What should I do????

[veinslikeropes]

Ok guys I have been dating my gf for like 7 years now. But I have cheated on her in the past umm 3 times about 2 years ago. Here is my problem should I tell her about this it is kind of bugging me because I think if I have secrets then she must too. So do I tell her or do I take it to the grave. I also think this girl could be the one...
Ok guys and girls lets hear what you think I should do.
P.s I`m pre contest right now with some good old tren could be this talking.

Thanks

[The Grim Repper]

Your guilt is getting to you. If you tell her, things will never be the same between you two. You don't need to break her heart to abolish your sins. If you really love her, you will mature into a man and not cheat again. If you can't help yourself, walk away or you'll never stop.

TGR

[69challenger]

^^^agreed. If you continue to cheat on her, she's NOT the one.

[RagingRandy]

x2....Well said.

[marino]

^^^agreed. If you continue to cheat on her, she's NOT the one.

X3

[BBbox]

Tell her.

She should know what kind of guy shes saving herself for.

Wouldnt you want to know if she cheated on you?

[pseclint]

Your guilt is getting to you. If you tell her, things will never be the same between you two. You don't need to break her heart to abolish your sins. If you really love her, you will mature into a man and not cheat again. If you can't help yourself, walk away or you'll never stop.

TGR

This is the best advice right here......

[BBbox]

Id like to know how many guys would actually tell their gfs if this happened...

Probably zero.
I think everyone just follows the "deny till u die" rule.

[pseclint]

Hey we are human, we are not perfect, we make mistakes or have doubts, happens to all of us......

[Born2Juice4Ever]

It is a tough call here.

I can say that NOBODY here was there with him while he made his mistake.
I am by no means an expert at relationships, but I have undergone a tremendous amount of learning over my young years.

To put things into perspective:

If A person commits robs a bank, does that mean that he will be a criminal for the rest of his life?
If a person goes bankrupt? Does that make him/her useless in the economical field? Not be able to ever get loans again, cars....

I always say:
ANY given person, under the right settings, the right circumstance, can commit adultery, or in more lame terms cheat on their partner.

Have I ever been in so much love that it hurts me? Yes. AND even during those "deep loving times" There is still a vast amount of temptation, no matter how you see it, who you are.
The mind is sufficient grounds.

I have spent a generous amount of my money, in profiling myself with doctors, in order to help me understand myself better, to be a better person. I know it is not easy.

I have learned some techniques that over the years, I have found to be extremely useful when it comes to negative pasts---such as it is a cheating experience from you, or from your partner. I would be more than happy to share at least one of those techniques, and you won't have to pay 250 bucks an hour.

I have never had a partner cheat on me, BUT I have seen the damage that such move can incur.

We are not perfect, we are humans.



B2J

[GYMBRAT]

I agree with you whole heartedly B2J, no one is perfect and everyone messes up and not always on purpose! (If that really makes any sense) lol

[AlladdinSane]

Telling her at this point would be selfish, I think. It would hurt her and make you feel better, no?

[BAM]

When it coms to relationships, honesty is not the best policy from my experiences. Living a lie is much easier.

[Seth]

I can't speak for another person, but if I learned I was cheated on, I'd dump my GF the very second she'd tell me. With that logic, I wouldn't tell her if I were you, but you should make it up to her somehow. Break the bank and take her on a nice vacation, I don't know?

[LIVEHARD]

Ok guys I have been dating my gf for like 7 years now. But I have cheated on her in the past umm 3 times about 2 years ago. Here is my problem should I tell her about this it is kind of bugging me because I think if I have secrets then she must too. So do I tell her or do I take it to the grave. I also think this girl could be the one...
Ok guys and girls lets hear what you think I should do.
P.s I`m pre contest right now with some good old tren could be this talking.

Thanks

If you tell her it's basically done it will always be between you both.

if you don't and you move on it will ruin your future some were down the road or she will use it to manipulate you

It was your choice so you can't blame her

Sometime we all make bad choices but we can't change the past If she was the one you F'ked that right up sorry bro

best wishes

[LIVEHARD]

When it coms to relationships, honesty is not the best policy from my experiences. Living a lie is much easier.

I dis agree a lie will always haunt you and it can cause way more destruction and heart ache down the road. The longer you lie about it the worse it will get.

The young man should ask himself how would he feel and what would he do

I would want to know

[veinslikeropes]

All right guys to clear this up alittle It was whren I was 18-19yrs old now 22yrs old. I would never cheat on her now I know I ****ed up and I feel it would killer her to know. I know what I did was wrong and I treat her like gold now I was young and dumb thought it was the cool thing to do... But I have learned and am a better person now. I think I should just not tell her because that would end a great thing and its not worth it I dont think...

[L3]

don't say anythign about it

this sudden spurt of conscience on your part may make her admit to some not-so-nice things she could have also done

are YOU ready to deal with the possibility of finding out some of her secrets???

[veinslikeropes]

don't say anythign about it

this sudden spurt of conscience on your part may make her admit to some not-so-nice things she could have also done

are YOU ready to deal with the possibility of finding out some of her secrets???

Umm I dunno if she would have any secrets she is the very straight arrow person and I`m the wild one but yes I would be ready for those secrets because I woudl like to know then rather find out from someone down the road///

[L3]

yes I would be ready for those secrets because I woudl like to know then rather find out from someone down the road///

and tell us how it goes
good luck

:popc

[veinslikeropes]

So everyone whats is the final word yes or no>>>

[canadianmuscle0803]

Tell her, see what happens ( she will probably leave you) deal with the consequence of your actions, move on and smarten up.. if you want to spend the rest of you life with someone cheating is definitely not an option... if you even consider hiding this from her i assure you it will come out one way or another, confess your sins and see what happens, but dont hope for the best..

[canadianmuscle0803]

wow you guys are aweful at giving advice!! think if you were the girl? or for instance, a girl was hiding this behind your back? you deserve to know, even though pain comes with this truth its necessary if you love someone to the slightest degree you will let them know.. if you hide this your not only selfish but a complete ass with no regard for someone's feelings, your guilty conscious is clearly speaking to you, be a man and act accordingly.. face the penalty now and keep your self dignity or wait it out and put yourself to more shame..

[BBbox]

Man up dude

You ****ed up.
Deal with the consequences.

[tex]

maybe get her super drunk and when she passes out you can whisper it to her......otherwise both of you will end up being hurt and you won't have a gf anymore....

[Danger]

Generally speaking the only thing stopping any man from cheating is opportunity. If you had already discussed being in a exclusive relationship when you cheated you should probably tell her since its the right thing to do and all.

But honestly, telling any girl you cheated on her multiple times and lied about it for several years is gonna end with her breaking up with you and rightfully so.

[BBbox]

It seems like youre leaning towards not telling her.

What you need is advice from someone in a similar situation.

Anyone here in a relationship with someone they cheated on? Yours would be the best advice for him to hear.

[the-vanilla-gorilla]

maybe get her super drunk and when she passes out you can whisper it to her......otherwise both of you will end up being hurt and you won't have a gf anymore....

HAHAHA!!!

sorry to laugh but that was funny!


TVG

[the-vanilla-gorilla]

wow you guys are aweful at giving advice!! think if you were the girl? or for instance, a girl was hiding this behind your back? you deserve to know, even though pain comes with this truth its necessary if you love someone to the slightest degree you will let them know.. if you hide this your not only selfish but a complete ass with no regard for someone's feelings, your guilty conscious is clearly speaking to you, be a man and act accordingly.. face the penalty now and keep your self dignity or wait it out and put yourself to more shame..

i agree with CM on this you ****ed up and she should know if shes the one tell her if she stays your lucky!

but to say she's the one and then keep secrets from her makes no sense to me
if she is the one nothing should be between you two



if i was a girl id want to know
if my girl cheated on me id **** all her friends! (IF I COULD)!



TVG

[champcar99]

When it coms to relationships, honesty is not the best policy from my experiences. Living a lie is much easier.

I agree with Bam..your relationship will never be the same and the ****ing constant nagging about it if she keeps you around after she finds out..

[the-vanilla-gorilla]

I agree with Bam..your relationship will never be the same and the ****ing constant nagging about it if she keeps you around after she finds out..

this is true women love to have the "THING" to hold over your head once they run out of ammo



TVG

[BBbox]

Well very few people answered my poll. But I think two of them (Legaliz and Jersey) have gfs (from what I've read... unless thats old news?)

According to the poll neither of them tell their gfs about cheating. Maybe they can give you advice about dealing with the guilt if you decide not to tell her?


Ive considered cheating MANY times but thinking about the shitty consequence of either having to tell her or lie about it has stopped me so far.

Keep us updated on your decision dude.

[the-vanilla-gorilla]

Well very few people answered my poll. But I think two of them (Legaliz and Jersey) have gfs (from what I've read... unless thats old news?)

According to the poll neither of them tell their gfs about cheating. Maybe they can give you advice about dealing with the guilt if you decide not to tell her?


Ive considered cheating MANY times but thinking about the shitty consequence of either having to tell her or lie about it has stopped me so far.

Keep us updated on your decision dude.

i may be mistaken but i believe the same poll was done not even a month ago bro try a serch you'll get some good replies on it if i remeber right it was a few pages?


TVG

[LIVEHARD]

Well very few people answered my poll. But I think two of them (Legaliz and Jersey) have gfs (from what I've read... unless thats old news?)

According to the poll neither of them tell their gfs about cheating. Maybe they can give you advice about dealing with the guilt if you decide not to tell her?


Ive considered cheating MANY times but thinking about the shitty consequence of either having to tell her or lie about it has stopped me so far.

Keep us updated on your decision dude.

If your guilty you know you F'ked up period.

answer this if one of the women you cheated was hotter and had more to offer would you still be with you women ?/ I think not it sound like she is a securey blanket and you like to play around and run home when your done.

Not fair to her let !!!!!!!!

[Born2Juice4Ever]

Ok:

Very few people replied on your poll?? THIS IS MORE THAN A POLL here.

You made a choice, in fact you made MORE than one choice in the past, to step out of your commitment and enjoy a minute with another woman (or WOMEN).

Now you are sitting here looking for answers.

There is NO right or wrong answer here my friend.

You can do ONE of three things:

1)-Tell her---there will be serious consequences

2)-Do not tell her---move on, deal with it internally and NEVER again make this mistake AGAIN!!!

3)-You can walk away from her. KNOWING that you are walking away because YOU know you are not a reliable individual to her. Walk away without damaging her. You can damage this chicks self steem for life.

We as humans posses tremendous powers over the people that we love and cherish.
Are you ready to scar her for life?

I do not know her at all, but I am giving you rationale here.

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
You think she may have done it behind your back? STILL NO excuse to try to logic this mistake(s) out.

Giving ALL of the posts in this thread, and the advise given, the comments, inclusive of mine, you MUST make a decision one way or another.
I believe my 3 choices sum up, what you will have to do.

In the past I have broken up with real nice chicks, I have made up excuses, because I know that the raw truth may sometimes hurt.
If I know that a chick is deep for me, and we are together for a few months, BUT I start to discover that I am not into her, that I try but does not seem to click, and I WANT to be alone---I often just let her have it easy. Maybe the sex is horrible, or she just isn't for me.....



B2J

[BBbox]

Ok:

Very few people replied on your poll?? THIS IS MORE THAN A POLL here.

B2J

I made a poll "telling your gf if you cheated"

But Im not the one asking for the advice.

I just thought it would be helpful for VLR to see what other people have done in a similar situation.

I noticed that at least one of the guys who replied has a gf (Jersey always comments about the elusive hot pics of his girl) and answered no to telling her about it. Thought it might be useful for vlr to hear from a guy in the same boat . Share the experience you know? Or if anyone else has done the same, they can let him know how it affected the relationship.

[wrought]

Jeezus ****...you're 22 and you've been with this girl for 7 years (since you were 15)???? No offense bud, but you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground when your 15...and by 22 things won't have improved much.

Alright, the unpleasant truth is that there is a 99.97% chance the relationship is terminal anyway so you can either tell her now, break it off, and move on..... or you can keep it a secret, get married to your highschool sweetheart, have a couple of kids, and then have a messy divorce in your mid to late 30s when you both realize that the whole thing was a mistake in the first place because you got together too early. :)

This message has been brought to you by age, experience, and enough legal fees to make winning the 649 look like peanuts. :puff

[veinslikeropes]

If your guilty you know you F'ked up period.

answer this if one of the women you cheated was hotter and had more to offer would you still be with you women ?/ I think not it sound like she is a securey blanket and you like to play around and run home when your done.

Not fair to her let !!!!!!!!

Umm I don`t think this is true like you guys are making it out to be like I banged these chick more then once and I was drunk.. Both girls where about a month max apart and we had just gotten back togther after a fight first time breaking up in 5 yrs or whatever but for the person who say this can`t work because we are to young... How do you know.... No one knows.... But yes i do care about her a lot and I think everyone has secrets and to me yes this is big but i have decided not to tell her and let it go one see where it goes from here if i told her it would just end it so and thats not what I want this could be bad or could be good I know many people who cheated on gf/ wifes and they didn`t tell them I look at it is do you report your self to the police if you break the law no you learn from you actions and move on.... This girl is great I have changed a lot from those days I was in a bad place depressed with my life and where it was going...

[veinslikeropes]

Ok:

Very few people replied on your poll?? THIS IS MORE THAN A POLL here.

You made a choice, in fact you made MORE than one choice in the past, to step out of your commitment and enjoy a minute with another woman (or WOMEN).

Now you are sitting here looking for answers.

There is NO right or wrong answer here my friend.

You can do ONE of three things:

1)-Tell her---there will be serious consequences

2)-Do not tell her---move on, deal with it internally and NEVER again make this mistake AGAIN!!!

3)-You can walk away from her. KNOWING that you are walking away because YOU know you are not a reliable individual to her. Walk away without damaging her. You can damage this chicks self steem for life.

We as humans posses tremendous powers over the people that we love and cherish.
Are you ready to scar her for life?

I do not know her at all, but I am giving you rationale here.

What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
You think she may have done it behind your back? STILL NO excuse to try to logic this mistake(s) out.

Giving ALL of the posts in this thread, and the advise given, the comments, inclusive of mine, you MUST make a decision one way or another.
I believe my 3 choices sum up, what you will have to do.

In the past I have broken up with real nice chicks, I have made up excuses, because I know that the raw truth may sometimes hurt.
If I know that a chick is deep for me, and we are together for a few months, BUT I start to discover that I am not into her, that I try but does not seem to click, and I WANT to be alone---I often just let her have it easy. Maybe the sex is horrible, or she just isn't for me.....



B2J
Great post man means alot

[canadianmuscle0803]

weak excuses, you still committed a sinful act, man up and stop beating around the bush, if you cared about her then ud tell her, clearly you dont know what the word care or love even means.. im not trying to be mean to you but seriously, put yourself in her shoes..

[waderow]

Umm I don`t think this is true like you guys are making it out to be like I banged these chick more then once and I was drunk.. Both girls where about a month max apart and we had just gotten back togther after a fight first time breaking up in 5 yrs or whatever but for the person who say this can`t work because we are to young... How do you know.... No one knows.... But yes i do care about her a lot and I think everyone has secrets and to me yes this is big but i have decided not to tell her and let it go one see where it goes from here if i told her it would just end it so and thats not what I want this could be bad or could be good I know many people who cheated on gf/ wifes and they didn`t tell them I look at it is do you report your self to the police if you break the law no you learn from you actions and move on.... This girl is great I have changed a lot from those days I was in a bad place depressed with my life and where it was going...


sorry for off topic, but i require some sentence structure dude. nothing eloquent, but just a little bit please.


on topic.... you need to decide if this relationship is worth keeping. If it is.... to be honest, I would say you need to deal with your demons, and perhaps talk to a counselor, but pertaining to telling your girl.... never.. Take it to the grave, for if you do tell her, it will be over.

[natenator]

sorry for off topic, but i require some sentence structure dude. nothing eloquent, but just a little bit please.


on topic.... you need to decide if this relationship is worth keeping. If it is.... to be honest, I would say you need to deal with your demons, and perhaps talk to a counselor, but pertaining to telling your girl.... never.. Take it to the grave, for if you do tell her, it will be over.
And shouldn't that be her right to decide that?

[canadianmuscle0803]

And shouldn't that be her right to decide that?

100% agree..

take it to the grave? this is not how life works.. im telling you, all joking aside, one day this will come in the open, either now or later down the road.. he will have to live with this guilt if he does not tell her.. its the honest thing to do..

[BBbox]

Dude your plan doesnt make sense.
If she was the one you wouldnt have cheated.

Whatre you gunna do.... marry her and live the rest of your life hiding the fact that you cheated on her multiple times?

Deciding not to tell her is completely selfish IMO. The only person it benefits is you, because you dont want to deal with the consequences of your actions.

[canadianmuscle0803]

no one benefits from a lie, trust me he will either deal with guilt and eventually give in or even worse, have her find out through another source.

[CanadianIron]

If you cheated when she was a hot little teen, you probably wont make it to the grave without telling her. If you think she's the one, tell her the truth. The only way you can save the relationship and demonstrate loyalty to her and yourself is if you tell her. She'll probably dump you, and that might be what you need to truly recognize the gravity of what you did, so that maybe next time, you dont cave.