations, they kinda always just happen on their own. Working at a club for 2 years did not help at all either.
BBbox
09-10-2009, 03:02 PM
so then... i guess it comes down to how you have been reacting when the opportunity arises....
CanadianIron
09-10-2009, 03:06 PM
I have become confused by this thread.
First post you say you just have the urge all the time to **** randoms.
Then a bit later you say you dont want to **** randoms.
Wtf is going on?
Turboturist is 100% right about the opportunity/temptations thing... if you feel the need to put yourself in situations like that... something is likely to happen.
Women = Highly addictive drugs.
People who do heroin really want to do it, but at the exact same time they dont. Its an internal conflict all married men deal with!
MuSuLPhReAk
09-10-2009, 03:08 PM
You never stop desiring beautiful women. But if you're serious about your marriage, you will be strong enough to not give in to temptation. If you know you'll cheat or want to, maybe you should discuss it with the wife, I know a few guys that sometimes have 3somes to satisfy that craving. Not many women will go for it but some will.
Or you can always put a different colored wig on your wife, get drunk and pretend you've picked up a chick at the bar :D
CanadianIron
09-10-2009, 03:13 PM
The thing is never PUT myself in those situations, they kinda always just happen on their own. Working at a club for 2 years did not help at all either.
Get a job with a bunch of guys and you'll be fine.
Other than at the gym, i dont even see girls throughout the day. I dont know how an "opportunity" could present itself without a totally random chick telling me to meet her in a broom closet... and lets face it, this is reality not a porno.
Maybe try wearing a wedding band for a while, might help keep the chicks off.
BBbox
09-10-2009, 03:20 PM
Get a job with a bunch of guys and you'll be fine.
Other than at the gym, i dont even see girls throughout the day. I dont know how an "opportunity" could present itself without a totally random chick telling me to meet her in a broom closet... and lets face it, this is reality not a porno.
Maybe try wearing a wedding band for a while, might help keep the chicks off.
Hmmm.. I dunno... if you have to never be around girls and wear a wedding band just to stop yourself from cheating.... maybe the relationship is a lost cause.
Although I am confused about how all these opportunities just "happen" too. I generally find that both parties tend to initiate the situation.
How is it that you react when an opportunity presents itself? This could be telling about how likely it is that the relationship will actually work out.
marino
09-10-2009, 03:23 PM
Wedding band or not some women will ask anyway and lets face it so will men. The key word here is respect, because I love and respect my wife I will not cheat on her. I know she feels the same way. Guys/girls who get into situations where they cheat put themselves there.
physique
09-10-2009, 06:40 PM
Am against the whole marriage thing. I was in a 16 year relationship and I am now in another LT but marriage..no. I don't need the government or church or whoever involved in my life. Plus when things don't workout and most the time they don't I don't need some F*****G judge to decide on how we are going to handle the assets and I certainly don't want to give half my pension to someone that I may have only know for 5 years.
u dont need to be married to have a judge go after your assets man. 6months thats all it takes to be classified as common law. after that time frame if your ex wants to they can go to a lawyer and sue your ass, marriage certficate or no marriage certificate. doesnt matter.
also i agree with nate, we all look at the menu, and if u dont then u must be gay. its whether u order off that menu that can get u into trouble. but looking and saving those images for later means nothing, i would bet 100% our wives/gf's do the same thing. they just arent as open about it as us men are.
CanadianIron
09-10-2009, 06:47 PM
also i agree with nate, we all look at the menu, and if u dont then u must be gay. its whether u order off that menu that can get u into trouble. but looking and saving those images for later means nothing, i would bet 100% our wives/gf's do the same thing. they just arent as open about it as us men are.
Totally have to disagree... some girls might... you can spot them... but a lot of girls wont even look at guys... where as guys... we ALL look.
You never stop desiring beautiful women. But if you're serious about your marriage, you will be strong enough to not give in to temptation. If you know you'll cheat or want to, maybe you should discuss it with the wife, I know a few guys that sometimes have 3somes to satisfy that craving. Not many women will go for it but some will.
Or you can always put a different colored wig on your wife, get drunk and pretend you've picked up a chick at the bar :D
BINGO !
I've known many people that have done it this way.
MikeyFXD35
09-10-2009, 07:26 PM
u dont need to be married to have a judge go after your assets man. 6months thats all it takes to be classified as common law. after that time frame if your ex wants to they can go to a lawyer and sue your ass, marriage certficate or no marriage certificate. doesnt matter.
Not quite true as I just went through this. Assets for limited to what was acquired during the relationship. No spousal support and they cant touch your pension.
natenator
10-10-2009, 02:58 PM
Totally have to disagree... some girls might... you can spot them... but a lot of girls wont even look at guys... where as guys... we ALL look.
I'm tempted to agree with this but never actually asked outright. I've known some girls tell me when they are with someone they are with them and don't look/think about other guys and I know some girls tell me they are like me and look/think all the time.
Women are a bit different when it comes to things of this nature I think. I don't understand how you can't not look/think. A sexy person is a sexy person and we're all human.
CanadianIron
10-10-2009, 04:32 PM
Well, think of it like this..
If most guys had their way, they'd get laid 2-3 times a day... where as I am pretty sure most women are happy with getting it a few times a week... i work with guys who get it a few times a month... their wives just arent interested... i've talked to my wife on the subject a bit and based on her friends Id say girls are not the same at all, in every little group of girlfriends their might be 1-2 girls who oggle the guys and talk about fooling around.
BigWheel
10-10-2009, 06:37 PM
u dont need to be married to have a judge go after your assets man. 6months thats all it takes to be classified as common law. after that time frame if your ex wants to they can go to a lawyer and sue your ass, marriage certficate or no marriage certificate. doesnt matter.
also i agree with nate, we all look at the menu, and if u dont then u must be gay. its whether u order off that menu that can get u into trouble. but looking and saving those images for later means nothing, i would bet 100% our wives/gf's do the same thing. they just arent as open about it as us men are.
In British Columbia family law, you must cohabit 2 years in a marriage-like relationship to be considered common law. The key is they have to prove you cohabited as husband and wive. Each province is different in respect to time, but most are 2-3 yrs.
BBbox
04-11-2009, 10:32 AM
but i am a selfish person sometimes and i dont wanna change that ever.
Jers what happened with this situation!
You following through on your selfishness and "urge to **** random hotties"? Must be working out well with all the uni ladies youre surrounded by
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