UkrainianGuy
23-08-2009, 09:03 AM
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down.
3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever…
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present.
5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
6. Don’t ask what he’s thinking unless you’re prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
7. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.
8. Shopping is not a sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your father is beyond idiot.
13. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
15. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
16. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
17. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
18. Women wearing wonderbras or low-cut blouses lose their rights to complain about having their boobs stared at.
19. Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you.
20. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazine are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
21. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to
act like the soap opera guys.
22. Your mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
23. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
24. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
25. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Get rid of your cat. And No, it’s not different, it’s just like any other cat.
27. Dogs are better than any cats. Period.
28. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down.
3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever…
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present.
5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
6. Don’t ask what he’s thinking unless you’re prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
7. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides, let it be.
8. Shopping is not a sport.
9. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
10. You have enough clothes.
11. You have too many shoes.
12. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your father is beyond idiot.
13. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
14. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
15. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
16. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
17. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
18. Women wearing wonderbras or low-cut blouses lose their rights to complain about having their boobs stared at.
19. Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you.
20. Telling us that the models in the men’s magazine are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
21. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to
act like the soap opera guys.
22. Your mom doesn’t have to be our best friend.
23. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
24. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
25. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
26. Get rid of your cat. And No, it’s not different, it’s just like any other cat.
27. Dogs are better than any cats. Period.
28. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.